Youtube Special!!!

Without turning this into a politically charged post, let me just say I love Stephen Colbert. I have loved his work for years on the Daily Show and the Colbert Report has really found its groove in the past few months.

Anyway, he was invited to the White House Correspondent's Association Dinner and did not pull any punches. Its kinda weird watching him make very funny jokes, which get absolutley 0 response from the audience. This man definitely has balls.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Youtube Pick of the day/week/hour

Super Mario Brothers. I think that is enough to conjure fond memories of yesteryear when gaming was at its purest. Some group out of Gordon College (one of the best christian colleges in the world according to their website...Go fighting Apostles!), put together a near genius take on Mario. I won't bother explaining it. Just watch

ECW! ECW! ECW!

For those wrestling marks out there, I am sure you are already well aware of the news that Mr. McMahon has decided to resurrect the ECW name brand and allow Paul Heyman to run it as a sort of parallel organization. All this seems to be a reaction to TNA building up steam on Spike TV, and the fact that ECW's second PPV sold out faster than anyone expected.

I for one feel like this has been a long time coming. I simply can't stand the WWE product that has been on the air for the past 3-4 years. It's tired, hackneyed, and just plain despicable. Bringing back ECW and all its stars is the exact move that professional wrestling needs. Save for the X-division in TNA (which is doing some world class work). everything else is almost unwatchable.

If you aren't familiar with ECW, I suggest you hit up you know where...YouTube and just search for some matches involving Rob Van Dam, Jerry Lynn, Chris Jericho, Lance Storm, Tazz, Mike Awesome, Super Crazy, just to name a few or if you got a few bucks to spend pick up/rent the excellent DVD "The Rise and Fall of ECW".

Today in Stealing Cable..

For our 200th post, I am going to start what I hope becomes a running column, something of a quicker rundown of some news for items not important enough to any of us to run an entire post, but still of some interest. Regular readers probably notice that regular columns are rarely regular and more often than not continue morphing until we get comfortable..so we will see. Here goes:

-Nintendo has officially given a name to their next generation console project. Known formerly as the Revolution, Nintendo's "Wii" is at first jarring, but realizing the big N's long streak of unnecessarily handicapping themselves, this retarded name (pronounced wee, or British for piss) should come as no surprise. I apologize if the preceding sentence was degrading to retarded people.

-Sci Fi has announced an interesting fall TV slate, including Stan Lee for some of their Saturday Night movies, and of most interest to Stealing Cablites, a prequel spinoff of "Battlestar Galactica" entitled "Caprica" is going to production this summer. Galactica is a strange beast for me, I have owned the first DVD set, thoroughly enjoy the show, but for some reason can't get past the first disc.

-Sweeps begin next week, don't forget about the last few episodes of our seasonal favorites. I don't understand the concept of sweeps really, it seems to me that people could benefit more from putting sweeps caliber programming on all the time..but apparently only Rob Thomas and David Chase subscribe to that theory.

-Next month is huge for music, for me and those who share my tastes. The already reviewed Tool - 10,000 days accompany Pearl Jam's self-titled effort on May 2, and one week later we get the worst album name and art ever, the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Stadium Arcadium." With those three bands doing shows in Pittsburgh plus Radiohead, Crosby Stills Nash + YOUNG!!!, and Roger Waters of Pink Floyd likely down the pike, I was wondering if anyone was interested in purchasing my soul to pay for these shows.

-I suppose the summer movie blockbuster season kicks into high gear next month as well.

Are You Afraid of the Dark on DVD NOW!!

I submit this post for approval of the midnight society. Somehow this went over the entire internet's head, but Nickelodeon horror anthology "Are You Afraid of the Dark" is now available on DVD. The catch? Only in Canada. The good news? Those limey DVD's will work on our world dominating DVD players. Manifest destiny people!

It turns out that in a somewhat unusual move for a TV show, rights to put the show on DVD were split, with this company only getting rights for the Canadian release of the first five seasons. Where the US rights lie are beyond me. Purchasing this set could be a risky move with the possibility of a feature filled US release coming down the pike, but this could be the only legitimate release of the show for a while to come. For about 24 dollars, it is worth the price alone to ditch those homemade DVD's from videotaped transfers. Purchase the set HERE. Hat tip to TVshowsonDVD for the headline. The tale of "Laughing in the Dark" still scares the shit out of me. Zeebo the clown!!

