Heroes: The only show that can turn Shaft into a pussy

My thoughts on Heroes have been a long time coming. My friends over at CHUD just posted a real scathing review of Heroes, which I am all for. Devin Faraci, a CHUD dude, pretty much laid down the gauntlet and said it like it is. You can check it out here

As for my thoughts, it basically comes down to this. Nothing you ever liked or thought was cool about Heroes is original. Plain and simple. Tim Kring and his stable of hacks have proceeded to lift multiple well known stories and multiple major superhero powers over the past season. Just to name a few...(Possible spoilers)

Linderman's plot - direct rip from Ozymandius' plot in the seminal piece of comic book work, WATCHMEN (if you want to read good superhero drama, read this book now). BTW, how did Linderman an apparent former do-gooder type become the head of a casino and apparently an organized crime syndicate? They made no attempt to explain his motives. They just used him as a bad guy most of the season, then all of a sudden he is a former hero gone over the edge/evil genius?

5 years in the future - multiple rips from Chris Claremont's brilliant "Days of Future Past" storyline on his legendary run with X-men

Hiro's bullshit sword quest - EVERY LAZY COMIC BOOK WRITER EVER...seriously, you are going to do a "it was never about the sword, the power was always in you" storyline...FUCK YOU.

Hiro dropping into Kensei's time - go watch Evil Dead II then Army of Darkness

And that is just a short list I just came up with right now. If I felt like digging deeper, it would be much longer.

As for the characters, 90% of them are idiotic. Nikki/Jessica still makes no sense after one full season of Ali Larter's brilliant performances. Who is powerful? Can Nikki now control jessica? What the hell is up with the mirrors? Ah...who cares. She is a terrible character.

Hiro, the one the geeks find most interesting. Is the most cliched character in the show. And his dad purposely being a jerk to him to test him was one of the stupidest and once again biggest cliches I have ever seen. And seriously Sylar, all of a sudden you decide to let Hiro stab you? Before you froze his fucking sword! Now he just runs at you all fairy like and stabs you so easily?

Nathan Petrelli and Parkman are probably the only interesting characters. I liked the conflicted Nathan. His arc was probably the only decent one over the season. And I am pretty sure he will be back. Parkman was also great because he was such a loser and in many ways still is even though he has this super power.

The cheerleader is stupid. I hate her. I hate everything about her. I hope I never see that Haitian dude again. At times I wish he would mind wipe me so I would forget some of the time I wasted on this show. Her storyline along with Horned glasses dude was so unnecessarily convoluted and drawn out.

I think the moment that really really really bothered me the most was in the season finale when Shaft, for a reason they decided WAS NOT IMPORTANT, begins talking to Peter in the flashback. What he said, almost made me vomit. Its all about love? What the hell is that? Screw you Tim Kring for turning Shaft into a girl. And fuck Peter Petrelli. I dont care about you. You have all the power in the world, yet you continue to act like a bitch.

And...whatever, I am tired of skewering the specifics of the show.

It comes down to this. Heroes started out slow as shit. It is no coincidence that as once it started to get real interesting, it started to steal more and more from popular comic books. I am not quite sure why geeks have not caught onto this. I can understand soccer moms and the like eating this stuff up because they are very interesting stories that they have never been exposed to. And they STILL don't do it well. But where is the geek outcry? Instead, geeks are eating it up just as much as the gilmore girl watchers...peter has a cool scar in the future!!! But wait cant he heal...ah who cares, it makes him look bad ass!

All the chances the creative staff had to take things down an original route or interesting path were wasted. They had legitimately good setups early on in the season, but they chose to take the easy way out and copy someone else's work.

I know this was scathing, but I think the show deserved it. I just don't feel its right for it to get away with robbery and not catch any heat for it.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, Faze, that's quite the little rant. I had no idea a grown man could be so passionate about comics. ;-)

Still, I'd have to say that a lot of my enjoyment of Heroes comes from its blatant comic ripoffs. Sometimes I know what's going to happen, because it's exactly like everything I read when I was 8... okay, 12... okay, yesterday. To be honest, it's kind of comforting.

Is it great? Of course not. It's barely mediocre by film standards, but I see it as acceptable TV. Sure, back in the day (hell, even a couple of years ago), we were all enthralled with what the damn monster on the island was, and look how far down Lost has gone.

