The internet has been rumbling about this for a few days, but I can now report with a sufficient degree of certainty that Arrested Development has been picked up by Showtime for two thirteen episode seasons. More as it comes in..
BREAKING: Development gets bail
The internet has been rumbling about this for a few days, but I can now report with a sufficient degree of certainty that Arrested Development has been picked up by Showtime for two thirteen episode seasons. More as it comes in..
G4 is Teh Suck
Allow me to jump on the G4 haters bandwagon while I eagerly await the report from Steve Jobs Keynote address in a little while.
What the hell are they trying to do? The recent acquisitions: Star Trek: TNG, The Best of Triumpth, The (Kimmel Carolla) Man Show, and Banzai. Not one of which has new content, with the possible exception of the overrated insult comic dog. The recent schedule changes: heavy expansion of syndicated nighttime content, reduction of original game oriented programming.
Is this the culmination of the sweeping changes that began when the screensavers became the new screensavers? Is this a desperate move to cut their losses? Is this a calculated aping of Spike Tv's format? No. Their half assed attempt to create something original is akin to a new house where you remodel one room at a time, finish, and realize your whims have changed so much that nothing fits together. The Tech TV leftover X-Play lives in the shadow of it's host, G4 staple and oft repeated Attack of the Show is interesting for about 5 minutes of it's 60 minute runtime (and a victim of re-retooling as recent as last week). The new syndicated content is front and center, but again offers nothing original.
The solution?
-G4 needs to save face in the eyes of what was it's core audience, tech nerds and gamers. Cut Attack of the Show down to a half hour, and stop forcing them to try to be edgy. If you claim to cover internet culture, cover internet culture, not try to be an all encompassing demographic grab (See recent segments the Lush, etc..). It is obviously a chore to fill an hour every day by the looks of the show. Some of the skits and other things are truly funny, but they could have a really great show if it was shorter, and as such eliminating the massive amounts of filler.
-Goodbye to Cheat. This retarded program stretches out a 20 second google search over a half hour, not to mention the horrible host.
-Replace the missing half hour of Attack with a Tech oriented show. This doesn't have to be as Techy as the screen savers, but maybe an Engadget show or something like that..think about it..they could give a segment to each popular facet of their site..5 minutes of daily Gadget, Videogame, and Apple news served in a real news format show with talking heads and such might be cool to see.
-Continue to add syndicated content, but be a little more discerning. Turner has made a living off of choosing this carefully, and there are a ton of shows that could do well. Bottom line is to make the choice, keep trying to appease everyone by only choosing shows that you think appeal to your gamer demographic, or try to make a broader swipe at the syndication market by syndicating good shows. I hear Scrubs will be up for a deal very shortly...
-Stop trying to shoehorn attractive people into your shows. Nerds are not attractive, and it just serves to distract from what you are doing. The hint: if they were around when you were Tech TV, they are probably OK.
-Tell Pereira and Lane that repeating easy and dated insults is not funny or edgy.
-Repeating ancient original content is not appeasing your original tech crowd.
Bottom line here is that with each sweeping change, this network seems to be digging deeper into it's own grave, and at the current rate, they can look forward to a quick death if the a la carte cable bill passes. It's time to start looking forward G4.
What the hell are they trying to do? The recent acquisitions: Star Trek: TNG, The Best of Triumpth, The (Kimmel Carolla) Man Show, and Banzai. Not one of which has new content, with the possible exception of the overrated insult comic dog. The recent schedule changes: heavy expansion of syndicated nighttime content, reduction of original game oriented programming.
Is this the culmination of the sweeping changes that began when the screensavers became the new screensavers? Is this a desperate move to cut their losses? Is this a calculated aping of Spike Tv's format? No. Their half assed attempt to create something original is akin to a new house where you remodel one room at a time, finish, and realize your whims have changed so much that nothing fits together. The Tech TV leftover X-Play lives in the shadow of it's host, G4 staple and oft repeated Attack of the Show is interesting for about 5 minutes of it's 60 minute runtime (and a victim of re-retooling as recent as last week). The new syndicated content is front and center, but again offers nothing original.
The solution?
-G4 needs to save face in the eyes of what was it's core audience, tech nerds and gamers. Cut Attack of the Show down to a half hour, and stop forcing them to try to be edgy. If you claim to cover internet culture, cover internet culture, not try to be an all encompassing demographic grab (See recent segments the Lush, etc..). It is obviously a chore to fill an hour every day by the looks of the show. Some of the skits and other things are truly funny, but they could have a really great show if it was shorter, and as such eliminating the massive amounts of filler.
-Goodbye to Cheat. This retarded program stretches out a 20 second google search over a half hour, not to mention the horrible host.
-Replace the missing half hour of Attack with a Tech oriented show. This doesn't have to be as Techy as the screen savers, but maybe an Engadget show or something like that..think about it..they could give a segment to each popular facet of their site..5 minutes of daily Gadget, Videogame, and Apple news served in a real news format show with talking heads and such might be cool to see.
-Continue to add syndicated content, but be a little more discerning. Turner has made a living off of choosing this carefully, and there are a ton of shows that could do well. Bottom line is to make the choice, keep trying to appease everyone by only choosing shows that you think appeal to your gamer demographic, or try to make a broader swipe at the syndication market by syndicating good shows. I hear Scrubs will be up for a deal very shortly...
-Stop trying to shoehorn attractive people into your shows. Nerds are not attractive, and it just serves to distract from what you are doing. The hint: if they were around when you were Tech TV, they are probably OK.
-Tell Pereira and Lane that repeating easy and dated insults is not funny or edgy.
-Repeating ancient original content is not appeasing your original tech crowd.
Bottom line here is that with each sweeping change, this network seems to be digging deeper into it's own grave, and at the current rate, they can look forward to a quick death if the a la carte cable bill passes. It's time to start looking forward G4.
Gervais Update
The New York Times posted on something that I talked about a few posts down. Karl Pilkington is a genius. The whole 12 episode run has been borderline genius.
12 episodes are up. The response has been so huge that they are now putting up another season of episodes for money. Gervais is actually going to charge 2 bucks per episode with 7 dollars for an entire season, but no one is quite sure how many episodes are going to be in a season.
Now I am one who doesnt like paying for much. I pay for an xbox live subscription and that really is the only other thing I pay for outside of the essentials (water, power, cable, broadband). But let me tell you, these podcasts have been so good that I am actually considering paying for the future eps of the Gervais show.
12 episodes are up. The response has been so huge that they are now putting up another season of episodes for money. Gervais is actually going to charge 2 bucks per episode with 7 dollars for an entire season, but no one is quite sure how many episodes are going to be in a season.
Now I am one who doesnt like paying for much. I pay for an xbox live subscription and that really is the only other thing I pay for outside of the essentials (water, power, cable, broadband). But let me tell you, these podcasts have been so good that I am actually considering paying for the future eps of the Gervais show.
Call me crazy..
I usually don't fall for reality shows, but I LOVE primetime game shows. Deal or No Deal has me yelling at the screen more than any non sports event ever has. God love this show and the inevitable primetime gameshow fad it will ignite.
Justin Fixes the (Classic) Movies: Garden State
Whew, this is an excellent movie. The first ever guy movie equivalent of a girl movie. Zach Braff shows us a whole new side, and the fanboy dream Portman struts her stuff too. That's not to say there aren't some flaws.
-Soundtrack subtlety. Yes, it's a great soundtrack. It's just too blatant and in your face in the movie. It's almost as if some scenes were written around the songs.
-Bad lines. New Slang is a great song, but it's not changing lives anytime soon. Did I mention I hate cringing during movies?
-Cliche. At one point, these twentysomething lost in life characters actually scream into the void, or an empty stone quarry.
-Large's arc is a bit too end loaded..we don't see him gradually change as much as we should.
Other than those few nitpicky things that I blew up way more than they are prevalent in this flick, this is truly a great movie. I recommend it to anyone. 9.6/10
Juggernaut Bitch!
I hate X-Men..however this youtube clip had me laughing out loud enough that I had to share. Click to enjoy the Juggernaut Bitch! Adult Swim needs to find these guys and give them a show.
Feed problem fixed
And here I was wondering why our headline ticker was broken and our feed subsription number had remained static for the last week. Anyway, I have isolated the problem code and taken care of it, so feel free to subscribe at will.
