Look what's coming out on DVD, you little jerks!

It's no big revelation to say the holiday season has inspired a glut of terrible family films that nevertheless still turn a profit--even Tim Allen has successfully managed to fight off oblivion, after all. The bright side of such dire industry-enforced lowered expecations is that when a truly great holiday-themed film is made, it sticks out like Rudolph's big red glowing phallus, and inspires the same kind of unadulterated joy for generations to come. Chief among them, at least for my money, is 1990's life-altering Christmas megahit Home Alone, which is getting an extreme DVD makeover just in time for, uh, next Tuesday.

I don't think there's a person in America who needs a plot synopsis, so I'll move directly to the extras. There are several behind-the-scenes featurettes, one of them guided by the "Mac" himself, and of course a blooper reel and a set of deleted scenes. The features that make this release worth more than a rental however include: "Where's Buzz Now?," which offers a variety of hypotheses on where Kevin's big ugly brother might be today. I'd like to think he's off somewhere punching nerds with Chet from Weird Science and Wayne Arnold from The Wonder Years. Also included--uncut--is the infamous clip from "Angels With Filthy Souls" that Kevin uses to such great effect. And the icing on this booby-trapped gingerbread house is a newly-recorded feature-length commentary from Chris Columbus and Macaulay Culkin. I don't think there's a better way to spend Christmas Day than watching the Wet Bandits get torn to shreds by a precocious twirp. So this Tuesday I suggest you--as I will--go to your favorite video store, fork over a $20, and tell whoever's at the register to "Keep the change, ya filthy animal!" And then--as I will--take the change anyway.