Tool: 10,000 Days - REVIEWED

It was a cold and rainy Saturday about 5 years ago. My friends and I had some connections at a local record store, so we were able to get the next week's releases a few days early. This particular Saturday we were out to get an album that we were anticipating for years: Weezer's Green Album. Also coming out that day was something that none of us were interested in..some album with some weird name by that band that had the video with the crazy shit..or Lateralus by Tool. Even after one of my friends broke down and bought Lateralus a few months later, I had no idea what the draw was. Flash forward five years: The Green Album isn't even on my computer. Tool, however, is the third most played band in my entire library, and we are faced with a similar situation next week: Tool's CD is being released on the same day as another band that I love--Pearl Jam (the number 2 most played band, for those keeping track) drops their latest. Which will stand the test of time? Who knows, but I'm here to tell you what I think now. (PJ review guaranteed later this week)

Following a chaotic month of fake leaks, a new single release, a real leak, and tons of theories questioning the validity of said leak, the new Tool album is in my hands. Is it everything that I expected it to be? Short answer, yes. I absolutely love this album. Long answer? Well since you asked:

Tool has never been easily able to be digested. Songs upwards of 7 minutes, instrumental segue tracks, and even stranger innovations placed throughout their releases are the norm. 10,000 days is no exception. Clocking in at near the maximum time that would fit on a disc, we have 11 tracks. 2 instrumentals, 1 chanting track, and 9 "regular" tracks ranging from 6 to 12 minutes a pop. If just looking at those statistics makes your head hurt, move on to the next band.

Without going into a track by track analysis, let me give you some highlights:
-The Tool-Standard, 7 minute epic "Vicarious" is the first single and a great track
-"Jambi" has some heavy Pink Floyd influence, especially in the bassline
-"The Pot" is the most accessible track, extremely catchy

Undoubtedly the centerpiece of this album is both parts of Maynard James Keenan's tribute to his dead mother, "Wings pt. 1 and 2." Counting both parts, this song comes in at nearly 18 minutes, and every second is an experience. This is the best work this band has ever put together. Beautifully moving lyrics and intense music blend to create aural heights not accomplished since Radiohead's OK Computer (in my humble opinion of course). Especially touching is the climax of the song, where Maynard demands his fallen mother gets her wings.

The album is not without it's negatives. The back 5 tracks are not nearly as great (upon early impression) as those that come first, but with "Wings" in that group of songs, it is hard to imagine anything that could keep up. Virtuoso drummer Danny Carey is more subdued in this album than usual..his crazy fills that had become commonplace are much fewer and far between. I am also still deciding whether Maynard's voice being lower in the mix is either A. Intentionally meant to make his voice more of an instrument, ala "My Bloody Valentine", B. All in my head because I am used to "A Perfect Circle" where Mr. Keenan is way in front of the mix, or C. Poor production.

Usually the packaging of a disc has no place in a review, but in the case of Tool, an exception has to be made. The digipack disc folds out to reveal a set of stereoscope viewers, and a booklet of stereoscoped pictures on the other side. The solution to our nation's piracy problem has just been handed to the industry on a silver platter. This case needs to be seen to be believed.
Word from the Tool fan community has been extremely mixed. Some folks still refuse to believe that this is what they waited 5 years for and that it is all an extended April fools joke, a B-Sides collection, or part 1 of a 2 disc set. Those people are dellusional. Buy this disc immediately.