Justin Fixes the (Classic) Movies: Spider-Man
With the Spidey 3 hype machine kicking into second gear thanks to the Venom teasing poster seen here, I figure it is a good time to continue what will become an avalanche of me fixing classic movies. Let me re-iterate classic on this blog means classic to me, not classic to your parents. Here, I fix the movie that brought back comic book movies in a big way, Sam Raimi's Spider-Man.
Starring Bruce Campbell and featuring such young talent as Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, and James Franco, Spider-Man kicked action movies on their ass, revitalizing a genre that had been stagnant thanks to the likes of Joel Shmuckmaker. Let me preface this by saying that I am a DC, Batman in particular guy, but I did enjoy this movie. Here goes.
-Aunt whatever her name was is a terrible actress. Michael Caine in Batman Begins? Great. This bitch? HARRIBLE!
-More Bruce. The only movie that couldn't use this advice, to be fair, is Evil Dead.
-Good and necessary creative change to the orgin story and "powers." The webbing issue is a great example of how to implement a change without shitting on the source material.
-The Green Goblin's costume looks like shit. Granted, it's par for the course on Marvel bad guys, and the source material for this guy is pretty bad, but they could have done better than this. Plus points for fleshing out what was a pretty shitty character. Minus points for basing quite a bit of the "trilogy" on this arc.
-The era of one liners is over. They are kept to a minimum here, and used far less than in the overrated X-Men movie, but still a little cringey when they pop up.
-More Bruce
-The inability to take their characters to dark places is what always pissed me off about Marvel. This movie does nothing to change that. Hopefully we'll finally see this in the third flick.
-I miss organic special effects. The CGI here, though for it's time was something great, is actually hard to watch now.
-Kirsten Dunst needs a tan and a sandwich.
Spider-Man: Doesn't compare to Batman Begins, but for what it is, the best Marvel adaptation to date, including it's own not too good sequel. 8.4/10
Justin Fixes the (Classic) Movies: Braindead
As promised, here goes my first classic review. Braindead, for those in the know, is one of the early works of now legendary director Peter Jackson. It has a few slightly gory scenes, and possibly a plot. Here's how to fix it:
-Give us a definitive cut of the movie. Braindead (The UK/Aussie cut) is too long, Dead Alive (The USA cut) is way too short and butchered. If you happen upon the even shorter an more butchered "Video Cut," burn the tape.
-Give us a definitve DVD of the movie to support said cut. Peter Jackson is pretty good with DVDs, and this is currently his only flick that isn't supported with a killer set. Even his mediocore "Bad Taste" has a 2 disc set with holographic cover.
-Someone explain to me who saw this movie and thought "Man, this director would be great for Lord of the Rings."
-Do more movies with this amount of gore. Hell, just insert the lawnmower scene into any movie. If that scene was in Dukes of Hazzard, I'd not only give the movie a 10 and own it, I would pay to have it screened in churches.
Dead Alive: 8/10
Braindead: 9.8/10
Ultraviolet will fail
Yeah, I realized my gaffe..the movie isn't out until next weekend, so expect a review then. But until that..my analysis of the ad campaign for the flick. This movie will fail, and it's the studios fault.
(I am giving Wimmer a lot of upfront credit. I think that he has proven he can take a run of the mill premise and make something special, so we will assume that the movie is good.)
The ad campaign is horrible. What sets this flick apart from any dime a dozen female herione flick? What even sets this apart from Aeon Flux, or Underworld? Is this a popcorn flick, or is there something more at work?
Had it not been for Wimmer's attachment to this, it would fly completely under my radar. Since no one knows who the hell Wimmer is, I have a feeling you'll see this movie fly under everyone's radar, and relegate Wimmer to lo-budget for the rest of his career. Look for this movie to unfortunately tank next weekend.
(I am giving Wimmer a lot of upfront credit. I think that he has proven he can take a run of the mill premise and make something special, so we will assume that the movie is good.)
The ad campaign is horrible. What sets this flick apart from any dime a dozen female herione flick? What even sets this apart from Aeon Flux, or Underworld? Is this a popcorn flick, or is there something more at work?
Had it not been for Wimmer's attachment to this, it would fly completely under my radar. Since no one knows who the hell Wimmer is, I have a feeling you'll see this movie fly under everyone's radar, and relegate Wimmer to lo-budget for the rest of his career. Look for this movie to unfortunately tank next weekend.
OK I Hate Her.
Meredith Grey.
Ellen Pompeo, the actress who plays her did an interview with TvGuide's David Keeps. She spoke about why she gave up her movie career for the small screen, the main reason being she wanted to play a strong female character. OK, "seriously," (the cast says seriously about 20 times in every episode, is it just me?) Meredith Grey is super annoying, emaciated and completely self-involved. Many of you share the same sentiment on message boards. Her pining over Dr. McDreamy and sleeping with whoever and whenever makes me want to pull a Plath, roasting my head in an oven. And now she slept with O'Malley!!! O'Malley. I hope Shonda Rimes and the rest of the writers give her a life because I am very close to being over this show.
Fazer on Films: Beverly Hills Cop I and II
Ah the '80s, the hair was big, the music was loud, and the action movie was not holding back. This decade was also the decade that introduced the world to Eddie Murphy, probably one of the most influential black comedians/movie stars ever. It is insane the number of people Eddie gave a start to just because he liked their stand up act. Here are a few you might recognize: Chris Rock (beverly hills cop I), Damon Wayans (beverly hills cop II), Arsenio Hall (coming to america), bronson pinchot (beverly hills cop I), and more recently Dave Chappelle (the nutty professor). Eddie had already hit it big with 48 hours, but when Beverly Hills Cop hit he entered a new realm of stardom.
BHC was a pretty fantastic achievement. The movie constantly managed the huge onscreen persona of Eddie within the movie. Martin Brest, the director, managed to setup a legitimate structure to the movie and gave Murphy 3-4 playground scenes to just go at it and let loose. The movie is no directorial showpiece, but it mixed decent action with great comedy and some good characters. Any fans of the BHC series know and love Billy Rosewood and John Taggert. Those two characters themselves could have carried a movie, but they made for great foils for the wisecracking Axel Foley. Of course, Judge Reinhold was genius as always in his portrayal of a goofy white guy not quite with the situation. One of my favorite scenes in the entire movie is when Foley breaks into the customs holding department and at the drop of a dime puts on the "inspector routine", which you know had to be improvised, and totally kills it..."How can a black man, dressed like me, just walk right in here and start snooping around?" Also, you gotta give a mad shout out for the music in the entire series. Obviously the "Axel F theme" is something of legend (and my cellphone ringtone), but then there was "the heat is on", "shakedown", "nasty girl", etc.
BHC II directed by Tony Scott took a more action approach to the series, but definitely did not skimp on the comedy. People accuse of Tony Scott of being very edit happy in his work, but his earlier stuff was pretty serviceable. There were some nicely shot robbery scenes in this movie, but when it came to the comedy aspects he once again just stepped back and kept the camera on Eddie. A whole multitude of scenes exist in this movie as well with one of my favorites being eddie getting the construction workers to stop renovation on the house..."weren't you at the meeting? You didnt get the new plans? They dont want any 90 degree angles in this house!" One thing I really enjoyed in this movie was how they advanced on the Rosewood, Taggart, Foley relationship. They established something great in part 1 and it was nice to see it being built upon.
All in all, Beverly Hills Cop I and II stand as landmark action/comedy pieces. They were big hits early on for Simpson/Bruckheimer and I feel you can see the influence of these two movies on a lot of the future projects coming from those two producers. In general, it sort of jumpstarted the whole Adult action comedy genre and really hasn't been emulated too well in the 20 plus years that followed.
Fox Fights Back!
With the recent combination of Warner Bros. and CBS corps creating the CW network, Fox has followed in the same step. Rupert Murdoch and company have made plans to create My Network TV. It will start in the late summer with English-versions of the popular telenovelas in the Latin community.
Because of the CW network birth, many Fox stations carrying UPN shows were left with blank schedules. So Fox fought back with this network carrying sassy, sexy, sensational dramas broadcasted 2 hours a day, 6 times a week. News Corp. President Peter Chernin said, "The whole feel of My Network TV will be different than anything else that's on broadcast television today."
This new network will probably kill a lot of the CW ratings who is expected to get a lot of the hard to reach young-adult demographic with shows like Smallville, Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars.
Because of the CW network birth, many Fox stations carrying UPN shows were left with blank schedules. So Fox fought back with this network carrying sassy, sexy, sensational dramas broadcasted 2 hours a day, 6 times a week. News Corp. President Peter Chernin said, "The whole feel of My Network TV will be different than anything else that's on broadcast television today."
