SALUTE DE SOUZA!

In all the pandemonium going on to celebrate the work of Shane Black, I feel it’s important to also pay tribute to a writer who had his hand in the scripts of practically every marquee action film not written by Black. That man is Steven E de Souza.

Unlike Black, de Souza did not hit it big right off the bat. He started out writing for television on shows such as “The Six Million Dollar Man” and “Knight Rider.” He first hit the cinema jackpot by contributing to the script for 48 HRS. That led to his involvement in many major films, including COMMANDO and THE RUNNING MAN. What also separates de Souza from Black is that he often was involved in projects with multiple writers on board, and in the case of THE RUNNING MAN he was given the task of adapting a Stephen King short story. This is no knock on de Souza, often adapting something into a screenplay is as tough as coming up with an original concept from scratch.

It was 1988 when de Souza, along with writer Jeb Stuart, essentially became immortal. Have you ever heard of the novel “Nothing Lasts Forever?” Not many have, but it served as the basis for a screenplay written by de Souza and Stuart. A screenplay titled DIE HARD. You’d be hard pressed to find a script for an action film that serves up as many interesting and/or entertaining characters as this one. There have been many imitators of the DIE HARD plot but I doubt anything will ever be able to top the amazing amount of fun the movie has to offer.

After DIE HARD de Souza was still involved in writing many huge, if not always beloved films. He co-wrote DIE HARD 2 which some folks consider the weakest of the series, not me though. From there he left his mark on HUDSON HAWK, (the underrated) RICOCHET, BEVERLY HILLS COP 3, and THE FLINTSTONES. Certainly a mixed bag right there but it was obvious that Hollywood had de Souza on the brain and it was inevitable that he would take a shot at directing a film.

In 1994 de Souza wrote and directed STREET FIGHTER. I’ve written about that film at length here before so all I’ll say now is that the movie is a total mess, a total delightful mess. The box office for STREET FIGHTER was decent but the writing was on the wall that de Souza’s time in the cinema sun was coming to a close. He worked on the script for JUDGE DREDD and penned the disastrous Van Damme flick KNOCK OFF. The party was over.

I’m not really sure if de Souza has been exiled from show business or has stayed relatively free of the industry by choice but the 21st century has been mainly de Souza free. The last script he wrote that was filmed was BLAST!, a DTV flick starring Eddie Griffin as a guy stopping terrorists from taking over an oil rig. I have not seen BLAST! This is saying something because I watch all sorts of shitty movies. But even I have my limits and they usually involve Eddie Griffin.

It’s often that you hear people wish for a comeback for the action icons of yesterday. But it’s not so often where people clamor for the comebacks of the people behind the scenes that were involved in classic action films. De Souza deserves such a comeback. He has a few projects in the works but it’s tough to tell whether they have any substance or are just IMDB pipe-dreams. No matter what he does in the future his legacy will live on in the DVD collections of men age 18-80 forever.

Shane Black Week: KISS KISS, BANG BANG

For almost 10 years Shane Black stood tall as one of the highest paid screenwriters in the history of cinema. But after the box office failure of THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT Black virtually vanished from film. I’ve read interviews with Black where he speaks of a depression that set in over his place in show business and a need to get away from the buddy action films that had made him a success. It would be nearly 10 years after THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT before Black would return, this time as both writer and director, for KISS KISS, BANG BANG. A film that shares much in common with LETHAL WEAPON and THE LAST BOY SCOUT but is also brand new territory for Black.

KISS KISS, BANG BANG partners up Robert Downey Jr. as a thief-turned-actor with Val Kilmer as a private eye who enjoys the company of men. The story has the duo caught up in a dime-store novel detective mystery but the plot is really just an excuse for Black to show everyone he still has the gift to write sharp, and often hilarious, dialogue. The film doesn’t have the relentless pacing of Black’s earlier work but what it lacks in automatic weapons it more than makes up for in charm. Black is essentially spoofing a lot of what made him successful but not in a SCARY MOVIE “Bash you over the head with a frying pan” way.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Downey Jr. but he hits all the right notes in KISS KISS. He’s asked to do an awful lot in this film and seems up to whatever challenge the story throws at him. Kilmer is equally good, if not better, as Gay Perry. In a year when BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN was seen as a landmark for gay characters in film it would be nice if Kilmer could have gotten some more praise for playing a guy who won’t let taking it up the ass get in the way of being a tough guy.