In Tune: Music Video Channels

Don't worry, I'm not planning to add another anti-MTV diatribe to the heap, nor will I comment on VH1's transformation into People Magazine for people who can't read. There are a number of other channels out there geared primarily towards airing music videos, and I want to talk about two in particular. The first is VH1 Classic, dedicated to showing "classic" videos from basically the period when live performance on television began up through the early 1990s, with few exceptions. Basically, it's a channel dedicated to music, and the diversity thereof. And I love it. The VJs are universally excellent. They're knowledgeable, they're mature, they're respectful--and in an interesting move by the network--they're not annoying as hell. They conduct plenty of in-house interviews with musicians of all stripes, with equal emphasis on their classic status as well as the fact that many of these artists are still alive and kicking. The show selection is also interesting and diverse. Among the many there's several All Request Hours per week, there's the self-explanatory Two-Play Tuesday, and Class Of... which features videos from any given year. A couple of my favorites are Current/Classic, which pairs videos from the same artist spanning any number of years; and The Alternative, on several times a week at various lengths, dedicated to so-called "alternative" music from throughout the ages. And I'll be the first to admit that a lot of the videos on VH1 Classic are not my cup of tea. But that's perfect, a small price to pay for the obviously love of music. And at least the videos I hate aren't the same videos the other networks are driving into the ground. I'd rather watch the Michael McDonald video I hate but haven't seen in years, than the same couple Chris Brown videos I hate played over and over. The one fear I have is that it will fall the same way MTV2 fell, and if you witnessed its heyday you know what I mean. But as it stands, VH1 Classic stands as the best music video station on TV.

The other notable channel is Fuse, which sucks generally, and with which I have a particular bone to pick. Okay, generally speaking: in contrast to VH1 Classic, the VJs here are either deathly bland or pathologically obnoxious. The music, regardless of quality which is besides the point, is basically the same stuff played on MTV2, and with the same relentless repetition. However, what specifically raises my hackles about the channel is how it represents itself--quite explicitly as the alternative to MTV--and how it fails in almost every regard. It wasn't so long ago that a (fairly entertaining) Fuse commercial lampooned MTV with a faux-Nick & Jessica commercial, rightfully calling out MTV for its near-total lack of music videos. Well, if you've been watching Fuse at all in the last year, you'll notice that it has been adopting that very same programming style. There was a terrible fake newscast show whose name I thankfully forgot. There was a choose-the-new-VJ competition (sound familiar?). There's even a video countdown show called the F-List where only portions of the videos are aired, minus the screams of hormone-gushing teenagers. And now there's an entire block of non-music video programming, and it's all terrible. There's Empire Square, apparently a British import featuring video game sprites somewhat arbitrarily spouting offensive lines that are supposed to be funny but aren't. A show called Munchies, wherein dim-witted animated characters watch TV (uhhh), but rather than music videos it's terrible sketches performed by (presumably) real people. It's quite evident that the very worst in Internet humor is infiltrating TV, especially music video channels, and I have no explanation for the trend. Anyway, the latest addition to the cavalcade of crap is (and even as I write this I almost hope for your sake that you don't keep reading, so that at least someone is spared) a show called Pants-Off Dance-Off. It's random people stripping in front of a blue screen on which we see a music video. That's not a joke I am telling; Pants-Off Dance-Off is an actual show that exists on the planet upon which you reside, created by and featuring the species to which you belong. I'll assume your eyes are now blurry with tears for humankind, and so will finish this up. Fuse is a disgrace. Not because I expected anything other than a couple dozen teen-aimed music videos of varied quality being replayed ad nauseum, but because that's all I expected, because that was what Fuse itself claimed. Basically, Fuse, you are a liar. A damned liar.

Gilmore

For you Gilmore lovers and for those that want to do them (justin)...here is the tvguide interview by Ausiello. It's too long to summarize but it explains why the Palladinos are leaving. Basically contract issues and what not.

While you sleep the Karate Kommandos save the world!

I'm not a big fan of Cartoon Network. A lot of what they show frightens me. I tried watching "The Boondocks" and frankly I laughed harder during SOPHIE'S CHOICE (Of course you choose the son, what a no-brainer). But the channel did earn my respect by helping to get "Family Guy" back on the air. Now I have another reason to like Cartoon Network. They are the exclusive home to "Karate Kommandos," the 1980's animated series starring bearded wonder Chuck Norris.

Even though "Karate Kommandos" only consisted of 5 episodes, "Karate Kommandos" fever swept the nation back in 1986. In addition to the series a line of toys and a comic book featuring the beloved characters also made their way into the hearts of children everywhere. "Karate Kommandos" fever reached its zenith when during his State of the Union address, Ronald Reagan joked, "I sure wish the Karate Kommandos would show the Ayatollah a thing or two." Okay, that wasn't during the State of the Union address. It was actually towards the end of Reagan's years. Still though a pretty good indicator of the impact the show had.