This new network will probably kill a lot of the CW ratings who is expected to get a lot of the hard to reach young-adult demographic with shows like Smallville, Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars.
Show to debut on Itunes
Surprisingly it is NBC that is breaking boundaries here. Some generic looking crime drama, Conviction, is the first show to debut on Itunes before it's series premiere. This is a pretty bold way to push a show, and I sincerely hope it catches on. People who would have never heard of this show have probably already watched it..all in all, a big plus for NBC and hopefully a sign of things to come.
It's not to say that I don't think that the Itunes structure can suceed, it's just that anything to drum up support that is out of the ordinary is cool to me, and if it involves alternate distribution, even better.
It's not to say that I don't think that the Itunes structure can suceed, it's just that anything to drum up support that is out of the ordinary is cool to me, and if it involves alternate distribution, even better.
Slow news day..
Since it is not my goal to be an all encompassing news site..just to post shit that I (or my staff) find interesting or at least have an opinion about..I have found myself with something of a problem these last couple days..nothin to talk about. In lieu of that, It's about time for a self serving site update.
I've doubled the blog staff..at the very least we will have a constant stream of content. Welcome to all the new folks...even though the only new one I think we have heard from is Sarah.
The podcast is far from dead..just concentrating here at the moment.
I'll be making my return to the theater..we'll I saw Hostel there but i'd like to forget that... Anyway, I'll be seeing Ultraviolet this weekend, so you'll have your first theatrical Justin fixes the movies Column.
Catching up with some TV shows at the moment. Finished the wonderful second season of Entourage, going to start working on the entire run of the US office..and maybe even Battlestar.
The above picture is actually an SOS. Pictured here is "head of blog staff" and podcast co-host Canadian Jake and one of our new writers Andrew. If anyone has seen Jake, please contact stealing cable immediately.
Have a good day..hopefully something interesting will happen tomorrow.
Friday the 13th: Jason Begins news
Well the rumor mill at Bloody Disgusting is telling me that they guy that has been chosen to direct the return of our beloved Jason is the same guy responsible for Darkness falls and the up coming Texas Chainsaw prequel. One Jonathan Liebesman. Hmm. The pedigree at work here as you can see is not very great..but at least Darkness Falls wasn't really his fault. I don't remember direction as that big of a problem. I'll reserve judgement until we see TCM0.
Ebay auction wins at life
If I wasn't completely broke, I'd be all over the greatest auction of all time..a copy of Dr. Tobias Funke's book. If you don't know what this is from, never visit the site again.
PSP Homebrew Update
In news that warms my heart, Fanjita and Ditlew have released their latest Grand Theft Auto E-Loader for the PSP. For those not in the know, this was previously the only way for 2.01+ firmware users to load homebrew, and was hampered by low support for previously released software. Now, with this new unified program, the support increases to a great degree the quantity of available homebrew and fixes a number of problems with the old. I can't wait to load it up on my own system and not worry about upgrading firmware..that is until the heavily rumored 3.0 firmware graces us with GPS and email capabilities, all the while giving a backdoor patch for the GTA exploit. Enjoy it while it lasts folks, and kudos to the Fanjita/Ditlew conglomerate for this excellent software.
Biggest podcast in the world!?...its not us
So I have come in on the tail end of Ricky Gervais, Steven Merchant, and Karl Pilkington's 12 week run of podcasts. I am sure many have heard the news releases about it being the most downloaded in the world and rightfully so. For about 30 minutes you get 3 very funny guys just talking about whatever is on their mind (sound familiar!!!). Gervais and Merchant are funny, but the real discovery in this show is Karl Pilkington apparently some old friend/producer from Gervais' radio days (pre- The Office). This guy is genius. His diary, his monkey news bits, etc. Some highly hilarious stuff from him. He is getting the biggest laughs.
Anyway, I suggest checking it out. www.rickygervais.com And you can find the last 5 episodes on itunes.
Sin City 2 Backburned..
According to Bloody-Disgusting, sequel to kick-ass Sin City has been pushed back nearly an entire year to Summer 07 in favor of working on Tarantino collaborado Grindhouse. I guess my hoping that he could juggle both wasn't enough to make it come true. That said, any non Spy Kidsesque ROBROD is better than no ROBROD..and it wasn't as if we weren't looking forward to Grind(House?) as it were.
New Rules: Handheld Gaming
Joystiq has the beginnings of a great piece on how to make a great handheld, and details how the missteps of both companies have failed to yield a clear victor, and that perhaps they are even selling to two completely different markets. Basically, they go on to say that whoever makes for the best core gaming experience will be the true winner of the first REAL portable war since the days of Game Gear.
This goes back to my thoughts on Nintendo's DS Browser..they should continue to concentrate on innovative and fun games. Sony needs to concentrate on games period, the devices multimedia functions should have always come second. That said, if this post is to be believed, the PSP is indeed selling at a slightly faster rate than it's DS competitor.
News with a Purpose?
Recently, I went on a field trip for a class to the duopoly studios of KCAL/KCBS in
My classmates and I met in the board room where the top level management of KCBS2/KCAL9-Los Angeles have their meetings. Everyone was talking about the WB/UPN merger (UPN13-Los Angeles is going independent) and how this is a threat to KCAL9 because it will not be the only independent station not subject to broadcast network requirements. We met the General Manager, News Director, and Sales Director. The president Don Corsini was away in
She comes in
Then we got a tour of the studios, which wasn’t all that interesting, except for the fact that all the cameras are automatic and there is no need of humans. We met some of the anchors: Laura Diaz, Paul Magers, and David Jackson. Nice people with a lot of foundation on their faces. The set directors are probably the most insane people I have ever encountered. They look at about 50 TV sets and cue how long segments need to be and commercial breaks, and I don’t even know what else and this is all live by the way. It was exhausting just to write the latter sentence. I cannot even give justice to how stressful this job looked. It was like watching an octopus do something with all eight of its tentacles at once.
I could go on but there is just too much to write. Maybe some other time. Thanks for reading.
Justin Fixes the Accessories: XBOX 360 Harmony Remote
What the hell could possibly make a remote worth 129 dollars? Well, let me preface this by saying that 129 is at the LOW end of the Harmony remote line, and as such, I was curious and hesitant as well. I finally broke down and bought one, and here's how it stacks up.
What's right:
I have a hellishly complicated setup, and any cheaper all in one remotes would have severe difficulty controlling my cable box, and off brand audio system, not to mention the constant switching on the remote to set inputs/etc. This remote fixes that by using what are called macros, for example, I push a button that says PLAY XBOX 360 and it will turn on the TV, turn on the XBOX, turn on my audio system, and after waiting a few seconds for the television and audio system to full boot up, set the correct input for both. If I decide I'm finished with the games and would like to watch a show on my DVR, I press the button that says WATCH DVR, and the remote, remembering what was already on and where everything is set, will make all necessary adjustments (XBOX off, audio input changed, TV input changed) in a single press. While I am in DVR mode, the remote knows to use my audio system for volume controls and all without having to change "input" modes on the remote. This is frickin wonderous, considering I always had to use a minimum of four remotes to control my system before, and no 20 dollar Wal Mart remote could have fixed that.
What's wrong: This thing could be pretty daunting to program for someone that isn't technically proficient. Even with the high number of buttons, there are still some missing from my cable box/DVR remote. The fix for this is the ability to program individual buttons, but they aren't labeled(unless you use one of your precious 4 LCD hotkey spaces), and again could cause problems for someone not familiar with the remote. My cheapo off brand audio system was not fully supported in the database, but they even thought of a wonderful fix for this. During programming, if a function is missing, you can choose a button to map it to, and simply point the old remote at the Harmony, and the Harmony will learn the command. Since I am technically proficient, and was able to program this remote to perfection, the only thing that keeps it from a perfect rating is that some of the buttons are laid out weird, for example when you mean to press OK it is easy to press DOWN by accident. Also, the feel of the buttons is off, especially if you are used to a DVR/ all in one remote. Out of the box remote users won't notice as much of a difference.
Overall, this gets pretty damn close to my highest recommendation, and if you have a complicated setup, this is the way to go. Even if you don't have a game console, I highly recommend any of their other models. If you do have a 360, there's a decent and relatively low requirement 20 dollar rebate involved. 9.3/10 Purchase one of deez !
Justin Fixes The Movies: My Big Fat Independent Movie
Film Critic Chris Gore is the man behind the curtain for this trip.
