DS Gets Browser, TV Tuner

Courtesy Engadget.


This was apparently the big secret that was yet to be revealed for Nintendo's DS system..a web browser and a TV tuner. Am I the only one who thinks it's counterintuitive to do either on a handheld console? Not to mention Sony beat them to the punch with the browser and Sega beat them to the punch with the Game Gear TV tuner.




I happen to own both of the current gen portable systems, and outside of homebrew, I play the DS more far and away. Why? Well Mario Kart mostly, but because it has always been Nintendo's big thing to concentrate on games. The new DS Lite, while par for the course of redesigning their systems, and these new add ons, make me wonder if that is about to change.

Firefly Returns? UPDATE: Probably not..

I've been jerked around too much in the Whedonverse to think this is much more than reading too far into something combined with wishful thinking..but a glimmer of hope exists.

E's Kristin, in her weekly chat here(scroll to the bottom) says that Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, and Summer Glau were seen walking out of what will be the office for the new CW network. Kristin goes on to screw with my emotions by saying she hears that they are looking into bringing the show back as a TV Movie, Mini Series, or a full return of the show. Gadzooks. Here's to hoping.


UPDATE: Joss Whedon crushes this one himself. :(

Veronica Benched

Courtesy The Futon Critic, UPN will be benching Veronica Mars for the next three weeks/sweeps and instead opt to show repeats. The ratings have been pretty dismal without the America's Next Top Model lead in.

Not sure how to read this one. Perhaps it's better for the show to air it's A material at a time when ratings matter a little less, but it is also damaging to those that are still tuning in every week, never knowing when we'll catch a new episode.

With the CW coming later this year, I had always kind of assumed that this would be a flagship show. Perhaps it's in more danger than I had thought.

Stealing Cable 1.9

Heyoo, you probably noticed some slight differences. It really feels like a new house in here, without any furniture. With the template up and ready to go, I'll work on bringing that stuff in. What you have to look forward to? Massive increase in quantity and scope of content..check. Advances in ease of use to get you said content? Check. Super secret surprise? Check. This is the largets step towards the new "full site" that I've ever done, and I know it looks bare now, but you will like it once the cards fall. I will be working on a new logo to replace our Itunes logo above, as well as go about collecting all of the syndication links so that this page doesn't read like a text file. Finally I will be substantially adding to the link roll, and bringing back the recent posts. I just have a hell of a time getting reacquainted with HTML after falling back on the blogger generic templates for so long. So enjoy the new stream of content, and look forward to a few more cool things to come.

Silent Hill/HHE Remake Pics

Silent Hill Pics Here.

Wow, it seems like they just may be doing Silent Hill right. If they understand that it is all about atmosphere and not action, we may have a winner and a franchise on our hands.





Hills Have Eyes Pics Here.

I'm still on the fence with this one. The Director, Alejandro Aja, who was behind the fantastic High Tension, has me excited. The source material and some of the choices in actors, not so much.

Sources: Bloody Disgusting, JoBlo, Blairwitch.de.

Friday the 13th Part 0

Could our boy Jason be getting the Batman Begins treatment?

Turns out a new Friday the 13th movie is being fast tracked to be released this October 13th, and is being handled by the people that made the decent (and better than the way overrated OG) Texas Chainsaw remake. Color me interested.

Be it the sensless brutal death scenes or over the top camp, Jason has made his way to the top of the (non Bruce Campbell) horror heap for me. Hopefully this will reinvigorate the genre damage done by 10 years of Williamson and knock some sense into Eli Roth, who by the way is officially off the "free pass" list after the shit Hostel and his upcoming Baywatch pic.

Source: Bloody Disgusting

EDIT: Found more on the story at JoBlo here and the news that Chud.com's own Smilin Jack Ruby is writing the script! This gives me a sense of personal vested interest and fast tracked this flick to becoming the top of my most wanted list for the year..yes, even including Grindhouse and Sin City 2. Assuming his script makes it through the studio process, good luck man, I know you'll kick ass.