You've been lamenting Daybreak; I'd certainly throw Kidnapped in there with it---look what happens to reasonably fun, thoughtful, well-written and -directed shows. Heroes is playing to that common denominator: the chicks who haven't read these storylines before and the dudes who still find some comfort in them. That's where TV keeps heading---the safe bets.

I'm not disagreeing with a single thing you said, just putting a little different spin on it. Yup, I'll watch "Volume Two". No, it's no Army of Darkness---but then, what is?

Fazer said...

Yes, I am a huge nerd.

Yea its sad to see the shows that appeal to the lowest common denominator still succeeding, but that is just the American public.

I really just wish that Heroes was better because it can be.

And I have to say, Lost was awesome in the latter half. That season finale was amazing.

Anonymous said...

Lost's finale rocked my cock.

But on to your other comments, re: Heroes. Couldn't disagree with you more. And, I suspect, if you and I were to throw down in a tete-a-tete comic-book geek challenge, I'd at least tie you.

First of all, Claire. I can't say how I really fell about Hayden Panetiere yet, but when she turns 18 (a.k.a. legal) in August I just might be able to tell you, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, that has nothing to do with the show. Sorry.

I love the show. Every episode. I guess I'm the lowest common denominator. I can easily see each item that was inspired by previous comic moments, but how much ground is there left to cover that hasn't been addressed at one point or another? Oh, and you might as well throw "Rising Stars" into the mix with the other influences you mentioned.

And comic-books are always stealing from each other. Otherwise, you wouldn't have the Flash and Quicksilver, Elongated man and Elastic man, etc. Crap, I'm not finished, but I have to go.

Leave you with this. I disagree, and therefore assume I've lost your respect. But maybe you'll look past it and still find time to play Halo3 with us this weekend.

Toodles.

Fazer said...

Good call on "rising stars". I thought of that comparison when I first heard about heroes AND the 4400, which is a far better show.

Which brings me to my point. Heroes takes the easy way out everytime and rehashes everything. I know a lot of ground has been covered and recovered by comics, but Heroes doesnt even try to bring any originality. At least something like the 4400 took what sounded like a rising stars knockoff into what I thought was a surprisingly original direction.

Also, I don't hate the lowest common denominator. I enjoy being a part of it often. I watch and enjoy American idol and all of MTV's real world/challenge bs just like your average dude. But something like heroes has the opportunity to be so much more ala Lost, which definitely doesnt try to cater to the LCD yet is still popular.

Anonymous said...

Dude, Lost totally caters to the LCD. Look at all of the love triangles that have taken place over a span of 80 days on Lost. That part of Lost is completely ridiculous and a waste of what could be time better spent on other more interesting story lines.
But there is a huge chunk of the viewing audience that demands romance drama in every show they watch.

Fazer said...

You know, I am not the biggest fan of the love triangles, but the show is also built around characters and not around the mythology of the island.

I think Jack's love triangle especially is just something that plays into his poor relationship history in the past. I think it helps him develop as a character.

Sayid and Shannon was kind of a throwaway thing to make her death more impactful.

I like Charlie and Claire though. That was a well developed thing man.

I think ppl always tend to forget that Lost is not about the sci fi stuff and has always been a character driven show...although it can get frustrating when they dont answer a lot of questions.

Sarah said...

Just wanted to chime in here about Lost, I loved the season finale. And yes, I was left with more questions than answers, like always.

I hear that the writers of the show decided on an end date (the season of 2009-2010) which will hopefully draw in more viewers (from 20mil down to 12mil) because they think the audience will feel like there is actually a point to the sometimes frustrating storylines. I mean, I feel better knowing that there is a beginning, middle and an end to Lost. It makes all the temporary lack of satiation worth it.

Spoilers:
So did Jack have a flash-forward? Is his dad really dead? Who was the funeral floor? Ahhhh and so many more that I cannot think of right now.

The obituary newspaper clipping has been posted online and it says something to the effect of a man dying who is from New York. His name starts with a "J" and something about being found on a high beam.

Kate was freckl-ess in that last scene and dream-like. Was this all a figment of Jack's drug-addicted mind?

Just some nagging thoughts to think about over the summer. Super.

Fazer said...

yes it was a flash forward.

as for the coffin, it was either Sawyer aka James or maybe Michael, but I cant think of a J connection for him, but he is form New York.