KISS KISS, BANG BANG was a relatively small studio film but even by that standard it flopped hard at the box office. Some of the fault lies with the studio, Warner Bros., who pretty much dumped the film in theaters with practically no advertising. But as much as I hate to say it, even if the movie had gotten a wider release I’m sure it would have tanked. It’s a very funny film but it isn’t a WEDDING CRASHERS-type funny and since both of the leads aren’t exactly box office gold, the general public was never going to give it a fair shot. That’s just the sad truth of today’s movie-going public. They’ll lap up all the SAW sequels and inspirational sports films but they’ll only put up with so many off-the-beaten-path movies before they’re begging for Adam Sandler to get kicked in the nuts while Drew Berrymore acts ditzy.

I can only hope that Black hasn’t taken the financial failure of KISS KISS, BANG BANG too hard. I’d like to think he’s already planning his next film, even if it’s just as a writer, that’ll stand proudly with his other works. I’d personally be interested in anything he has his hand in no matter the genre. Though I admit if he announced tomorrow that he was a penning a follow-up to THE LAST BOY SCOUT I’d take my enthusiasm one-step further and dance a jig that would make Michael Flatley look like the fraud we all know him to be.

Live from New York! It's Crap!

"Saturday Night Live" returns for an all new season this weekend. I remember back when I grew up with the show, in the days of Hartman, Farley, and Meadows (that's right, I singled out Meadows) it was always great to see the show return after the long summer off. These days I just don't care anymore. Obviously that's due in part to the fact that I'm older now and have access to all sorts of pornography which makes sketch comedy seem pointless. But the real reason I don't care anymore stems from the fact that the show is painful to sit through.

The last time I watched a new episode of the show was a little over a year ago when Will Ferrell came back to host. I couldn't believe how bad it was and I haven't felt the need to revisit it since. Last season a lot of "SNL's" supposed highlights always found their way on the Internet right after they aired. I'd watch a lot of that selected ass and shake my head. Natalie Portman curses and raps! Amazing!

I know bagging on "SNL" is hardly original thinking. It has been going on in various forms since the original cast left over 25 years ago. But it's pretty clear that the show needs a real shake-up. Last week the cast was cut down for budget reasons with longtime players Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell among those who got the axe. Sanz is no big loss, only Jimmy Fallon broke out of character more, but Parnell seemed funny at least from what I saw of him.

The best thing "SNL" could do to get back in the public's consciousness is start over with a mixture of proven talent and young unknowns. Take a page from the mid-80's when Billy Crystal and Martin Short did the show for a year and go after people like David Alan Grier, Jim Gaffigan, and even Fred Willard. That would do a lot to help the problems in front of the camera. As for the show's writing, I'm not going to pretend that I know how to salvage what the show has been serving up in that department.

Aside from that advice the only other suggestion I can make would be to let Robert Smigel do 90 minutes of "TV Funhouse" bits.

Law and Order...and Fletch?

Well, I think we can all rest now. Someone has found Chevy Chase and given him another job!!! After that whole "karate dog" debacle, I for one thought the man would never work again outside of public access or possibly headlining some Skinemax (ha, that never gets old, does Cinemax even exist anymore?) movie.

Apparently, Law and Order has chosen Chase to play a drunken celebrity who gets pulled over and goes on a racist tirade, but the twist is...wait for it...he may be involved in MURDER!!! (dum dum cue the L&O music). I guess the Law and Order writing staff is getting quicker and quicker in their ripped from the headlines turn around time. If I was Chase, I would be pretty flattered to be playing the TV version of Mel Gibson. Then again, if I was Chase, I would also probably be drunk a lot spouting my now famous anti-nerdbekistani slurs, so maybe he is the right guy for the role.

read more here

Shane Black Week: The Long Kiss Goodnight

I know I will get some grief for this, but Samuel L. Jackson's turn in "The Long Kiss Goodnight" is one of his most iconic roles. Moreso than hitman Jules in "Pulp Fiction", moreso than his "hold onto your butts" computer nerd/velociraptor meal in "Jurassic Park", and far moreso than his "I GOT EATEN BY A SHARK!" role in "Deep Blue Sea".

***Segway alert: Renny Harlin, director of "Deep Blue Sea" also happened to direct "The Long Kiss Goodnight". Suck it Knowles***

The Long Kiss Goodnight (TLKG) is your classic story of a single housewife/mother, who is slowly beginning to realize she used to be a CIA assassin named Charly Baltimore. Sam Jackson plays the private eye hired by "samantha", the housewife, to figure out some details about her past only to get caught up in the fireworks as Charly Baltimore/Samantha's old bosses find out she is a live and come back to put a bullet in her head. The story is actually quite a strong element in the film. Black's script does a great job of moving the story forward intelligently as the two leads go from clue to clue. The viewer actually cares about these characters and are actually a bit torn in watching Geena Davis' Charly/Samantha character make a choice in what life she wants to ultimately lead.

