You Can't Keep a Good Damme Down

3 years ago Jean-Claude Van Damme showed audiences he wasn’t quite ready to just make crap and appeared in a film called WAKE OF DEATH. It was a tale of brutal revenge and allowed Van Damme to truly emote. Seriously, it was quite good. Since then he’s made a couple of forgettable flicks but now he’s back to flexing his acting chops with UNTIL DEATH which comes to DVD tomorrow. It’s the story of a heroin-addicted cop who winds up in a coma and eventually comes out of it to correct his life’s biggest mistakes.

I haven’t seen UNTIL DEATH but I’m looking forward to it for a couple of reasons. First, I’m a sucker for films about crooked cops. From NARC to TRAINING DAY to even DARK BLUE it’s always fun to watch an actor revel in portraying corruption in law enforcement. In addition to that Van Damme’s nemesis is played by Stephen Rea who’s had memorable roles in THE CRYING GAME and INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. I’d say Rea was slumming by doing a Van Damme film but he was in FEAR DOT COM. It’s impossible to slum after that.

Early reviews I’ve read have been positive but they all seem to be shocked at the lack of martial arts on display by Van Damme in this one. I for one welcome his desire to change things up a bit and not rely on his old bag of tricks. Unless of course the movie blows in which case I’ll crucify it for not having enough flying side kicks.

Hot Fuzz In Los Angeles

About two weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get tickets to a special triple feature at the Aero in Los Angeles. The headlining feature was Edgar Wright's "Hot Fuzz", followed by "Point Break" and "Hard Boiled". Now, if you are reading this and you haven't seen "Shaun of the Dead" yet, I suggest you go watch it right now. Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost created an instant classic with SotD. They managed to make a spot-on homage to classic Romero zombie flicks that was also a very accessible comedy for regular moviegoer. That was probably one of the most impressive things I remember about SotD. I am not a huge zombie movie fan, but I absolutely loved the movie.

Now, the trio's second effort "Hot Fuzz" tackles a genre that I am very familiar with...the American buddy cop movie. I was a little curious what kind of film this was actually going to be. Was it going to be a total spoof of the genre? A parody? Or a its own self-sufficient movie? It turns out its all 3. I am not even sure how to classify the movie besides calling it a comedy. Obviously, Wright and Co. love the classics e.g. Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, etc but they didn't do the easy thing and just spoof those movies like the underrated "National Lampoons: Loaded Weapon 1".

Simon Pegg plays "Nicolas Angel", a London supercop, who is sent to the countryside because he is making everyone else look bad. He befriends another guy on the force, "Danny Butterman (Frost)" and the hijinx ensue. The plot in itself takes such a ludicrous turn near the climax that I don't want to spoil any of it for you. The movie itself starts out as a slow burn, but covers a lot of the classic story beats from cop movies. There is even some homo-erotic tension between Angel and Butterman that is played up for some good comic effect. You might get a little anxious about an hour in because the action quotient is basically non-existent, but its all building up to one of the wildest finales in movie history. After you see the last 20 minutes, it just makes you love everything about the movie a million times more.

"Hot Fuzz" singles out "Point Break" and "Bad Boys II" most obviously as examples of cliche cop work in movies. I think being familiar with both films before watching Fuzz will make you appreciate it infinitely more. Frankly, I can probably guarantee fans of the action classics from the 80s and 90s will instantly fall in love with this film. But like "Shaun of the Dead", "Hot Fuzz" doesn't require any outside film knowledge. It is just a well made film that will have you laughing all the way through the end even if you don't know how "radical a dude" Johnny Utah maybe.

"Hot Fuzz" opens TOMORROW, April 20th!

P.S. After the screening of "Hot Fuzz", we were treated to a Q&A with a panel that included Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Edgar Frost, and Sir Timothy Dalton (who is freaking brilliant in this film as well). We found out some interesting tidbits about how they managed to get such a cavalcade of British TV and Movie stars into the film. We also find out that "Dirty Harry" is probably Edgar Wright's fave cop film, and everyone in the panel thought "Bad Boys II"'s second ending that had them rampaging through Cuba was as ridiculous and stupid as I thought it was.