Now we can all relive the animated adventures that found Norris and crew battling the evil forces of The Claw and Super Ninja. Best as I can tell Cartoon Network is running the show Tuesdays-Fridays at 5:30 in the morning. But if you'd like to sample a bit of this epic simply head on over to youtube and I bet you can figure it out from there.

The Rapaport Report

Well after last week's hilarious miracle (or "hilaricle" if you will)--a double dose of new episodes of The War At Home--you would think that the cowards at FOX would make the move permanent. However, as last night only brought us one episode, it is clear that FOX execs are determined yet again to ignore America's mandate for more Rapaport. But perhaps this is wise? As you should already know, this past weekend brought us Earth Day. "What does that have to do with Rapaport?" you wonder aloud. Well it's a simple matter of advanced physics. You see, one episode of The War At Home is infinitely hilarious. That's manageable. But airing two episodes that are both infinitely hilarious on the same night, with only half an hour respite between? Well, you get the picture. The laughter that ensues disrupts not merely the ozone and the icecaps, but the very fabric of matter. It's akin to one black hole sucking another black hole into it, and vice versa, simultaneously. Luckily it was Easter, or otherwise the results would have been devastating. Suffice it to say, airing one episode a week just might be a matter of safety. That being said, I reiterate that FOX execs are cowards. If we're still driving Hummers, pouring mercury into all our fresh water, and basically ignoring all the warning signs nature gives us with a big silly grin, then why should a little thing like the destabilization of the universe stop us? But hey, that's just one man's opinion, which happens to faithfully represent the opinions of every single American with a television. So go ahead and ignore me, FOX, and reap the whirlwind.

All that said, I must applaud Rapaport for another job well done. If you missed last night's poignant episode, the eldest son Larry ran away from home, the youngest son Mike got a girlfriend, and daughter Hillary had her entire life ruined not once but twice in the same half hour. While the show started on a hilarious note, with a mighty fine teenage anorexia joke, it soon delved deep into issues that all modern American families face, such as "what if my teenage son wants to watch Lord of the Rings on ice?" and "what if my slutty daughter gets called a slut by some anorexic bimbo slut at her school?" and "why won't my wife quit busting my balls?" If you missed the episode, then I guess you don't know the answers to these questions, and the rest of us can (and should) look down on you for it. Also sassy wife Vicky dropped an F-bomb during the episode, censored of course by those sons-of-bleeps that kowtow to the FCC. I don't understand it, this whitewashing of a realistic depiction of family life. If you want to turn Rapaport into Ozzie Nelson then you got another thing coming. All together, it was another fine episode of The War At Home, and another notch in Rapaport's belt of successes. By the way, if you can't wait for the rerun season, video clips from the show and from behind the scenes moments can be viewed at http://www.fox.com/warathome/. Finally, the Internet is meeting its potential!

Trivia: That is not a metaphor; Rapaport actually wears a "belt of success" that he adds notches to with each new project. He may have to retire it soon, however, as his triumphs eclipse his waist size. Nobody can say our hero is anything but fabulously fit.

You Tube Pick of the Week/Day/Hour

I came across this indirectly through Chris' (one of our newer contributors) online profile at another site.

I love Die Hard. I love Reginald VelJohnson. And yes, there was a time when I loved Family Matters.

The cut up movie trailer craze has produced a lot of gems and a lot of crap, this my friends is a first rate gem. Enjoy

Silent Hill: There's something strange about this place..

Silent Hill is a movie based on the likes of a long time videogame franchise by the same name, differentiating itself from other action games with a heaping dose of creepy atmosphere and disturbing images. Unfortunately the movie tries to emulate that while forgetting that without the interactivity of the game, you lose quite a bit in translation.

The movie starts off in typical horror fashion with our scantily clad leading lady, one Rhada Mitchell, chasing after her stereotypically fucked up adopted daughter. Mommy saves the demon spawn just in time, saving her from a leap off a cliff. The daughter's screams of "SILENT HILL" cue me into a couple of things early on, mostly that I should probably not expect this movie to be carried by dialogue or acting. Back to the movie, the daughter's increasing descent into insanity pushes the mother to take her to Silent Hill, where she thinks her problems will be solved. Sean Bean plays the father here, and I suppose we are to assume there are marital troubles since he isn't invited along on the trip, but no concrete evidence is given either way.