Now, the action in the movie is really really solid. Renny Harlin was fresh off his super bomb "Cutthroat Island", and re-teamed with his then wife Geena Davis for TLKG. Harlin has gotten a lot of crap over the years, but I feel his take on Die Hard 2 was fantastic, and he has another real gem in TLKG. The action is smooth, easy to follow, and exciting. Harlin puts together a lot of nice setpieces that showcase Charly Baltimore's skill at killing. I think the water torture scene will stick out for many as a real favorite.

When you watch this movie now, many people will see a lot of similarities to Kill Bill and/or La Femme Nikita. While the idea of a woman looking for revenge is not new, after seeing this movie I think you will lose a little respect for Tarantino's movie. I already felt that Kill Bill was too full of homage and lacked real substance. Seeing how well thought out and planned TLKG was, I disliked Kill Bill even more. Tarantino could have learned a real lesson from this film (especially on the action front).

I think coupled with a classic Shane Black script and Renny Harlin's above average direction The Long Kiss Goodnight is easily a contender for a slot in the "best action films of the 1990's" argument. A lot of people did not see this movie, and I think a lot of it had to do with "Cutthroat Island's" headline grabbing losses it caused the studio. People read about what a flop that movie was, and then you have the same director and same lead actress and you have built in negative PR. Luckily, we are far enough away from the 90s where none of that movie politics matters. I highly recommend this film if you are a fan of Black (many of his fans call this his best movie), a fan of Davis (she gives a great dual performance and looks quite good), or a fan of Jackson (his best role ever).

Favorite line in the movie: Sam Jackson's Character crashes through a blockade to get to Charly and her daughter yelling, "YOU CAN'T KILL ME MUTHA FUCKERS!"

Shane Black Week: Lethal Weapon

Editor Note: Chris wrote this some time ago, and since blogger's setup does not allow me to change the date it gets posted I just copied and pasted it here. Once again, Chris is responsible for this great read.
- Faze

When I was 22 I had recently graduated college and was working at a video store. When Shane Black was 22 he sold his script for LETHAL WEAPON for $250,000. On the surface it looks like Black comes out on top but I doubt he was able to rent GHOST DOG: WAY OF THE SAMURAI before its designated street date, FOR FREE! Once LETHAL WEAPON hit screens in 1987 it would mark the start of Black’s reign as one of the premiere screenwriters for the next decade.

The buddy action film wasn’t exactly an original concept in the late 80’s. The decade had already produced flicks like 48 HOURS, RUNNING SCARED, and (say it with me folks) FIREWALKER. But LETHAL WEAPON took the mold that created those films and shattered it into a million pieces. Who would have thought that a pairing of Mad Max with the guy who beat up Whoopi Goldberg in THE COLOR PURPLE could have such impact? But that’s what happened thanks largely to Black’s dialogue and a steady captain behind the camera in director Richard Donner.

The film works on every level. The action is terrific, there are tons of nice comedic bits (“DO YOU WANNA JUMP?”), and the characters are written with much more attention to detail than you usually see in the genre. But we can’t forget the bad guys. Gary Busey may actually be insane now but back when he did LETHAL WEAPON he was (mostly) acting insane. Often overlooked is Mitchell Ryan as General McAllister. Ryan is one of the those character actors who pops up all the time in films and television, usually playing kind or uptight old men. But in WEAPON he is the picture of evil. He’s the Dick Jones to Busey’s ED-209.

LETHAL WEAPON was a smash hit back in’87 and a sequel was inevitable. Black wrote a script and shockingly decided to kill Gibson’s Martin Riggs character off at the end. This didn’t fly with the producers who kyboshed that idea and handed his script over to be revised by new writers. Killing Riggs off would have been ballsy but I actually like the way part 2 ends with Glover trading jokes with a nearly dead Gibson.

After LETHAL WEAPON the buddy cop movies increased to dizzying degrees. Most were not very good and even the ones that were fun couldn’t quite match what Black already did. You don’t see as many flicks in the vein of LETHAL WEAPON because the premise has been destroyed by so many inferior knock-offs. I blame RUSH HOUR.

SHANE BLACK WEEK: IT BEGINS

I really have a feeling that our readership has not increased in the last 6 months, but I also get the feeling based on our rough site visit meter that we haven't lost too many readers either!!!

For those still reading, I thank you. I know we could talk about all the hot new TV shows of the season, but I have quickly realized that there are 95 million other websites and blogs that will do it better and in a more timely fashion than we can. I think TV is still an important part of this blog, and when any of us feel the need to chime in about a show we won't hesitate to. For example, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is pretty fantastic, but I think everyone knew that already. Smith on CBS was actually pretty damn good too, and I don't know how aware of that people are. But I think the one show that has been the clear runaway favorite for this season has been The Venture Brothers. Each episode has raised the already high bar for comedy. It is simply the funniest show on TV right now. I highly suggest you guys check it out Sunday nights on Cartoon Network. AdultSwim.com will also show the newest episodes on their "Adult Swim Fix" service on their website (its free).