Stone Cold Mania Begins

Usually if I write about a new DVD it’s a day or two before it’s released. Well I’m going to make an exception to that rule. That exception is STONE COLD.

If you’re not familiar with STONE COLD then your life must be in shambles. Allow me to fill you in. It was former football “star” Brian Bosworth’s major big screen chance at movie stardom. The Boz portrayed Joe Huff, a lawman given the assignment to infiltrate a murderous biker gang named The Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is made up of many colorful characters with colorful names, most notably the gang’s leader Chains (Lance Henriksen) and his right hand man Ice (William Forsythe). Bosworth’s undercover journey is full of many ups and downs and along the way every vehicle you can imagine is destroyed. That’s a lie, no hydrofoils are destroyed.

For years STONE COLD has flown under the digital radar. If someone was inclined, me for instance, they could track down a bootleg but it just wasn’t the same. Finally the folks at MGM have realized the gem they’ve been sitting on and have decided to release this opera of mayhem on June 12th.

I know what you’re saying to yourself. “What are we supposed to do for the next two months while we wait for STONE COLD to come out on DVD?” I’m glad you asked. To pass the time you can visit a site dedicated to appreciating the film. At this site you can access a couple clips from the movie, get a rundown of the main characters, and view a detailed account of the product placement found in the film. Visit the site by clicking here.

So Close!!!

I cannot wait for tonight's episode of "24" to end. No, I'm not really interested in whether Jack Bauer has found more mentally challenged people to help him save the world. But once "24" ends tonight it will be 10 PM. That means we will be within one day until a new season of "The Shield."

The wait for this show has been brutal. Not just because of how great it is but because of the powerful punch in the nuts that they gave the audience in their final episode last year. Obviously they're not going to immediately tie up all the loose ends right off the bat. I wouldn't want that. But it's going to be a real relief to see the gang breaking the rules at the Barn again.

Oh, and if you haven't heard Carl Weathers will make a return appearance as Vic Mackey's former partner at some point this season. Can this show be any better?

This will be the first and last Berenger reference...Shooter (film review)

I loved 300 as much as the next dude. Unfortunately, the movie grinds to an epic halt everytime they cut to Queen Gorgo's story of "political intrigue". It really got in the way of the wonderfully shot action.

"Shooter", directed by Antoine Fuqua of Training Day...and King Arthur fame, is a movie that does not fall into the same trap.

Now, what follows may come off as very hyperbolic, but I assure you I gave it 3 days before I wrote anything about this movie. I loved it when I walked out of the theater...and I still love it 3 days later. I feel like I haven't had this much fun in an action flick since I saw Peter Berg's masterpiece "The Rundown". That last sentence is saying a lot if you know my tastes at all. A few people around the net have thrown around the overused "throwback '80s action flick" phrase in describing "Shooter". I think its warranted here.

The plot is nothing groundbreaking, but it serves its purpose of moving the story from action scene A to action scene B. Mix one part "Commando" with one part "Bourne Identity" and you pretty much get "Shooter". Fuqua catches your attention right from the beginning of the movie with an excellent sniping action scene. It starts out very rote and very much based in military reality and escalates into action film fantasy. I was hooked from then on. One might think on paper that watching action scenes based around sniping would be boring, but Fuqua pulls no punches and makes all the kills quite brutal and graphic. A lot of arterial sprays, large bullet wounds, etc. add a lot to each of the action sequences. In the middle of the movie, there is a very memorable assault on a farm in Virginia, which once again shines due to the pacing of the action. It starts slow and involves more intimate kills and then escalates into a massive firefight involving huge explosions and lots of chaos.