10 minutes into this movie, I was ready to come on here and say the only way to fix this would be to go back in time and steer Chris Gore toward another vocation, however, I decided to stick with it. Truth is, I did laugh a few times, but there is a lot wrong here, and especially punctuated considering that a FILM CRITIC is behind this.
-The biggest problem here by far is that comedy should not be so over the top and blatant. A little subtlety would have gone a long way, especially in this type of movie. Within a few minutes, you have the premise beat over your head..and it never stops. Airplane was the last flick to get the parody formula right.
-It's clear to me that the jokes were written, the list of movies to spoof were written, and THEN and only after all that, a script was written to piece it all together. You can't do a movie like that. This is so obviously a bunch of bits thinly strung together.
-I'll excuse bad acting because of the nature of the film. The Sam Jackson character was actually pretty funny, and some of the cameos were not bad.
-God help you if you aren't' familiar with some of the movies being lampooned. Well, I suppose if you are renting this, you probably aren't a summer blockbuster type of person, so strike this one from the book.
Overall, don't waste your time. As of writing, the IMBD score at 3.5 is a little generous. 2/10
Hey Now
Radio god and driving force behind my inspirado Howard Stern will soon be streaming..in a legitimate fashion..Over the internet. This is no news to daily listeners, Stern has said many times that a solution was in the works, but the first official word from the Sirius Satellite Radio company. Since my daily workaround (see, if you don't live in a big city, you likely can't get reception inside a house) was to turn the Sirius unit on in my car and use long distance FM modulation, this is great news for me. I wonder how many people driving by got a taste of the show over the last month from my radio.
Have a good weekend folks.
Stealing Cable comes alive!!!
Geez, we are posting a lot of stuff on this site. Its like a real website and shit...even if its mostly Justin posting. I would also like to extend a formal greeting to one of our long time fans and now fellow blogger Sarah. Good post on Nielsen's. But really who cares about public broadcasting? I sure as hell don't...unless they show boobs...but if they did they wouldnt really have to worry about ratings would they?
Pilotwatch 06: Seth Mcfarlane's "Becoming Glen"
AICN has an admitted McFarlane hater calling "Becoming Glen" the "worst pilot of all time." While I'd rather hear a less biased viewpoint, I have also seen American Dad and the damage McFarlane can do with less than A material. Granted, this was only a script read, and I imagine that doesn't help. Imagine reading a Family Guy script..nothing would come through, just because of how absurd it is. As it is, I await more on this with baited breath..and honestly wish him the best, because Scrubs is lonely on the good network comedy shelf.
Woke Up this Mornin'
Oh Snap! The king is coming back to let everyone know who is boss. I have a feeling that in a few short weeks, I'll be even more ashamed that I spent a lot of 2005 watching trite-wannabees Desperate Housewives and CSI. The real ensemble drama comes back March 12 to own your soul.
Knowing Nielsen
For even the most addicted TV fan out there, the Nielsen rating system is somewhat of an enigma. I'd like to shed some light on it and maybe we can gain a greater understanding of why shows like Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks and the likes get cancelled because of deplorable ratings.
The Nielsen Media Research company was founded by Arthur C. Nielsen in 1923 because of a heavily growing radio broadcasting and advertising industry. In the 1950s, the birth of TV broadened the horizons of Nielsen and to this day remains the official measurement service of what people are watching on their TV sets. Advertisers, broadcast, cable and satellite networks all pay exuberant amounts of money for Nielsen's service; partly because they need to know the programs and commericals people are watching but more because there is no other alternative to Nielsen in the market.
There are a couple of ways that Nielsen measures TV usage. These statistics are all based on a sampling of a larger population. A 5,000 household sample is used to represent what all of America is watching. The first of which is measuring TV sets. A "black box" like a modem is connected to all of the television equipment a person owns, VCR, DVD player etc. and silently measures exactly what that household is watching and calls it in to Nielsen's central computers in the middle of the night. The latest renovation to the service is the "people meter," which measures what an invidivdual person's TV usage is in a particular household. This is done by punching in when you are in front of your TV so Nielsen knows exactly who is watching. This method has unfortunately cut the ratings of broadcast stations such as KCET in half because the previous Diary method had people writing out what they saw in a week's time rather then having them punch in. Many times people would write out that they saw a show from start to finish when they did not. So the "people meter" method is cutting ratings for networks. The households that are chosen to become Nielsen homes are selected at random from different socio-economic backgrounds and ethnicities. Stations such as Telemundo can request more Latino samples and Nielsen has made accommodations like this in the past.
Nielsen ratings are the livelihood of programmers and advertisers. They are used like currency in the marketplace. When advertisers want to sell a product, they must find a show that is getting high ratings and is catering to an audience that will buy their client's product. So they will be willing to pay more for a spot that fits the latter requirements and the sellers of the spots can charge accordingly.
In regards to our favorite shows, programmers cannot produce shows that are not getting the ratings because they are not gaining anything from it. So even if 4 million loyal viewers are tuning in every week, that may not be enough to satisfy what a programmer needs to stay afloat.
We are at the threshold of big changes. With the promise of digitalization in 2009, there will be exuberant amounts of channels, further segmenting a market to the point where ratings on a program will be minuscule in comparison to the present. With the use of TiVo's/DVRs, people are watching TV when they want to and forwarding through commercials. And of course, there is the option of downloading shows; legally of course. There are so many other innovations in the works. Will Nielsen be willing to continue innovating its product to keep up with the changing of times or will it monopolize the market so there is no incentive to fix their product?
Surface...sunk
Thanks to the Sci Fi channel reruns and a total lack of tv on Mondays, I was able to follow NBC's Surface from beginning to end. Let me start out by saying, this show's pedigree was more exciting than the show itself turned out to be. Josh and Jonas Pate were behind one of my all time fave series (which of course got cut short) G vs. E aka Good Vs. Evil. Great show, far ahead of its time, needs to be on Dvd, etc. etc. They later did the new Dragnet show with Al Bundy and then as far as i know got the idea for Surface.
I won't bore you guys by going into the details of the show, but needless to say it took a radical turn about 3/4ths of the way through. It was an interesting turn going with the all knowing "company" with some super genetic agenda in hand, but it was executed quite poorly. The main characters became annoying rather than more interesting...and as for the kid, Miles, I hope he never works again. He is one of the worst actors I have ever seen and his face bothers me. To top it all off, the ending to the show was complete crap. There was no closure whatsoever (something promised by NBC execs). I doubt NBC will be bringing it back based on its ratings, but there are a lot of cool ideas that were just touched upon i.e. new age Noah's ark, Ra's Al Ghul-esque plan to restart life, etc. And those are just my theories on where they were going with the show.
Oh well. Long story short, if you are a scifi geek you will probably enjoy surface as a rental when it is inevitably released on DVD (all crap TV ends up on DVD, but why oh why is G vs. E still not on disc yet!?).
Justin Fixes The Movies: The Weather Man
This column is going to be more difficult to write than I thought, because it has been a while since I've seen a movie that came so close to getting it right. The problem is that I can't put my finger on exactly what was wrong.
-The performances were great. Even the kids weren't annoying.
-The storyline, characters, and plot were all great.
-The mood, direction, and visual style of the film were great.
Here's the thing. This movie gets very damn close to my highest recommendation, but I must say it's pretty depressing. The only flaw that I can even describe is that the backstory of the family isn't quite as fleshed out as it could be, but this isn't the reason I wouldn't consider this movie an instant classic. Watch it anyway, maybe you can figure it out, and it's much better than most everything coming out right now.
Next Week, I'll be fixing The Ice Harvest, as well as a classic title from my massive back catalog. By classic, I mean something like the Evil Dead, not classic like Clark Gable. I may even implement a ratings system on these reviews.
In the meantime, enjoy the slew of new staff on the blog side here, and hey..subscribe to the feed! I've got all those options for you, you lazy prick.
UMD Movies Failing..
But who didn't see that coming? Listen, releasing a format that is ostensibly a backwards step and then not making it compatible with any other machine, and probably biggest of all, not providing a legitimate way to watch said movies on a TV will completely kill a format. The only one that I have is the one that came with the PSP, and until they bring out those bundled dvd/umd packs on the cheap, it'll probably stay that way. Of course Sony is blaming piracy, but lets face it..it's pure lack of strategy and forethought at work here.
via Engadget.
The Olympics: Bane of Those Without TIVO
I'm probally the only person under 65 who doesn't like the Olympics.
Why?
Pre-emption.