Another not so hidden cable gem is Monk. You would think the OCD gimmick would get old after so many episodes, but I can tell you this half season that USA aired over summer has had me laughing out loud on multiple occasions. I already talked about Psych earlier on this blog, and I still stand by it. It is simple a fantastic show and a perfect companion piece to Monk. Both shows should be coming back in January for the second half of their seasons. Be sure to watch.

Jericho is another CBS show that I would definitely push also. Although Skeet Ulrich constantly looks like he is coming off a cocaine high, the show itself has a great premise and seems to be well executed so far. It is definitely something I would like to see through till the end.

Anyway, keep on reading. If nothing else, I promise you will be entertained.

Without further adieu, I present to you Shane Black Week.

The Rapaport Report

It's been a while, my friends and enemies, but what with my Rapaport-less summer depression to get over it took three new episodes of The War At Home to finally get me back on my feet. As a first order of business, I'd like to get the issue of his name out of the way first. Is it spelled "Rapaport" or "Rappaport"? The answer: Both! The fact is, an actor of Rap's stature can have as many or as few Ps in his name as is his whim. Who's going to stop him? You? Don't make me laugh.

Anyway, this season of the show seems to have some changes in store. Hillary is a high school senior now, and visions of her possible future are invading. Will she finally crack down and take school seriously, or will she keep on slackin'? My guess is she will just get stupider and sluttier, and find success along that path. I mean, this is a show about America not Nerd-bekistan. Although, coincidentally enough, older son Larry is played by Nerd-bekistani thespian/prodigy Kyle Sullivan...ajad. Larry (or should i call him Gideon?) is going through some changes this year, with reinvention in his mind. But sadly his moniker change, his new attitude, and even his clothing can't disguise the real him, mostly because he's in high school and hasn't reached puberty. Maybe that will be the most important change we see in him this season, but somehow I doubt it. This young man's voice will be cracking well into his retirement years. Younger son Mike is a freshman in high school now, and his world is reeling. Should he stick to a long term relationship in hopes of someday getting to feel her up, or should he date around until he finds a girl who will let him round the bases right away? It's a matter of investment savvy, and at age 14 you can't expect a burgening sexual predator to find the easiest marks on his very first try, can you? Only Rapaport has the balls to ask these questions in prime time.

Speaking of our hero, how have Dave and Vicky been handling the changes in their kids' lives? With the proper mixture of frank honesty and problem-deteriorating lies. Hillary, you can't sing. Gideon, your name isn't Gideon. Mike, your virginity is shameful. Kids, stop bothering us when we want to have afternoon sex. Is the man ever wrong? Only when he admits he was wrong. Now last night's episode was mostly about Dave and Larry (and Kenny, glad to see he's back this season) going to a sci-fi convention. Dave felt rather uncomfortable there, and I think the show missed an opportunity in not focusing on how nerd girls use these events as excuses to get nearly naked, which might have been a good way for father and son to bond. Instead it relied on some jerky has-been celebrity not giving autographs. I blame everybody on the show but Rapaport for this reliance on cliche, but that's neither here nor there. During some of the inner monologue sequences, we see Rapaport in a superhero outfit, and that reminded me of something else he did this year which I haven't yet mentioned. Rapaport has indeed been keeping busy with film as well, one of which happens to be a unique take on the superhero movie. Special follows Rapaport as a possibly delusional man who believes he's a superhero, with powers improving everyday. Unfortunately, it seems it hasn't found a distributor just yet, but it's been moving around the festival circuit. The trailer can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NUzKPbMT7k . I suggest you watch it, and of course, keep watching The War At Home.

Barf = $$$

After a few quiet weeks of September box office returns, JACKASS 2 came to the rescue to take in $28 million over the weekend. This makes one thing quite clear. People love pubic hair.

I contributed my $9.75 to the JACKASS 2 pot and I feel no shame at all. It goes beyond the first film and is full of funny and stomach disturbing moments from start to finish. I'd go into greater detail but this is really a movie that begs to be seen without knowing all the great stunts and pranks beforehand. I'll say this though, 350 pound women should not appear on film naked.

Next weekend will continue the trend of movies designed to sicken their audiences. That's right, Ashton Kutcher is back on the big screen in THE GUARDIAN. Oh Kevin Costner, I hope you at least bought a solid gold toilet or something with the money you "earned" to do a movie with Kutcher.