As for performances, I think Mark Wahlberg shines in the role of a deadly super soldier patsy on the run. He gives a believable performance even if he looks like he stepped out of an Abercrombie catalog from time to time. Danny Glover was serviceable in his evil military dude role, but I think one of the real standouts was Ned Beatty as an evil senator. He evoked shades of Chelcie Ross' Senator Baynard from "The Last Boy Scout". I had a great time watching him be a total pompous ass throughout the film. Elias Koteas' (yes, he was Casey Jones in the live action Ninja Turtle films) sheer sleaziness practically stole the show. There were also some great looking women in the film too (another 80s action flick staple!). Kate Mara did well as the damsel in distress, and we got see her in a bra. Rhona Mitra was nice eye candy even though her character was totally useless.

All of this brings me to what may be the one true problem I had with the film: Michael Pena. His character goes from disgraced FBI rookie, to conspiracy crazy nutjob, to special forces level sniper over the course of the film. He is sometimes played as comic relief and most of the other times he is used to reveal more aspects of the conspiracy framing Wahlberg's Bob Lee Swagger character. Halfway through the movie, after one scene showing pena being trained, he becomes a face paint wearing badass sniper. That was definitely a little hard for me to buy. But it was a small pet peeve for me.

Overall, "Shooter" does what an action movie should do best, the action. For the past few years, Hollywood has been trying to "smarten up" their action films and it has just diluted the market. Thankfully, the rated "R" movies are back en vogue and more importantly making big bucks at the box office. I think "Shooter" is a great example of how to make a modern action classic. So, go see it...because the Ninja Turtles are currently kicking its ass at the box office.

Barely A Review: SHOOTER

If you like seeing people get shot in the head from long distances then have I got the movie for you. It's the new Mark Wahlberg action flick SHOOTER. Wahlberg stars as Bob Lee Swagger, a former Marine sniper called into service for his country one last time. That dedication to his country ends up with Swagger being framed for an attempt on the President's life.

This movie is like a three round heavyweight fight. The first round is a nice showing in which we see a great opening action sequence and a decent set up depicting Wahlberg going on the run from the authorties. In the second round the film takes a dive. A lot of the focus goes to Michael Pena as a rookie FBI agent who uncovers the conspiracy and realizes that Wahlberg is not the assassin everyone assumes him to be. The problem with this is that the audience knows Wahlberg is innocent so it gets dull watching another character slowly figure that out.

In the third round the film gets off the canvas with a vengeance. It's around this time that Wahlberg, with help from Pena, starts dropping bodies left and right. A shootout at a farmhouse is especially well executed by director Antione Fuqua. Danny Glover fails to provide much in the way of menace but his lead henchman, played by Elias Koteas, manages to be just the type of sleazy asshole you want in a movie like this.

By split decision, SHOOTER wins.

Someone wake up at Fox...Idiocracy (film review)

So like I mentioned in my last post, I rented Mike Judge's follow up to "Office Space", "Idiocracy" through Amazon's Unbox service. I had heard nothing but raves about it, but unfortunately for us I had also heard all the bullshit that went on at the studio level, which basically buried the movie.

I think it got a release in a handful of towns for about a week, and then pulled from theaters. Not to mention the fact that Fox pulled support from the film in post production. Mike Judge had to go to his friend Robert Rodriguez to get the CGI work done for free. Fox had similarly screwed Judge over in "Office Space"'s release, but it ended up doing huge business on DVD, which led to them initially greenlighting "Idiocracy".

Anyway, keeping all this in mind, it is a wonder Judge was able to make as complete a movie he did. To put it bluntly, the movie is an instant classic. The story in a nutshell, Luke Wilson is an army librarian, who is content with his horribly average life, and gets recruited into a suspened animation experiment, which goes horribly wrong and he ends up waking up in the year 2505. Maya Rudolph, a professional street walker, also gets recruited too. Anyway, the movie is basically a commentary on where our culture/society is going. In the year 2505, corporate culture and marketing has basically taken over the world. Our President is an Ex-wrestler/porn star (played brilliantly by Terry Crews), Gatorade has replaced water, the number one tv show is about a guy getting hit in the balls, etc. I think you get the picture.