Now, I can understand 'Grey's Anatomy' running a little late because of the Super Bowl. I can understand going over for the 'State of the Union.' Those are one time, single use events.
What I cannot understand, what I cannot stand, is weeks upon weeks of having to stay up until two in the morning to watch Conan O'Brien. He's going to Finland--He's going to Finland--and I can't see it because I have to be up at a somewhat normal hour.
Also, the Olympics go on for so long. Yes, I understand, U.S.A., U.S.A., let's all be fans of Apolo and Bodie (I always want to spell his name like the bank-robbing surfer) and Michelle (scratch that last one) for six weeks or however long I have to miss 'The Office' for, and then forget about 'em for another four years.
Scrubs. The West Wing. The Office. S.V.U. The Law and Order mothership, a modern American institution if there ever was one. Why hath NBC forsaken thee?
About the only thing that would make it worse is if they only ran 'Crossing Jordan' when they needed to fill time.
Why?
Pre-emption.
Now, I can understand 'Grey's Anatomy' running a little late because of the Super Bowl. I can understand going over for the 'State of the Union.' Those are one time, single use events.
What I cannot understand, what I cannot stand, is weeks upon weeks of having to stay up until two in the morning to watch Conan O'Brien. He's going to Finland--He's going to Finland--and I can't see it because I have to be up at a somewhat normal hour.
Also, the Olympics go on for so long. Yes, I understand, U.S.A., U.S.A., let's all be fans of Apolo and Bodie (I always want to spell his name like the bank-robbing surfer) and Michelle (scratch that last one) for six weeks or however long I have to miss 'The Office' for, and then forget about 'em for another four years.
Scrubs. The West Wing. The Office. S.V.U. The Law and Order mothership, a modern American institution if there ever was one. Why hath NBC forsaken thee?
About the only thing that would make it worse is if they only ran 'Crossing Jordan' when they needed to fill time.
Stephen Colbert is my Hero.
I'd like to chime in here about the apple of my eye, Stephen Colbert on "The Colbert Report." He is probably one of the most ground-breaking, truth inducing, anchor/broadcast journalists out there; watch out Paul Magers. "The Colbert Report" is an ongoing mockery of conservative broadcast news networks, i.e. FOX. I really cannot go through a day in which I do not inundate myself in his "truthiness." His gesticulations are Emmy-worthy in and of itself. His bit on "Better Know a District" is the most entertaining 2mins and 30secs of television in the history of all satire television. Ok, I did not really sit in front of my TiVo and time it but my mind can elude me and time passes much to fast when you are watching SC push the rims of his glasses a little higher. You may be thinking, I am inflating SC's already gi-normous ego. Well, he deserves it. Check out comedycentral.com, if you know what's good for you, you'll be able to catch up with missed episodes. I am hoping this piece gets me on "Tip of the Hat."
The Bauer Identity
Hilarious up and coming photoshoppers ROFLBOX proposes that Jack Bauer be in every movie, and give some examples of what these movies would look like. I fully support said proposal.
Dr. Boll is pissed off
This guy just doesn't know when to quit. I don't mean quit making movies, because of whatever deal with Satan that this man has, that will never come to pass. Eurogamer has an interview with the Dr., in which in typical Boll fashion, responds to internet criticism and bad vibes in general. This interview rivals his infamous letter, and is a hilarious read. Hear Boll describe the importance and depth of his next surefire hit, Postal. Read his logic and how he deludes himself into thinking that his work is great. Find out where the blame lies when something fails. Hint: It's not his fault! Enjoy.
Ultraviolet UPDATE: See this movie
The awesome JoBlo has an exclusive clip from the movie Ultraviolet. This one somehow flew completely under my radar, but this Kill Bill-esque trailer kinda has me interested. Hey, at the very least, this one looks to be a fun watch if it's paced well. Swords and things of that nature=good.
UPDATE: How the hell did I miss this one..Kurt Effing Wimmer of "Equilbrium" fame wrote and directed this. See you at the cineplex.
Mo' Better Batman
Courtesy Batman-On-Film.
Tons of rumors flying about casting for the not yet official sequel to my favorite movie of 2005. These are probably baseless rumors, but I figure I'd not only join in on passing this suspect information along, but put out my fantasy cast for the far away sequel. Disclaimer: This is the blind rant of a fanboy and has no basis in fact.
The Joker: Probably the only sure bet as to who we can expect from the rogues gallery. The name being floated? Mr. Jennifer Connelly. Who I want? Crispin Glover or Michael Keaton.
Harley Quinn: A natural fit with the joker, not been attempted on the big screen. The name being floated? Emily Watson. Who I Want? Juliette Lewis.
Harvey Dent: Name being floated? Donnie Darko. Who I want? Billy Dee!! Actually, I want Bruce Campbell. Ok, Actually I want John Travolta. It's revival time.
Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin: Name being floated? Was Bob Hoskins, now unknown. Actually I think this character is a bit over the top to be considered for the current franchise, but if I had to pick, it has to be..actually I don't care, and I hope this jackass isn't in the movie. I'd rather see Killer Croc.
All Whedon, All the Time..
JoBlo's Sturdy http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifwhy Hollywood doesn't devote an entire studio and budget to producing from the mind of Joss. He also goes on to cite specific movies he would love to see, including a Buffy/Angel movie.
It is strange to see someone who a few years back had three excellent shows on television and has gone down to zero. Sure, he's hit the bigtime now with Wonder Woman (BECKINSALE), but will he return to TV, or better yet, should he? Wait and see. The success or failure of Wonder Woman will pretty much elevate him into the stratosphere of Raimi or damn him to the halls of the CW channel for the rest of his career. Newsflash? We win either way folks.
(T-Shirt available here at Think Geek.)
Itunes adds Comedy
via The Unofficial Apple Weblog.
I'm not 100 percent, but I had thought that it was always there. Anyways, they have an exess of shit comics (blue collar) and a severe lack of my favorites, such as Florentine, Bob Levy, etc. At least Bill Hicks is up. Hey I hear we have a podcast available on there...
Nintendo is back..
..and this time it's personal.
Engadget has released their Nintendo branded fan blog "Revolution Fanboy" for the entire world to check out.
Isn't it amazing that after losing 2 successive console generations and misstep after misstep, delay after delay, Nintendo has been polled to have garnered the most interest in their next-gen offering? Hell, even I'm more interested in this than the other two major players.
Let's break that down.
The 16 bit era was owned by Nintendo. Pwned by Nintendo. The Super NES was arguably the greatest console of our time, and has quite a few titles that are still fun to go back to today. How could they possibly mess this up? Let's stick with the outdated cartridge format.
Everything else was in place for them to ride on name recognition alone..the more powerful processor than the new kid in town, Sega's fall to obscurity, and a first rate first party slate. Then Final Fantasy 7 came out and showed us what can be done with CDs and a new target audience. While we were left with the wonderful (and last great launch title) Super Mario 64 and of course Goldeneye, the N64 ultimately proved to be a failure.
Flash forward to the 2000 generation. Nintendo's old rival Sega has disappeared completely from the console market, and the big N is dumbfounded when the new guy comes in and lays the smack down. Instead of joining them and working toward regaining market share, Nintendo slips up again. They decide on a proprietary format for their new console, and don't really try to shake the kiddy image until it is too late. The Gamecube would end up a distant third to Sony's second Playstation and Microsoft's freshman foray into console videogames. Nintendo really drops the ball with a Mario-less launch, and when the old stalwart finally shows, his game sucks. Again some true classics..well one that I can think of, the Wind Waker, but Nintendo would likely have gone under if it weren't for their perennially high selling game boy and subsequent DS.
Here we are today, and Nintendo is doing their trademark secret thing. All we have is the ultra innovative controller (which could be a handicap for ports and traditional gaming), and the massive promise of access to Nintendo's massive back catalog of games. Somehow, that is enough. I am ready to put money down the day pre-orders go up, and I don't think I am alone. Perhaps Nintendo is about to take back it's damn house.
DS Gets Browser, TV Tuner
Courtesy Engadget.
This was apparently the big secret that was yet to be revealed for Nintendo's DS system..a web browser and a TV tuner. Am I the only one who thinks it's counterintuitive to do either on a handheld console? Not to mention Sony beat them to the punch with the browser and Sega beat them to the punch with the Game Gear TV tuner.
I happen to own both of the current gen portable systems, and outside of homebrew, I play the DS more far and away. Why? Well Mario Kart mostly, but because it has always been Nintendo's big thing to concentrate on games. The new DS Lite, while par for the course of redesigning their systems, and these new add ons, make me wonder if that is about to change.