And1 Mixtape GLOBAL INVASION

In case you have been living under a rock, the And1 Mixtape Tour has gone GLOBAL BABY. OH BABY! OH BABY!

Sorry for the digression, but its hard not to get excited when you take 10-12 guys from the hoods of the US and A and drop them in the middle of Europe and Asia where everyone treats them like they are superstars. The fact that you have all the classic And1 stars playing again makes this tour worth watching alone. Most notably, you have the return of the "Sauce". Hot Sauce has returned to the tour bringing his second to none dribbling skills. Shane the Dribbling Machine is there. The rare on court sighting of Escalade, who seems to get larger and larger by the day. 50, who is freaking hilarious in his quirks one of which involves bragging about all the articles that have been written about him, is on top of his game. Old stalwart 1/2 man 1/2 amazing. AO. Go Get it. Of course, you have the Professa. And some others who I can't remember right now. They are almost like a new age Wu-Tang in the amount of interchangeable members they have.

The on court action is great. But the off the court action is almost as entertaining. Seeing these guys experiencing life in a foreign country is often times very hilarious. One of my favorite exchanges had to be from the oldie but goodie 1/2 man 1/2 amazing. Basically, the locker rooms in the Italian stadium had the old style squat and squeeze style toilets. Needless to say, the guys were having none of that. Our boy 1/2 man dropped this suggestion to the Italians, "Yo Italy, you gots to up your doo doo game"

I smell a future position at the UN...or maybe just doo doo

Streetball: The And1 Mixtape Tour Global Invasion airs Mondays at 9 pm on ESPN 2. It also airs multiple times throughout the week on one of the ESPNs, check your listings.

Shoot 'Em Up: Actual Footage

I don't know exactly what the hombres over at LatinoReview.com do to get their exclusives, but they are pretty on top of the movie scoopage now that AICN has sort of just given up on movie scooping and just becoming a glorified message board with the occasional Harry Knowles rant.

LatinoReview first broke news about Michael Davis' (writer of Double Dragon: The movie!!!) long animatic that he showcased to studio execs to get money for his new movie idea. They actually put it up on their website and it got a lot of people talking. He basically combined the style of a John Woo shoot out with the kinetic pace of a Jackie Chan action sequence. Needless to say, I was excited about what I saw.

Now, LatinoReview has posted a promo reel with actual footage from the movie and hot damn! does it look good. It boasts a great cast and has a nice sense of style to it. I also very much appreciate the return of massive amounts of ammunition expenditure. American movies have been far too gun shy in the past few years. I like what I am seeing here. Take a look and tell us what you think.


Footage

NORM!

It's hard to top "Mentos Van Damme" but I'll give it a shot. Here's Norm Macdonald on a recent visit to "The Daily Show" discussing the tragic death of Steve Irwin.

Macdonald has long been a favorite of mine since his days behind the "Weekend Update" desk. He was on "The Daily Show" to promote his new comedy CD "Ridiculous." I grabbed a copy as soon as I heard it was released and it saddens me to say that I wasn't doubled over in laughter all that much while listening to it. But whatever projects he can line up to justify appearances like this one on "The Daily Show" is fine by me.

MyTube: Best one yet

I think this clip needs no explanation. I do think that if I were to make a top 10 of youtube clips, this would be near the top. I would like to shake the hand of the man who made this possible.




P.S. Next week WILL be Shane Black week. I promise. Thoughts on Lethal Weapon, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The long kiss goodnight, and the unfairly maligned Last Action Hero...and maybe Predator (he did star in it)

Spike TV: Not completely worthless

No two ways about it, Spike TV is shit. I was looking forward to "Blade: The Series" and gave it a fair shot but it was horrid. I've heard it has gotten better as the season progressed but I can only hang with a show that dull for so long. I will give Spike TV this, they do provide an outlet for people too cheap (or perhaps too smart) to keep up with the latest in DTV action films.

Tonight at 9 they'll be airing THE RUSSIAN SPECIALIST. It's the 2nd film directed by Dolph Lundgren and is far superior to the usual Seagal or Snipes DTV crap. The story is nothing new. Lundgren plays a guy whose family is killed by Russian mobsters. After he believes he has terminated those responsible he tries to assume a quiet life as an auto mechanic. But because this is a Dolph Lundgren film, he his forced to turn his back on that quiet life and resume bringing the pain to the Russian underworld.

It really is a well made film and at times a nasty depiction of revenge. Sadly, Spike will chop up some of the more gruesome moments but if you really want to see the blood hit the floor then go spend $3 or $4 and rent the flick. Doing that will also mean you can watch the film without an endless parade of Axe bodyspray ads that Spike will surely interrupt the flick with.