Early Look at Fall 2006 Pilots

Link embedded in title.

Ain't it Cool News has an early look at some of the 2006 TV pilots floating around. These actually have me more interested than any did last year, but as we all know, it is likely that 1 one of these at most will make it to air and has even less chance of survival in the front loaded ratings world.

Surprisingly, they are still going high concept, even after 2005's genre slate was more or less a huge failure.

One, called Jericho, is a post apocalyptic nuclear war type show that seems to be more about the character's reactions to what is happening than the action itself..which sound great to me. Even better, perenial teenage girl's bookshelf occupier Steven Chbosky is behind it. I always look forward to stuff like this, but this has critical darling poor ratings written all over it. If this even makes it to air, it won't be around at the end of the year.

Second, we have Heroes, a genre show about super human evolution. It looks like a 4400 season 1 type scenario, with a freak of the week, tied together by an overarching plot. This one has ratings potential if marketed right, and the guy reporting to AICN gives it a sure bet rating of making it to air, so look out for this one.

Third, we have a drama entitled "A House Divided," a show about a red state leaving the union after a liberal president gets elected. Apparently the pilot gets deeper than that and raises some good questions, but I don't see this having much gas to go on with the story line outside of a movie event or a miniseries. That said, the absense of West Wing this fall will leave a huge hole for a political drama, and commander in chief isn't filling it anytime soon.

Finally, we have the greatest pilot in the history of all time, "untitled zombie project" in which, and I paraphrase, "The first 15 minutes of 2004 Dawn of the Dead.. is stretched across an hour." The first tension filled 15 minutes of that movie were awesome, I love zombies, and I am ranting like a mad fanboy now. How could they possibly ruin my parade? Oh, Kevin Williamson, responsible for the great horror movie depression that has gone on from the first Scream and continues to haunt us today, is responsible for this one. Interesting, and I'd probably still watch, but the AICN guy pegs this as having not a chance in hell of making it to air. Fair enough.

Anyways, check out the link for more info.

The pinnacle of video games

Retro Gamer (link embedded in post title above) takes a look back at each console from the Atari to the Sega CD and discusses which games, in his opinion, really made the most out of their respective console's potential.

A really interesting read, and not some fanboy rant (read: he actually details processes used to stretch console power to the limits).

With quite a bit of media attention focused on the "stratification" of gamers, between the state of the art gamers and the newfound love for classic titles and gameplay, be it over Xbox live arcade, the upcoming Revolution's massive back catalog, or PSP emulation homebrew, this begs the question of whether or not something like this would be good for the industry.

It amazes me that it has taken so long for the idea to take hold that the best graphics and sound can't hold a candle to engrossing and downright fun gameplay. If this newfound interest spurs the so called next-gen developers to slow down and take a look at how fun this game is to play instead of how pretty it is to look at, great, but what if this does lead to a new two tiered videogame culture? Newsflash..it already does. Whether it be the immensely popular gameboy or even those 20 dollar controllers you hook directly into your tv, the casual gamer has been around and kicking for a long time. All this new media focus will do is bring these stragglers around to the big boys..which means more money to Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo..which hopefully means more money thrown into the service and experience, making it better for everyone. Casual folks, bring it on.

Development Arrested...

So, Fox just dumped the last 4 episodes of their truncated 13 episode order on Friday night against the olympics opening ceremony. One final insult to a show that without question is the funniest show to ever have existed. At this point, I am kind of over being pissed about the treatment this show got. Its just disappointing that Peter Ligori's promises went unfulfilled. We went from possibly getting 2 guaranteed seasons worth of episodes to getting one full to getting 13 episodes.

Before I get off the disgruntled viewer high horse I just want to say one thing. NBC made a bold move putting my name is earl and the office together and rebuilding thursday night as their comedy showcase night...guess what both of those shows are flourishing. They are doing great in the ratings. Specifically for the office, which by all intents and purposes should not be successful on American tv. No laugh track, no obvious physical comedy, no overt relationship conversation/humor, and Americans are watching!!! NBC did the same with seinfeld and it turned into SEINFELD. I really shudder to think of all the shows that Fox killed that could have gone on to something great. You would think with the massive ratings that Idol pulls in they could afford to throw a couple mill at AD and let it gain an audience with some consistent scheduling and advertising.