Firefly Returns? UPDATE: Probably not..
I've been jerked around too much in the Whedonverse to think this is much more than reading too far into something combined with wishful thinking..but a glimmer of hope exists.
E's Kristin, in her weekly chat here(scroll to the bottom) says that Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, and Summer Glau were seen walking out of what will be the office for the new CW network. Kristin goes on to screw with my emotions by saying she hears that they are looking into bringing the show back as a TV Movie, Mini Series, or a full return of the show. Gadzooks. Here's to hoping.
UPDATE: Joss Whedon crushes this one himself. :(
Veronica Benched
Courtesy The Futon Critic, UPN will be benching Veronica Mars for the next three weeks/sweeps and instead opt to show repeats. The ratings have been pretty dismal without the America's Next Top Model lead in.
Not sure how to read this one. Perhaps it's better for the show to air it's A material at a time when ratings matter a little less, but it is also damaging to those that are still tuning in every week, never knowing when we'll catch a new episode.
With the CW coming later this year, I had always kind of assumed that this would be a flagship show. Perhaps it's in more danger than I had thought.
Stealing Cable 1.9
Heyoo, you probably noticed some slight differences. It really feels like a new house in here, without any furniture. With the template up and ready to go, I'll work on bringing that stuff in. What you have to look forward to? Massive increase in quantity and scope of content..check. Advances in ease of use to get you said content? Check. Super secret surprise? Check. This is the largets step towards the new "full site" that I've ever done, and I know it looks bare now, but you will like it once the cards fall. I will be working on a new logo to replace our Itunes logo above, as well as go about collecting all of the syndication links so that this page doesn't read like a text file. Finally I will be substantially adding to the link roll, and bringing back the recent posts. I just have a hell of a time getting reacquainted with HTML after falling back on the blogger generic templates for so long. So enjoy the new stream of content, and look forward to a few more cool things to come.
Silent Hill/HHE Remake Pics
Silent Hill Pics Here.
Wow, it seems like they just may be doing Silent Hill right. If they understand that it is all about atmosphere and not action, we may have a winner and a franchise on our hands.
Hills Have Eyes Pics Here.
I'm still on the fence with this one. The Director, Alejandro Aja, who was behind the fantastic High Tension, has me excited. The source material and some of the choices in actors, not so much.
Sources: Bloody Disgusting, JoBlo, Blairwitch.de.
Friday the 13th Part 0
Could our boy Jason be getting the Batman Begins treatment?
Turns out a new Friday the 13th movie is being fast tracked to be released this October 13th, and is being handled by the people that made the decent (and better than the way overrated OG) Texas Chainsaw remake. Color me interested.
Be it the sensless brutal death scenes or over the top camp, Jason has made his way to the top of the (non Bruce Campbell) horror heap for me. Hopefully this will reinvigorate the genre damage done by 10 years of Williamson and knock some sense into Eli Roth, who by the way is officially off the "free pass" list after the shit Hostel and his upcoming Baywatch pic.
Source: Bloody Disgusting
EDIT: Found more on the story at JoBlo here and the news that Chud.com's own Smilin Jack Ruby is writing the script! This gives me a sense of personal vested interest and fast tracked this flick to becoming the top of my most wanted list for the year..yes, even including Grindhouse and Sin City 2. Assuming his script makes it through the studio process, good luck man, I know you'll kick ass.
Turns out a new Friday the 13th movie is being fast tracked to be released this October 13th, and is being handled by the people that made the decent (and better than the way overrated OG) Texas Chainsaw remake. Color me interested.
Be it the sensless brutal death scenes or over the top camp, Jason has made his way to the top of the (non Bruce Campbell) horror heap for me. Hopefully this will reinvigorate the genre damage done by 10 years of Williamson and knock some sense into Eli Roth, who by the way is officially off the "free pass" list after the shit Hostel and his upcoming Baywatch pic.
Source: Bloody Disgusting
EDIT: Found more on the story at JoBlo here and the news that Chud.com's own Smilin Jack Ruby is writing the script! This gives me a sense of personal vested interest and fast tracked this flick to becoming the top of my most wanted list for the year..yes, even including Grindhouse and Sin City 2. Assuming his script makes it through the studio process, good luck man, I know you'll kick ass.
Early Look at Fall 2006 Pilots
Link embedded in title.
Ain't it Cool News has an early look at some of the 2006 TV pilots floating around. These actually have me more interested than any did last year, but as we all know, it is likely that 1 one of these at most will make it to air and has even less chance of survival in the front loaded ratings world.
Surprisingly, they are still going high concept, even after 2005's genre slate was more or less a huge failure.
One, called Jericho, is a post apocalyptic nuclear war type show that seems to be more about the character's reactions to what is happening than the action itself..which sound great to me. Even better, perenial teenage girl's bookshelf occupier Steven Chbosky is behind it. I always look forward to stuff like this, but this has critical darling poor ratings written all over it. If this even makes it to air, it won't be around at the end of the year.
Second, we have Heroes, a genre show about super human evolution. It looks like a 4400 season 1 type scenario, with a freak of the week, tied together by an overarching plot. This one has ratings potential if marketed right, and the guy reporting to AICN gives it a sure bet rating of making it to air, so look out for this one.
Third, we have a drama entitled "A House Divided," a show about a red state leaving the union after a liberal president gets elected. Apparently the pilot gets deeper than that and raises some good questions, but I don't see this having much gas to go on with the story line outside of a movie event or a miniseries. That said, the absense of West Wing this fall will leave a huge hole for a political drama, and commander in chief isn't filling it anytime soon.
Finally, we have the greatest pilot in the history of all time, "untitled zombie project" in which, and I paraphrase, "The first 15 minutes of 2004 Dawn of the Dead.. is stretched across an hour." The first tension filled 15 minutes of that movie were awesome, I love zombies, and I am ranting like a mad fanboy now. How could they possibly ruin my parade? Oh, Kevin Williamson, responsible for the great horror movie depression that has gone on from the first Scream and continues to haunt us today, is responsible for this one. Interesting, and I'd probably still watch, but the AICN guy pegs this as having not a chance in hell of making it to air. Fair enough.
Anyways, check out the link for more info.
Ain't it Cool News has an early look at some of the 2006 TV pilots floating around. These actually have me more interested than any did last year, but as we all know, it is likely that 1 one of these at most will make it to air and has even less chance of survival in the front loaded ratings world.
Surprisingly, they are still going high concept, even after 2005's genre slate was more or less a huge failure.
One, called Jericho, is a post apocalyptic nuclear war type show that seems to be more about the character's reactions to what is happening than the action itself..which sound great to me. Even better, perenial teenage girl's bookshelf occupier Steven Chbosky is behind it. I always look forward to stuff like this, but this has critical darling poor ratings written all over it. If this even makes it to air, it won't be around at the end of the year.
Second, we have Heroes, a genre show about super human evolution. It looks like a 4400 season 1 type scenario, with a freak of the week, tied together by an overarching plot. This one has ratings potential if marketed right, and the guy reporting to AICN gives it a sure bet rating of making it to air, so look out for this one.
Third, we have a drama entitled "A House Divided," a show about a red state leaving the union after a liberal president gets elected. Apparently the pilot gets deeper than that and raises some good questions, but I don't see this having much gas to go on with the story line outside of a movie event or a miniseries. That said, the absense of West Wing this fall will leave a huge hole for a political drama, and commander in chief isn't filling it anytime soon.
Finally, we have the greatest pilot in the history of all time, "untitled zombie project" in which, and I paraphrase, "The first 15 minutes of 2004 Dawn of the Dead.. is stretched across an hour." The first tension filled 15 minutes of that movie were awesome, I love zombies, and I am ranting like a mad fanboy now. How could they possibly ruin my parade? Oh, Kevin Williamson, responsible for the great horror movie depression that has gone on from the first Scream and continues to haunt us today, is responsible for this one. Interesting, and I'd probably still watch, but the AICN guy pegs this as having not a chance in hell of making it to air. Fair enough.
Anyways, check out the link for more info.
The pinnacle of video games
Retro Gamer (link embedded in post title above) takes a look back at each console from the Atari to the Sega CD and discusses which games, in his opinion, really made the most out of their respective console's potential.
A really interesting read, and not some fanboy rant (read: he actually details processes used to stretch console power to the limits).