Can a Wayans Still Be Funny?

There are many signs that I am getting old. For starters I actually make an effort to watch the last segment of "60 Minutes" so I can catch Andy Rooney. No joke! That old fucker sees the world in so many humerous ways. In addition to that fact I know I am getting old because I can clearly remember when the Wayans family was viewed as cutting edge.

Long before LITTLE MAN, WHITE CHICKS, and "My Wife and Kids" there was "In Living Color." When I was a young buck you just weren't cool unless you knew everything that went on during the previous night's episode of "In Living Color." Well now the most talented (I say that only because of THE LAST BOY SCOUT) member of the family, Damon, is shedding his fatherly image to start up "The Underground," a sketch comedy series premiering Thursday at 10 on Showtime.

I suppose this is Wayans' and Showtime's attempt at their own "Chappelle's Show" empire. I'm very skeptical as to if Wayans still has any creative juices in his tank. Good or bad this series is evidence that Showtime has no clue how to promote their original programming. The only place I've seen ads for "The Underground" is on Showtime. HBO always goes out of their way to make sure their original programming gets hyped all over the media. It's no wonder that Showtime's biggest show ever was "Queer as Folk." But that was about dudes who hump each other. Of course everyone would watch that. It involved actual gay sex. Between men! Wait until Andy Rooney hears about that!

I am aware that the photo up top shows Jim Carrey as Fire Marshal Bill. I was looking for a shot of Wayans from "In Living Color" but I came across that one and liked it better. Who knew there were "In Living Color" trading cards? I need to grab myself a Tommy Davidson rookie card ASAP.

Equal Opportunity NEEDS you!

Hey Guys,

My cousin Sameer Asad Gardezi, wrote his first short EQUAL OPPORTUNITY and it has made it to the Finals of the NBC SHORT CUTS FESTIVAL. Equal Opportunity will be playing on http://www.dotcomedy.com/ until Tuesday, September 19 at Noon. We need your help by clicking the link below, getting a first glimpse of the short, then voting by clicking the VISIT BUTTON (right side of the page).

Please send these links to everyone you know! All your help will be much appreciated! Thank you!




Click here for a direct link



http://www.equalopportunityfilm.com/
myspace.com/equalopportunityfilm
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2304758/

Edit: I edited this a bit so it didn't offset the entire blog's format. Also, this is a pretty funny short. I would suggest voting. And it stars Tom Lenk of Buffy The Vampire Slayer fame!!!

Faze

Trailer: Flags of our Fathers

The last time Clint Eastwood directed a movie he won an Oscar and pulled the plug on Hillary Swank's life support. Talk about win-win. 2 years later Eastwood is back behind the camera with FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS. It's the story of the men who were forever immortalized in history by raising the flag on Iwo Jima during WW2.

I find it odd that this film is coming out in less than two months but only now is a trailer being released. It looks like it has the makings to be a stirring war film, though the influence of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN feels a bit thick. The fact that Ryan Phillippe has a major role is also disheartening.

The Trailer comes from a FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS fan site. It's only available in Windows Media right now. The film will hit theaters on October 20th.

GONNA FLY NOW

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1110AP_Rocky_Statue.html

One of the greatest injustices in Philadelphia history has just been righted. And seriously, what is up with these museum types? Normally, I see no reason to ever go to a museum, unless it chronicles rock and/or roll, football, or TV. I actually want to go to this museum because the statue is back in its rightful place, and you know what, if I go I am not even going to go in the museum. So take that you snobs.

I now anxiously await the return of the Statue of Liberty to its rightful place after that Viggo debacle from Ghostbusters 2.

Tom Yum Goong aka "The Protector" (2006)

The Weinstein's have been screwing over martial arts cinema for along time now. For whatever reason, they have this inherent need to buy up any hot Asian film product, hold onto it for a long time, allow the hype to die down, then unnecessarily re-edit the film and release it in the USA with no marketing campaign. The latest project (victim?) the Weinstein's are releasing is "The Protector" starring Tony Jaa. Now, most of Southeast Asia would recognize this movie as "Tom Yum Goong", Tony Jaa's follow up to "Ong Bak". The movie is currently the number 2 highest grossing film in Thai history.

So, The Weinstein Company is now releasing their edited version this Friday. First of all, could you pick a worse title than "The Protector"? Why would you want to associate yourself with a 1980s movie starring Jackie Chan and Danny Aiello? That "protector" was single handedly responsible for souring Jackie Chan on the Hollywood movie making process for almost 20 years. Although, it also gave him the impetus to make "Police Story", which basically redefined Asian cinema forever. So some good came out of it.