Needless to say, the movie is hilarious. There are a ton of sight gags that you might miss on the first viewing. The prop and set design is pretty brilliant because even on a low budget there is just a ton of stuff on screen that induces laughter let alone what the characters are doing/saying. After viewing the movie, it is a bit sad how close our world today resembles this idiotic future, but I think you will be laughing too much to feel sorry for yourself. Ok, time to get back to Americanidol.com and continue bashing Sanjaya.

Amazon Unbox...A review of the new service

A couple of weeks ago Tivo and Amazon.com unveiled a new service, Amazon Unbox. The basic idea is simple. You rent/buy bigtime Hollywood movies and television shows and watch them on your computer, an approved player (non-ipod video players of course), or ON YOUR TIVO. That is right, the long talked about service of renting a movie online and having it downloaded to your Tivo for future viewing is a reality.

There really is minimal setup required for using your Tivo (requires a broadband connected box though). You just need to link your Tivo account to your Amazon account, and then start browsing and selecting content. Within 15 minutes, your Tivo begins downloading your content. You can buy movies outright for about 15 bucks or you can rent movies. A rented movie stays on your box for 30 days, but once you begin playing it a 24 hour timer begins and when it runs out, the movie will be automatically deleted.

I tried the service out with Mike Judge's instant classic "Idiocracy" (review coming soon). I linked my tivo account on Amazon, which took about 5 minutes. I selected my movie, put in my billing info***, and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning with my movie waiting for me. The whole service is ridiculously easy to use. If you don't have Tivo, you can use this service with a downloadable "Unbox Video Player" as well, but there are a lot of downloadable movie services out there now (not to mention all the torrents out there). Another big plus for big Tivo nuts...Amazon will continue to honor your downloads and selections if your Tivo does not have room in it. So don't worry if your Tivo is always full, Unbox will wait for you to clear room. Just a quick detour...I have used Xbox 360's video marketplace service. It is fantastic. The HD content speaks for itself. Great video quality and great choices, but the big drawback that keeps me from using it is that you hvae to keep your 360 on all the time (which given its spotty history of crashing kind of scares me) and I use my 360 for playing games. The second you play a game over Xbox Live (which is every game I play) the download is put on pause. Tivo is always on anyway so this marriage just works better in my opinion.

As for the drawbacks, I think the main issue that comes up now is lack of High Def quality movies. I think with time as broadband becomes more of the status quo and more importantly once the HD Tivo box comes down in price and becomes more accessible HD content should be inevitable. The other drawback I noted was the type of content on the service is actually more limited than I thought it would be. There is a good selection of your biggest movies of the past 10 years, but some of the smaller flicks are missing...but once again with time I am sure the library will increase in size. Also, you have to be on a PC to initiate these downloads. You can't browse over your Tivo. Apparently, a lot of people are reporting issues with the PC download side of things, but I have only tried it over Tivo so I can't really comment on that.

I highly recommend this service for Tivo users because of its ease of use and more importantly its quick turn around time compared to something like Netflix. Hopefully, this service will continue to help Tivo differentiate itself from all the other cable company DVR's out there, and most importantly help them stay a player in the game...at least until all the competitors get their act together and start offering similar services.

You can sign up for Unbox by going to Amazon.com and clicking on the "Unbox Video" link on the left side menu.

***If you link your Tivo before April 30th, you get one free download (15 bucks value) on the service.***

ABC: Suck it...again and again and again

I just finished all 13 episodes of "Daybreak", the mid-season replacement on ABC that you probably don't remember because they pulled it after 6-7 episodes.

I have written about it before here, and I am going to write more about it right now.

The finale was brilliant. It answered a ton of questions and wrapped up the season's storyline quite nicely, while in true tv drama fashion left a few dangling questions that made me curse ABC even more because I came to the realization again that I will never see those answers.

I don't even want to write about the show's specifics because I am such a huge fan of what the show did.

I highly encourage that you go to ABC.com and watch all 13 eps, while they are still up.