With quite a bit of media attention focused on the "stratification" of gamers, between the state of the art gamers and the newfound love for classic titles and gameplay, be it over Xbox live arcade, the upcoming Revolution's massive back catalog, or PSP emulation homebrew, this begs the question of whether or not something like this would be good for the industry.
It amazes me that it has taken so long for the idea to take hold that the best graphics and sound can't hold a candle to engrossing and downright fun gameplay. If this newfound interest spurs the so called next-gen developers to slow down and take a look at how fun this game is to play instead of how pretty it is to look at, great, but what if this does lead to a new two tiered videogame culture? Newsflash..it already does. Whether it be the immensely popular gameboy or even those 20 dollar controllers you hook directly into your tv, the casual gamer has been around and kicking for a long time. All this new media focus will do is bring these stragglers around to the big boys..which means more money to Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo..which hopefully means more money thrown into the service and experience, making it better for everyone. Casual folks, bring it on.
A really interesting read, and not some fanboy rant (read: he actually details processes used to stretch console power to the limits).
With quite a bit of media attention focused on the "stratification" of gamers, between the state of the art gamers and the newfound love for classic titles and gameplay, be it over Xbox live arcade, the upcoming Revolution's massive back catalog, or PSP emulation homebrew, this begs the question of whether or not something like this would be good for the industry.
It amazes me that it has taken so long for the idea to take hold that the best graphics and sound can't hold a candle to engrossing and downright fun gameplay. If this newfound interest spurs the so called next-gen developers to slow down and take a look at how fun this game is to play instead of how pretty it is to look at, great, but what if this does lead to a new two tiered videogame culture? Newsflash..it already does. Whether it be the immensely popular gameboy or even those 20 dollar controllers you hook directly into your tv, the casual gamer has been around and kicking for a long time. All this new media focus will do is bring these stragglers around to the big boys..which means more money to Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo..which hopefully means more money thrown into the service and experience, making it better for everyone. Casual folks, bring it on.
Development Arrested...
So, Fox just dumped the last 4 episodes of their truncated 13 episode order on Friday night against the olympics opening ceremony. One final insult to a show that without question is the funniest show to ever have existed. At this point, I am kind of over being pissed about the treatment this show got. Its just disappointing that Peter Ligori's promises went unfulfilled. We went from possibly getting 2 guaranteed seasons worth of episodes to getting one full to getting 13 episodes.
Before I get off the disgruntled viewer high horse I just want to say one thing. NBC made a bold move putting my name is earl and the office together and rebuilding thursday night as their comedy showcase night...guess what both of those shows are flourishing. They are doing great in the ratings. Specifically for the office, which by all intents and purposes should not be successful on American tv. No laugh track, no obvious physical comedy, no overt relationship conversation/humor, and Americans are watching!!! NBC did the same with seinfeld and it turned into SEINFELD. I really shudder to think of all the shows that Fox killed that could have gone on to something great. You would think with the massive ratings that Idol pulls in they could afford to throw a couple mill at AD and let it gain an audience with some consistent scheduling and advertising.
Anyway, Arrested Development...Mitch Hurwitz I thank you for being a genius and sharing it with us. These last four episodes were a great way to end this show. You can't say enough about the cast, writers, directors, etc. All top notch. I would say that this podcast/blog exists partially because of Justin and I's mutual love for the show. If it continues I will be more than happy, but I am more than content with the show leaving on top...even if no one noticed.
Before I get off the disgruntled viewer high horse I just want to say one thing. NBC made a bold move putting my name is earl and the office together and rebuilding thursday night as their comedy showcase night...guess what both of those shows are flourishing. They are doing great in the ratings. Specifically for the office, which by all intents and purposes should not be successful on American tv. No laugh track, no obvious physical comedy, no overt relationship conversation/humor, and Americans are watching!!! NBC did the same with seinfeld and it turned into SEINFELD. I really shudder to think of all the shows that Fox killed that could have gone on to something great. You would think with the massive ratings that Idol pulls in they could afford to throw a couple mill at AD and let it gain an audience with some consistent scheduling and advertising.
Anyway, Arrested Development...Mitch Hurwitz I thank you for being a genius and sharing it with us. These last four episodes were a great way to end this show. You can't say enough about the cast, writers, directors, etc. All top notch. I would say that this podcast/blog exists partially because of Justin and I's mutual love for the show. If it continues I will be more than happy, but I am more than content with the show leaving on top...even if no one noticed.
Arrested Development: A Eulogy.
Wow..I just finished the 2 hour (series?) finale for Arrested Development, and it has lived up to the masterful consistency the show has given us for 2 and 3/8ths seasons. They pulled no punches, and in the sad event that this show doesn't come back, we do have some closure. Things come together in ways that you would never have imagined, and only make you wonder what greatness could have been had this been allowed to have a full run. The funniest show OF ALL TIME, hands down, possibly came to an end tonight, and I hope all of you reading either got to enjoy it along with me, or will do so when the opportunity becomes available. Let's all do what we can to ensure this show finds a home somewhere else and is given the chance and backing that it deserves.
Justin Fixes the Movies Vol. 3: Saw II
This one is going to be slightly different because I have no reservations recommending this movie. This is not to say it is perfect or even great, but more worked than did not. Here goes:
-MTV Editing needs to die. Quick cuts aren't necessary to increase tension. One scene in particular involving a pit goes to show this beautifully..one of the best torture scenes I have ever seen.
-Writing yourself in a hole that can only be explained by a twist..M Night sort of started this revolution, but it has become something of a crutch. Even if the twist is pretty good (at least one part of it) as is the case here, it's kind of overplayed and you knew at least some kind of twist was coming, thus diminishing the power that could have been.
-Everyone that has been involved with 7th Heaven (except Belzer) should not be allowed to do anything else ever.
-WE have on our hands the most interesting franchise serial "killer" to be seen in a while. We also have two movies that have shown a lot of potential, but have come up short of being classic.
-Let the blood flow. This ties into quick cuts, but I know I yearn for more organic effects. I know the MPAA is probably responsible for this, but if that is the case, don't hold out on the UNCUT version for the next sequel. KNB, I know you weren't directly involved here, but allow me to rant a little on you. Let's get back to the Savini roots.
-Make the characters more than an excuse for a brutal death scene. Two of the three females in the house have slim to no backstory. We are even left to wonder what becomes of one of them after she is shown trapped..but never resolved. This is just plain sloppy. As for the rest, the only one we really have any feeling for at all is the recurring character from the first film. And for christ's sake, low budget is not an excuse for poor acting, and all of the houseguests are pretty shite in this department.
-Thumbs up for tying in the first film in such a strong fashion, and yet make it so that you don't need to have seen the first film to understand what happened here.
-Inventive death scenes are great, and the movtivation for the murders are interesting to say the least..but again, the script shouldn't revolve around them, but the other way around.
-It is hard to follow up such an odd film, but it didn't have to be this conventional. For what it is though, this is at the top of the game.
My final verdict: Saw II is great for fans of the first, and fans of non shitty horror movies in general. Perhaps a bit conventional for the Peter Jackson die hardies, and a bit off the wall for the Kevin Williamsons, this should entertain anyone in between.
Tune in next week when I fix Nic Cage in "The Weather Man."
-MTV Editing needs to die. Quick cuts aren't necessary to increase tension. One scene in particular involving a pit goes to show this beautifully..one of the best torture scenes I have ever seen.
-Writing yourself in a hole that can only be explained by a twist..M Night sort of started this revolution, but it has become something of a crutch. Even if the twist is pretty good (at least one part of it) as is the case here, it's kind of overplayed and you knew at least some kind of twist was coming, thus diminishing the power that could have been.
-Everyone that has been involved with 7th Heaven (except Belzer) should not be allowed to do anything else ever.
-WE have on our hands the most interesting franchise serial "killer" to be seen in a while. We also have two movies that have shown a lot of potential, but have come up short of being classic.
-Let the blood flow. This ties into quick cuts, but I know I yearn for more organic effects. I know the MPAA is probably responsible for this, but if that is the case, don't hold out on the UNCUT version for the next sequel. KNB, I know you weren't directly involved here, but allow me to rant a little on you. Let's get back to the Savini roots.
-Make the characters more than an excuse for a brutal death scene. Two of the three females in the house have slim to no backstory. We are even left to wonder what becomes of one of them after she is shown trapped..but never resolved. This is just plain sloppy. As for the rest, the only one we really have any feeling for at all is the recurring character from the first film. And for christ's sake, low budget is not an excuse for poor acting, and all of the houseguests are pretty shite in this department.