But as far as "The Protector" 2006 is concerned, the plot is pure shit. Tony Jaa basically chases down his pet elephant who has been kidnapped by an evil syndicate based out of Australia. The acting, the plotting, and all the non action stuff is a clear step backwards from "Ong Bak". It can be painful at times to watch this movie, which is why I am not that disappointed that it is being "tightened up" for American audiences. There is really only one reason you should be going to see this movie...the action.

Tony Jaa and Panaa Rittikari (jaa's mentor and action choreographer) are setting a new standard for martial arts cinema.


Jet Li and Jackie Chan are shells of their former selves. They are putting out a lot of crap in the twilight of their careers. I hope they are inspired by what is coming out of Thailand to actually make something of quality again.

I know that may sound surprising, but its no hyperbole. The action quotient is just exponentially higher in TYG/Protector vs. Ong Bak. Jaa is just friggin' unbelievable. The things he does are just awe inspiring and jaw dropping. The brutality that was very prevalent in Ong Bak's fight scenes is definitely preserved here. One sequence stands out in my mind as a instant competitor for best fight scene ever. Jaa fights a capoiera expert in a buddhist temple around the halfway point of the movie. The choreography is insane. The fight beats are just so perfect and on key. And, the guy Jaa fights looks a helluva lot like Eddy Gordo from Tekken. There are several other fights that are very memorable and just pure fun to watch, but keep an eye out for the temple scene.

If you like action movies, you will not be disappointed. The story can be grating and does actually detract from the overall experience to a certain extent, but I promise you will leave the theater feeling sore because so much ass is kicked by Jaa. Also, The RZA is composing a score for the movie, which I am actually pretty anxious to hear.

And for those curious, Jaa's next project will be "Ong Bak 2" directed by Jaa himself, but will bear no relation to Ong Bak's story. Apparently, it will be set in the old timey days.

GO WATCH "THE PROTECTOR" THIS WEEKEND.

Return of the Kings

Cash Money Records. I have always liked their product because they make no qualms about who they are and what they want. Flashy cars, flashy jewels, flashy "teef", flashy women. Most everyone else in hip hop today is just a walking contradiction. They are either poorly channeling gangsta rap of the late 90s (the game) or they are barely rappers and making a living off of nonsensical phrases (lil john).

Lil Wayne and Birdman have gotten back together for a full length album "Like Father, Like Son". The first single "Stuntin' like my daddy" is quite catchy and a great return to form. No one raps about rims and stuntin' like Cash Money. I was actually pretty surprised to find out Lil Wayne's last solo album went platinum. Birdman's solo effort wasn't as successful. It is good to see these two back together. Cash Money is like a Wu-tang Clan of sorts, but instead of Eastern philosophy they are all about western materialism. Others try, but these guys have turned urban materialism into a true art form.

I don't think this particular track is produced by Manny Fresh (if it was I would have expected at least 4 shout outs to him), but its pretty damn good. The video is directed by Cash Money vet Benny Boom and covers all the basics. My favorite scene: Birdman getting a tatt on his neck...while rapping. Truly a numba one stunna

Back Under the Knife

Last year was not too kind to "Nip/Tuck." Much of the season had been spent building tension as to the identity of The Carver and when all was said and done that mystery was resolved in about the most convoluted manner possible. With that plotline left behind (for now?) the show will be back Tuesday night at 10 on F/X for its 4th season premiere.

I've never been a fan of medical shows. I think I've seen "E.R." twice in my life and "Grey's Anatomy" looks about as interesting as a preseason WNBA game. But "Nip/Tuck" got its hooks into me deep a couple years ago. It stretches basic cable to the limits and even with some of last season's laughable storylines it had plenty to offer in terms of juicy entertainment.

Obviously the show will continue to focus on the surgical and sexual escapades of Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy. But backing them up is an interesting array of guest stars such as Richard Chamberlain, Brooke Shields, and liver abuser Larry Hagman. Also popping up at some point will be Rosie O'Donnell as a "woman" hoping the good doctors can remove the horns from her head. At this time it is not known whether Rosie will eat any of the major characters. Look out Kimber!

In Memory

'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin--naturalist, animal activist, and good-natured television personality--was killed earlier today (Australia time) in a freak diving accident. He was filming an underwater documentary in and around the Great Barrier Reef when calamity struck, and apparently a stingray caught him in the chest. He is survived by his wife Terri and their two young children, Bindi Sue and Bob. He was 44 years old.

Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine is the debut feature from the directing team of Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, who just happen to be married, and to each other at that. It's funny how the world works. Anyway, the film is in part a satire on the obsession with winning which drives so many little league fathers into the seedy underworld of referee-knifing, but it also turns out to be much more than that. It's also a charming, funny family road movie along the lines of the first Vacation movie, and a touching family observational drama with a knack for depicting both the tension and the affection that come with these family relationships. In other words, it's a movie about a family.