The DVD of season 1 is apparently in the pipeline for early summer. I am picking it up for sure, and I would ask that all the fans of the show do the same to show the people who worked on it that we cared and to show ABC that they made a huge mistake.

DVD Goodness: Miami Vice: The Third Season

Hitting shelves tomorrow is the third season of "Miami Vice." This is easily the last truly great season of the show as it all went downhill starting in season 4. But season 3 is full of many action packed episodes and a stacked roster of guest stars including Liam Neeson, Bill Paxton, Wesley Snipes, Don King, Viggo Mortensen, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Annette Benning.

The first episode of the season starts with a true bang as Crockett's beloved Ferrari is blown to pieces by an arms dealer played by Jeff Fahey. If you need a refresher of how that historic moment played out, just click here.

The fourth season of "Vice" also will be available tomorrow. Like I said earlier that was when the show started to lose steam. But Best Buy is offering any of the first 4 seasons at a bargain price of "2 for $50." Considering these sets usually run in the $35-$40 range that is a hell of a deal and probably enough to make a completist like me go ahead and grab that 4th season after all. I'm a slave to consumerism!

DVD Goodness: CASINO ROYALE

I'm not a huge James Bond fan. Not a hater mind you, I've just never gotten into the series as much as many other fans. Some of the Bond flicks I've seen have been good, some bad, and some like DIE ANOTHER DAY were just plain old shit. I've never felt the need to own a James Bond film. I must be the only person on Earth who owns 18 films featuring Dolph Lundgren, yet no Bond movies. Well that's about to change with the DVD release of CASINO ROYALE.

CASINO ROYALE was a terrific reboot of the Bond franchise. Gone are a lot of the tired moments involving gadgets and absurd villains trying to blow up Jupiter. Instead we get a plot that fits in with today's current events a little smoother. This doesn't mean the action is toned down. There are some great scenes, including a chase in the film's first act that was one of the best action sequences of recent years.

Daniel Craig came under much fire when he got the role of James Bond. He proved a lot of people wrong with his turn as 007. His Bond is a rough and tough character but with a deadpan sense of humor that can still throw out a one-liner with the best of them. Hopefully CASINO ROYALE is the first of many revitalized Bond films, and the first many I'll want to own on DVD.

Shield Season 6 Webisode

A quick headsup. A 15 minute "promosode" for the upcoming 6th season of "The Shield" (best show on tv) is up at Bud.Tv

You will have to register, but let me tell you its worth the effort. ***Spoiler alert***




The short deals with Lem's funeral and flashes back to one of the happier moments of the Strike Team. It is almost painful to watch. Never has a show evoked such a visceral response from me. I still want to throw things at my TV whenever Shane comes on screen.

The Shield Season 6 premieres April 3rd (FINALLY!) on FX.

So Many Dead Italians

When will March end? I've never had anything against this month, I like college basketball as much as the next guy but I really need April to get here quick. I've already talked about how April is going to kick much ass thanks to GRIND HOUSE and the premiere of a new season of "The Shield." Fitting right alonsgide those 2 is the premiere of the final 9 episodes of "The Sopranos."

HBO has unleashed a promo for these last episodes. It is done in the mold of those dead people tributes you see on the Oscars (Side note: Where was Paul Gleason in the Oscar tribute? You fucked up, Academy). It's a nice way to remind the fans of all the great characters that have found themselves clipped throughout the years.

The new season is scheduled to start Easter Sunday, April 8th. You can watch the new promo here.

UNDER SIEGE: THE REBUTTAL

A couple days ago Fazer used this forum to lash out against UNDER SIEGE. What brought on this unjust attack against this fine motion picture still baffles me. But I will accept as my duty the job of proving why UNDER SIEGE is a landmark action film of the 90’s.