Without delving too much into what happens for the rest of the movie, you can safely assume that they make it to Silent Hill and horror ensues. In an incredibly useless and tacked on subplot, Sean Bean's character is trying to track down his missing daughter and wife. For some reason, the choice was made to let us in on the secret that the Silent Hill that the girls are in is an "alternate universe" of sorts, with Boromir still on earth 1. This is an extremely poor choice because it really takes the air out of the ending, and since the movie was so sloppily written, we are never given a set of rules for each. Plot Holes abound.

I would be lying if I said that this movie didn't get some things right. The very thing that I feared would be hardest to recreate from the game, atmosphere, is here and works in spades. Alternate universe Silent Hill is as foggy and foreboding as the game it was aped from, and the monsters in the movie look great. There is even a nice re-imagining of a famous scene from the Evil Dead. Gore, while mostly CGI, is abundant and pretty damn cool. They are not afraid to let a scene linger on the grusome action either. The climactic sequence rains blood down in a way that would almost make Peter Jackson proud.


There are several critical flaws in this movie. First and foremost, the aforementioned dialogue is amazingly bad. Acting is pretty awful, but given the material they had to work with, I'm willing to give a little. Anne, a Silent Hill citizen is especially horrible at reading her lines(I was happy when she met her rather grusome fate), and Jodelle Ferland as the little girl is extremely annoying. Everyone else gets a pass.

The problem with the monsters is that they do not have consistent appearances. Of all of the different breeds of monsters, the only one we get more than one appearance from is the much ballyhooed Pyramid Head, and his comeback is brief. Especially aggravating is that we are first lead to believe that these guys can only attack after the siren sounds and everything turns dark. That is thrown out the window though when we meet an acid spitting monster during the daylight. Even worse, throughout the rest of the movie, we never see another baddie in the daytime. Monsters aren't the only thing that come once and go away never to be seen again..the radio noise that alerts us of a monster's presence is used once, early on, and sort of forgotten as time goes on.

The biggest flaw of all is Roger Avery's script. The plot tries to mimic the experience of a videogame too much. Videogame staples such as puzzles, item hunts, and even an incredibly stupid, lazy, and overlong expositonal reveal near the end clues us in to what's going on, run rampant. There might as well have been a life bar over the head of the cop. Several shots are meant to mimic the game. An entire act of the movie goes by without any plot progression. This could be forgivable if there was characterization, but it was basically just asking how many ways you can psychologically torture someone. Speaking of characterization, no one ever grows here, it's as if none of our characters are affected by anything, at least until the very end. Any of this could be forgiven if it had any symbolic meaning, but most of it is just creepy and weird for the sake of being creepy and weird. This is an incredibly shallow movie that might fool the weak minded into thinking that there is something more here..but thinking about it at any length should give you the big secret: none of this shit makes any sense and is just an excuse to show what is essentially a 120 minute tool video. The best videogame movie of all time. 3/10

sad day.

Amy Sherman-Palladino (series creator) and her husband Dan have opted out of writing for the last year of Gilmore Girls. On a new network with new writers...things are looking mighty grim for GG.

Kids (1995)

Overview: I never even heard of this movie. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys haven't either. My roommate said I should watch but boy, this was an 1 1/2 hr of pure agonizing horror. It isn't supposed to be a scary movie mind you. "Kids" follows around a group of inner-city teenagers in the urban streets of New York City. So basically, it was a movie about kids having sex, doing drugs and wasting their lives away with absolutely no supervision, and if they did have it, their parents were just as effing useless. Some people shouldn't have kids. Ya, that was politically correct.

I felt like I was watching a nature special on how bunnies mate or some crap because these little babies!!! they were freaking 12-13 year olds!!! were having sex like it was as necessary as breathing. The main character is Telly, a HIV-positive corrupted boy who finds it his life mission to seduce as many virgins as possible. He was pretty nasty looking to say the least.