So it's a family, we've established that, and they are on the road. But who are they? Where are they going? Why? Well, it's the Hoover family, on the road from Albuquerque to Redondo Beach in order for the young daughter Olive to compete in the Little Miss Sunshine children's pageant. She's been practicing for months with her grandfather, and though the Hoovers have been straining financially and emotionally lately, Olive's excitement (and a small motherly bribe to Olive's silent, recalcitrant, Nietzche-reading brother) gets them all into the family bus. Now I want to make it quite clear here that the characters here are not "quirky," they just happen to be detailed and well-drawn, so they stand out in comparison to cookie-cutter characters infesting, let's say, the still-unceasing flow of post-Ringu, post-post-Scream horror crapfests defiling the last decade or so. Sorry for all the hyphenates in that last sentence, but post-Ringu, post-post Scream horror crapfests really get my blood boiling.

So the writing was great, a large part of the success for the movie is due to the cast, every member of which hits the nail on the head. Abigail Breslin, best known for aceing the role of dear little Bo in Signs, plays Olive with surprising depth. The excitement, the nerves, the pressure, the delight: it all shows clearly in her face, beyond reciting lines. Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette play her parents, a loving but strained couple barely keeping above the financial waters. Paul Dano (L.I.E.) plays Olive's previously mentioned brother Dwayne, who's taken a vow of silence until reaching his goal of becoming an Air Force pilot. This might seem like a silly gimmick on paper, but in the course of the film it's played to perfection, with great humor and even ferocity. While everyone does a fantastic job, the two standout characters here are obviously Olive's grandpa (Alan Arkin) and her maternal uncle Frank (Steve Carell). Arkin's glee in playing a slightly debauched, vulgar old man is apparent from the start, but again the writing and the acting make the character more than the sum of its parts. There's not a line he says that won't perk up your ears. Carell is at his wry best as the gay genius Proust expert whose life has taken a series of downturns, leading to a recent attempt at suicide. He has a distance from the daily minutiae of the other family members that allows some outsider perspective to enter, and his interactions with success-obssessed Kinnear are a highlight.

As far as events along the way, it's a road trip movie so expect to see some roadblocks, figurative and literal. Those come with the territory, and are handled well because the characters make it so. Once again, I can't emphasize this enough, this isn't just another film with quirky characters thrown into a farcical situation together. Nor is this family the generic catch-all meant to represent all of America. It's a family of fleshed-out individuals interacting in a confined space along a goal-oriented journey, and since the relationships are always interesting, funny, maddening, saddening, and touching, the film succeeds in a big way. Also, the finale is one of the funniest film moments I've seen in years. Little Miss Sunshine seems to be gradually widening in release. Go see it. Make it a double feature with Crank, even.

Go See Crank

I didn't see SNAKES ON A PLANE and from what I hear I didn't miss much. But while that film was getting all the false buzz it's looking like the true end of summer "absurd fun" flick is CRANK.

It's a violent kinetic blast of a movie. It has a lot in common with many films. Every review mentions it's "SPEED with a human" but it also shares a lot in common with Mel Gibson's PAYBACK, only amped up to 11. After showing off his martial arts skills in THE TRANSPORTER, CRANK gives Jason Statham the chance to play a true asshole. Thankfully the film is full of assholes and Statham's Chev Chelios (movie name of the year, sorry Ricky Bobby) just happens to be quite likeable in comparison to the bastards who want him dead.

So if you find some time this holiday weekend and want to see proof that good movies are still being made, well now you know what to do.

Are you ready for some football?!?

Shane black week will come. Things have been busy, but I will get to it.

I am pretty excited about the NFL coming back officially with game 1 next Thursday, Steelers vs Dolphins. Not only does that mean the amount of baseball coverage on sportscenter will decrease , but it also means the return of NFL Primetime...wait...NBC now owns the exclusive rights to the highlight show? Primetime is no more!?! That is right. One of the smaller stories that slipped by a lot of people when NBC got football back on Sunday nights was that they also got the rights to the exclusive Sunday night highlight show, meaning NFL primetime will no longer exist in the format it did before. I love Boomer and TJ, and I hope to watch whatever highlight show they do during or before Monday Night Football (which is now on ESPN).

Another tidbit is the new NBC NFL theme music, composed by John Williams. It definitely sounds like a Sam Spence piece (the genius who composed all the NFL Films music). I like it. It feels like football.

http://broadcastingcable.com/contents/video/SNF_Theme.mp3