As Fazer mentioned, and many others as well, Steven Seagal does not do a lot of bone-crunching martial arts in UNDER SIEGE. Compared to his pre-SIEGE films that is true. But you have to remember that Seagal’s early films were based around his martial arts abilities. UNDER SIEGE was more the case of a movie that stood on its own, with a little bit of Seagal’s style thrown in for seasoning. It should be noted that even with the overall lack of hand-to-hand combat, Seagal does demonstrate perhaps his highest kick in UNDER SIEGE. A kick so slow that we now know why he has never kicked anyone above the waist in a film since. Maybe he did in EXIT WOUNDS, but he was using wires in that one.

What truly marks UNDER SIEGE as the gold standard in DIE HARD rip-offs are the villains. Tommy Lee Jones is utterly brilliant as Strannix. One year after SIEGE Jones won an Oscar for his role in THE FUGITIVE. I defy anyone to watch those 2 films back-to-back and in their heart of hearts proclaim that he is more entertaining in THE FUGITIVE. Then after Jones you have Gary Busey. Not just run of the mill crazy Busey, but Busey in drag. If that isn’t enough you get Colm Meaney coming off the bench to lend his support in the evil department. The whole film is full of dudes who may not be household names but if you grew up watching as many action films as me then guys like Nick Mancuso, Raymond Cruz, Bernie Casey, and Dale Daye should ring a bell. Even Glenn Morshower, Aaron from “24,” is in this thing.

Is UNDER SIEGE my favorite Seagal film? No, that esteemed honor goes to MARKED FOR DEATH. But UNDER SIEGE will always mean a great deal to me. It reminds me of a simpler time when Seagal was an artist on the rise and not the bloated mess he is today. I’ll forever have an appetite for what Chef Ryback had cooking.

Under Siege Revisited

I know this movie is probably more of Chris' territory than mine, but I always remembered Steven Seagal's magnum opus "Under Siege" being his best movie. Unfortunately, I rewatched it recently and I think I might have to mentally file it in the "I remembered this being much better than it actually is" category.

But before we get into what is sure to spark some unpleasantness between Chris and myself, lets talk about something that "Under Siege" got oh so right...THE TRAILER. First, let's all take a look at it.



For my money, that trailer personifies the modern day action trailer. There have been countless jokes about "the movie guy", "Mr. Voice", etc and how ridiculous these things got as we progressed into the late 1990's. I think one legendary bit by comedian Pablo Francisco is probably the best parody of the entire genre of action film trailers. His "Little Tortilla Boy" piece wouldn't exist if the "Under Siege" trailer wasn't as awesome as it is. You can watch that right now...



So that's the trailer. What about the movie? I think the main problem lies in Andrew Davis' overly pedestrian directing of this film. Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Erika Eleniak's tits, etc are all fantastic in the movie. The script puts an ample amount of one liners, 90% of which work off the "cook" concept, and action in our hero Casey Ryback's plate. Unfortunately, I think there are like only 2 good action scenes in the entire film. For whatever reason, Seagal's trademark aikido takedowns, joint locks, etc. are underutilized and Davis relies more on shooting gunplay. Frankly, Seagal with guns is boring. If there is anything that distinguishes him from the other action stars, it is his martial arts style. The only guy whose on screen martial arts rivaled Seagal's coolness factor was Jeff Speakman, and he made like 1.5 good movies.

Thankfully, the final fight scene between Tommy Lee Jones and Seagal involves knives and is still one of the best on screen knife fights in cinema history ("Beat it" was more of a mini-movie so I can't count that). After viewing the film again, it's clear that Casey Ryback is probably Seagal's best movie character, hence the underrated "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory". The idea of him being underestimated because of his prowess as a cook really doesn't get old, and definitely puts a unique stamp on the entire film. Unfortunately, the director just went ahead and made a by the numbers '90s era action film, which gets elevated purely based on Seagal's presence.

On a side note, "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory" isn't as strong of an idea, where the first was "die hard on a ship", "die hard on a train" just doesn't work as well. The film basically follows the same template as the first, but the action is noticeably better. Seagal's talents are much better utilized. Also, it has an early appearance by Katherine Heigl of "Grey's Anatomy" fame as Casey Ryback's estranged niece and a nice turn by Morris Chestnut as Ryback's reluctant black porter sidekick.