-Thumbs up for tying in the first film in such a strong fashion, and yet make it so that you don't need to have seen the first film to understand what happened here.
-Inventive death scenes are great, and the movtivation for the murders are interesting to say the least..but again, the script shouldn't revolve around them, but the other way around.
-It is hard to follow up such an odd film, but it didn't have to be this conventional. For what it is though, this is at the top of the game.
My final verdict: Saw II is great for fans of the first, and fans of non shitty horror movies in general. Perhaps a bit conventional for the Peter Jackson die hardies, and a bit off the wall for the Kevin Williamsons, this should entertain anyone in between.
Tune in next week when I fix Nic Cage in "The Weather Man."
Fazer on Film...this week's installment: PREDATOR
Approximately 6 perfect movies exist, this is one of them.
'nuff said.
Oh, I got a new mic also, so "stick around"
'nuff said.
Oh, I got a new mic also, so "stick around"
Review: Waiting (Justin Fixes the Movies vol 2)
I have never worked in a resturaunt, but I must say I laughed quite a few times at this movie. Don't get me wrong, this is no Office Space (which it has been criminally compared to) or even Van Wilder, but a potentially great movie with quite a bit of excess baggage, and a bit too much reliance on running gags.
How to Save it?
- Cut some characters. Milonakis and that other guy were completely unecessary..as were many more that I have forgotten were in the movie. All they served was a distraction from the main story..if there is one..and kept the more interesting characters from developing.
- What's your fuckin point? Was this Justin Long's story? Was it the Freaks and Geeks guy's story? Was it Ryan Reynolds' excuse to deliver one liners? It's actually a sloppy mix of the three, but not enough time is spent on any one for them to really do any good. Anna Faris, who actually has some comedic chops, was completely wasted here, as were the other chicks, except the overused "crazy bitch" waitress, who incidentally came across as the only over the top character on display.
- Slacker comedy doesn't have to be sloppy. In the right hands, this could have been office space, but the script's unevenness and the goddamn showing of the balls running gag stamp all over that.
- Ryan Reynolds..fire your agent. You are a funny person, and can make unfunny lines memorable..but you are wasted and one dimensional here. How bout the best actor with worst movies award here?
- Justin Long's arc was guessable from the beginning. Yawn.
- As more proof that Dane Cook and Ryan Reynolds are the same person, both are in this movie, but never appear together.
- Development..outside of Justin Long's yawnfest and a very short glimpse into Ryan Reynold's character's home life, we never see any motivation for these folks or why they behave in the way that we do. I rarely say this, but another half hour could have been tacked to this movie and made it far superior, if used properly.
Overall, I recommend that you do check this one out, and it is superior to most of the shit that passes for comedy these days, but in my elitist eyes, this is another case of potential greatness and a dropped ball.
How to Save it?
- Cut some characters. Milonakis and that other guy were completely unecessary..as were many more that I have forgotten were in the movie. All they served was a distraction from the main story..if there is one..and kept the more interesting characters from developing.
- What's your fuckin point? Was this Justin Long's story? Was it the Freaks and Geeks guy's story? Was it Ryan Reynolds' excuse to deliver one liners? It's actually a sloppy mix of the three, but not enough time is spent on any one for them to really do any good. Anna Faris, who actually has some comedic chops, was completely wasted here, as were the other chicks, except the overused "crazy bitch" waitress, who incidentally came across as the only over the top character on display.
- Slacker comedy doesn't have to be sloppy. In the right hands, this could have been office space, but the script's unevenness and the goddamn showing of the balls running gag stamp all over that.
- Ryan Reynolds..fire your agent. You are a funny person, and can make unfunny lines memorable..but you are wasted and one dimensional here. How bout the best actor with worst movies award here?
- Justin Long's arc was guessable from the beginning. Yawn.
- As more proof that Dane Cook and Ryan Reynolds are the same person, both are in this movie, but never appear together.
- Development..outside of Justin Long's yawnfest and a very short glimpse into Ryan Reynold's character's home life, we never see any motivation for these folks or why they behave in the way that we do. I rarely say this, but another half hour could have been tacked to this movie and made it far superior, if used properly.
Overall, I recommend that you do check this one out, and it is superior to most of the shit that passes for comedy these days, but in my elitist eyes, this is another case of potential greatness and a dropped ball.
Review: Doom (Justin Fixes the Movies volume 1)
This is a little test if you will, a foray into reviewing shit. When it comes to DVDs, I will try to judge the movie on it's own merits, and not give much time to audio or video quality, or extras, unless they are such an overwhelming factor that it would influence the shelf life of the dvd. Why? Countless other sites cover this stuff, and I figure if you are here, you probably want to see me rant on the movie itself. I will assume that you have read other reviews, and have a general idea of what the movie is about. Our first victim, Doom.
Growing up, Doom was a revolution to me. Sure it wasn't the first FPS that I played (that was Zero Tolerance) nor were there any Nazis to slaughter, but something about this game worked. It looked beautiful at the time, and was pretty gruesome. I would say a lot of the reason Grand Theft Auto works so well is a direct influence from Doom..but thats too abstract for me to attempt to describe right now, since it's so late. Anyways..what was I saying?
Oh yeah. Doom never really had a great story, but it was pretty fun to play. It was at this point last year when I found out it was being made into a movie that I realized that Hollywood had hit rock bottom. Don't cringe, that was unintentional.
This movie is absolute shit. It actually takes the almost non existant story of the Doom franchise and tries to merge it with the Resident Evil movie, making for a retarded mess. It is boring to watch, poorly acted, and has some one liners later on in the movie that rival Batman and Robin. The one scene that everyone talks about, the "first person" scene, looks better in the game...as do most of the CGI effects present.
Shew..ok. Now Deeper: There actually was a criminally fumbled plotline here, as the Rock's Sarge character had potential to be interesting if it didn't end up so predictable.
How could this movie be saved you ask? Here goes.. (SPOILER WARNING)
- Lose the genetic experiment shit. This was a portal to hell and should have stayed that way. Not only is it a bit less played out, it won't unnecessarily convolute the plot.
- Less concentration on action (which doesn't even get started until about the halfway mark anyway) and more on the horror, hopelessness, and fear elements..which are practically nonexistant.
- Greatly expand Sarge's Arc, and for the love of god, don't dumb it down to him vs the hero in the end. Show this guy gradually lose it throughout the film.
- Lose the sister. Bad character, worse actress.
- Link it more to the game. Naming characters after ID software staff is not enough. This had the potential to be a desolate, hopeless schooling of cinema..but with all that said, I guess people weren't expecting much from a videogame movie. Thank you Dr. Boll.
Growing up, Doom was a revolution to me. Sure it wasn't the first FPS that I played (that was Zero Tolerance) nor were there any Nazis to slaughter, but something about this game worked. It looked beautiful at the time, and was pretty gruesome. I would say a lot of the reason Grand Theft Auto works so well is a direct influence from Doom..but thats too abstract for me to attempt to describe right now, since it's so late. Anyways..what was I saying?
Oh yeah. Doom never really had a great story, but it was pretty fun to play. It was at this point last year when I found out it was being made into a movie that I realized that Hollywood had hit rock bottom. Don't cringe, that was unintentional.
This movie is absolute shit. It actually takes the almost non existant story of the Doom franchise and tries to merge it with the Resident Evil movie, making for a retarded mess. It is boring to watch, poorly acted, and has some one liners later on in the movie that rival Batman and Robin. The one scene that everyone talks about, the "first person" scene, looks better in the game...as do most of the CGI effects present.
Shew..ok. Now Deeper: There actually was a criminally fumbled plotline here, as the Rock's Sarge character had potential to be interesting if it didn't end up so predictable.
How could this movie be saved you ask? Here goes.. (SPOILER WARNING)
- Lose the genetic experiment shit. This was a portal to hell and should have stayed that way. Not only is it a bit less played out, it won't unnecessarily convolute the plot.
- Less concentration on action (which doesn't even get started until about the halfway mark anyway) and more on the horror, hopelessness, and fear elements..which are practically nonexistant.
- Greatly expand Sarge's Arc, and for the love of god, don't dumb it down to him vs the hero in the end. Show this guy gradually lose it throughout the film.
- Lose the sister. Bad character, worse actress.
- Link it more to the game. Naming characters after ID software staff is not enough. This had the potential to be a desolate, hopeless schooling of cinema..but with all that said, I guess people weren't expecting much from a videogame movie. Thank you Dr. Boll.
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