Anyway, Arrested Development...Mitch Hurwitz I thank you for being a genius and sharing it with us. These last four episodes were a great way to end this show. You can't say enough about the cast, writers, directors, etc. All top notch. I would say that this podcast/blog exists partially because of Justin and I's mutual love for the show. If it continues I will be more than happy, but I am more than content with the show leaving on top...even if no one noticed.

Arrested Development: A Eulogy.

Wow..I just finished the 2 hour (series?) finale for Arrested Development, and it has lived up to the masterful consistency the show has given us for 2 and 3/8ths seasons. They pulled no punches, and in the sad event that this show doesn't come back, we do have some closure. Things come together in ways that you would never have imagined, and only make you wonder what greatness could have been had this been allowed to have a full run. The funniest show OF ALL TIME, hands down, possibly came to an end tonight, and I hope all of you reading either got to enjoy it along with me, or will do so when the opportunity becomes available. Let's all do what we can to ensure this show finds a home somewhere else and is given the chance and backing that it deserves.

Justin Fixes the Movies Vol. 3: Saw II

This one is going to be slightly different because I have no reservations recommending this movie. This is not to say it is perfect or even great, but more worked than did not. Here goes:

-MTV Editing needs to die. Quick cuts aren't necessary to increase tension. One scene in particular involving a pit goes to show this beautifully..one of the best torture scenes I have ever seen.
-Writing yourself in a hole that can only be explained by a twist..M Night sort of started this revolution, but it has become something of a crutch. Even if the twist is pretty good (at least one part of it) as is the case here, it's kind of overplayed and you knew at least some kind of twist was coming, thus diminishing the power that could have been.
-Everyone that has been involved with 7th Heaven (except Belzer) should not be allowed to do anything else ever.
-WE have on our hands the most interesting franchise serial "killer" to be seen in a while. We also have two movies that have shown a lot of potential, but have come up short of being classic.
-Let the blood flow. This ties into quick cuts, but I know I yearn for more organic effects. I know the MPAA is probably responsible for this, but if that is the case, don't hold out on the UNCUT version for the next sequel. KNB, I know you weren't directly involved here, but allow me to rant a little on you. Let's get back to the Savini roots.
-Make the characters more than an excuse for a brutal death scene. Two of the three females in the house have slim to no backstory. We are even left to wonder what becomes of one of them after she is shown trapped..but never resolved. This is just plain sloppy. As for the rest, the only one we really have any feeling for at all is the recurring character from the first film. And for christ's sake, low budget is not an excuse for poor acting, and all of the houseguests are pretty shite in this department.
-Thumbs up for tying in the first film in such a strong fashion, and yet make it so that you don't need to have seen the first film to understand what happened here.
-Inventive death scenes are great, and the movtivation for the murders are interesting to say the least..but again, the script shouldn't revolve around them, but the other way around.
-It is hard to follow up such an odd film, but it didn't have to be this conventional. For what it is though, this is at the top of the game.

My final verdict: Saw II is great for fans of the first, and fans of non shitty horror movies in general. Perhaps a bit conventional for the Peter Jackson die hardies, and a bit off the wall for the Kevin Williamsons, this should entertain anyone in between.

Tune in next week when I fix Nic Cage in "The Weather Man."

75th Post Extravaganza

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Fazer on Film...this week's installment: PREDATOR

Approximately 6 perfect movies exist, this is one of them.

'nuff said.

Oh, I got a new mic also, so "stick around"

Review: Waiting (Justin Fixes the Movies vol 2)

I have never worked in a resturaunt, but I must say I laughed quite a few times at this movie. Don't get me wrong, this is no Office Space (which it has been criminally compared to) or even Van Wilder, but a potentially great movie with quite a bit of excess baggage, and a bit too much reliance on running gags.

How to Save it?
- Cut some characters. Milonakis and that other guy were completely unecessary..as were many more that I have forgotten were in the movie. All they served was a distraction from the main story..if there is one..and kept the more interesting characters from developing.
- What's your fuckin point? Was this Justin Long's story? Was it the Freaks and Geeks guy's story? Was it Ryan Reynolds' excuse to deliver one liners? It's actually a sloppy mix of the three, but not enough time is spent on any one for them to really do any good. Anna Faris, who actually has some comedic chops, was completely wasted here, as were the other chicks, except the overused "crazy bitch" waitress, who incidentally came across as the only over the top character on display.
- Slacker comedy doesn't have to be sloppy. In the right hands, this could have been office space, but the script's unevenness and the goddamn showing of the balls running gag stamp all over that.
- Ryan Reynolds..fire your agent. You are a funny person, and can make unfunny lines memorable..but you are wasted and one dimensional here. How bout the best actor with worst movies award here?
- Justin Long's arc was guessable from the beginning. Yawn.
- As more proof that Dane Cook and Ryan Reynolds are the same person, both are in this movie, but never appear together.
- Development..outside of Justin Long's yawnfest and a very short glimpse into Ryan Reynold's character's home life, we never see any motivation for these folks or why they behave in the way that we do. I rarely say this, but another half hour could have been tacked to this movie and made it far superior, if used properly.

Overall, I recommend that you do check this one out, and it is superior to most of the shit that passes for comedy these days, but in my elitist eyes, this is another case of potential greatness and a dropped ball.

Review: Doom (Justin Fixes the Movies volume 1)

This is a little test if you will, a foray into reviewing shit. When it comes to DVDs, I will try to judge the movie on it's own merits, and not give much time to audio or video quality, or extras, unless they are such an overwhelming factor that it would influence the shelf life of the dvd. Why? Countless other sites cover this stuff, and I figure if you are here, you probably want to see me rant on the movie itself. I will assume that you have read other reviews, and have a general idea of what the movie is about. Our first victim, Doom.

Growing up, Doom was a revolution to me. Sure it wasn't the first FPS that I played (that was Zero Tolerance) nor were there any Nazis to slaughter, but something about this game worked. It looked beautiful at the time, and was pretty gruesome. I would say a lot of the reason Grand Theft Auto works so well is a direct influence from Doom..but thats too abstract for me to attempt to describe right now, since it's so late. Anyways..what was I saying?

Oh yeah. Doom never really had a great story, but it was pretty fun to play. It was at this point last year when I found out it was being made into a movie that I realized that Hollywood had hit rock bottom. Don't cringe, that was unintentional.

This movie is absolute shit. It actually takes the almost non existant story of the Doom franchise and tries to merge it with the Resident Evil movie, making for a retarded mess. It is boring to watch, poorly acted, and has some one liners later on in the movie that rival Batman and Robin. The one scene that everyone talks about, the "first person" scene, looks better in the game...as do most of the CGI effects present.

Shew..ok. Now Deeper: There actually was a criminally fumbled plotline here, as the Rock's Sarge character had potential to be interesting if it didn't end up so predictable.

How could this movie be saved you ask? Here goes.. (SPOILER WARNING)
- Lose the genetic experiment shit. This was a portal to hell and should have stayed that way. Not only is it a bit less played out, it won't unnecessarily convolute the plot.
- Less concentration on action (which doesn't even get started until about the halfway mark anyway) and more on the horror, hopelessness, and fear elements..which are practically nonexistant.
- Greatly expand Sarge's Arc, and for the love of god, don't dumb it down to him vs the hero in the end. Show this guy gradually lose it throughout the film.
- Lose the sister. Bad character, worse actress.
- Link it more to the game. Naming characters after ID software staff is not enough. This had the potential to be a desolate, hopeless schooling of cinema..but with all that said, I guess people weren't expecting much from a videogame movie. Thank you Dr. Boll.