The Good: Well, it sure was eye-opening. Kids need parental supervision. That is a no brainer. But even if they had it, the gap between the rich and poor is widening, our middle class shrinking. Low income adults are taking on 2-3 jobs to make it...so who the hell is going to take care of their kids? Latch-key nation. It is harder today to work your way up the ladder than it was 50 years ago. And our educational system is atrocious, 25th in the world. It used to be at the top. So don't tell me that these inner-city kids should know any better. As long as we have leaders who give tax breaks to the 1% of this nation who hold 40% of the wealth and power and throw their weight around then hell yes, we have a huge societal problem. I totally just simplified a complex issue but you catch my drift. We are failing our children and this movie made the result of this failure very clear.

The Bad: I would have liked to get to know the characters better. Sorta unbelievable at times. And I think it would have been nice to have another 20 mins to tie up loose ends.

Recommendation: If you think you can handle it, watch it...I couldn't. I am guessing you will leave with a depressing feeling because there is no cute happy ending. These kids don't care about themselves or the people they infect. (figuratively/literally) And they don't have tangible role models who think otherwise.

Alias is Back...to its same ol' tricks.

Alias is finally back after a lengthy hiatus. Last time we left Sdy, she was kidnapped by Prophet 5, a secret operation, the details of which we never really found out. But her mom was behind it, yet again. Ok, I have been a loyal Alias viewer from the beginning. Some of my friends and I got together to make our own episode of Alias, the contents of which I am sure would make a hilarious youtube hit (if I only knew how to convert VHS-DVD or whatever) but thats how much I was enveloped in this series. But really, I'd be the first one to say that it is time for it to go. I remember a time when my heart use to race to ever heart palpitating corner Sdy would turn and how my eyes would widen with intrigue as she pulled out a new gadget to aid in her impossible missions. But now we are stuck with repetitive plots, leaps of faith I am not willing to take, (is she seriously apart of a 500 year conspiracy? come on!!!) the same effing villains and the flip-flopping of character loyalties. I get that it is a show about alliances and we are always supposed to be asking ourselves, who can we really trust? But come on, can we try to mix it up a little. I am sure Sloane and Irena are still evil somehow and are working together. And I also get that Abrams stopped caring about Alias once he got new projects that were bigger hits. (Lost) But anyway, there is no point in whining now, since this ship has sailed. Only 5 more episodes left. And I hope I feel satisfied at the end of this whole thing. I have been loyal. I deserve some excitement.

Btw...Wednesday's episode was good minus the regular crap. Vaughn is still alive after being dead for 3 months from a bombardment of at least 60 bullets. The mom is bad again. See what I mean.

RSS Fails UPDATE: FIXED!

Hello folks, I am aware of the broken RSS feed and am working on a resolution. It should be back and functional shortly.

In other news, welcome to our new guys, they are doing a great job already.

UPDATE: The issue has been resolved. Resume subscribing by using links on the right side of the screen!

Save Our Show!

Those followers of nerd TV as we like to call it know that in a few short weeks, the fates of shows that we love will be decided. This year, as is no different, quite a few of those shows are on the chopping block. Right around this time of year, Kristin Veitch, TV columnist at E Online, gets together a campaign to throw her support behind one show. While this may not seem like a big deal, her campaign has been successful every time but once, whether by coincidence or not. How to vote you ask? Simply send her an email with the show that you would like to see saved. The winner will have a column written specifically about said show, and Kristin will use her gravitas to push the show to her folks on the inside. Article here.

Here are the eligible shows, copied directly from the article:
Likely to Be Saved: George Lopez, Gilmore Girls, The New Adventures of Old Christine, The O.C., Reba, Scrubs, Smallville, Veronica Mars and The Unit.

On the Fence: According to Jim, Close to Home, Commander in Chief, Conviction, E-Ring, Everwood, The Evidence, Freddie, Girlfriends, Hope & Faith, In Justice, Invasion, Out of Practice, Sons & Daughters, Supernatural, Teachers, The War at Home and What About Brian.

Likely Doomed: All of Us, The Bedford Diaries, Courting Alex, Cuts, Eve, Free Ride, Half & Half, Joey, Less Than Perfect, Living with Fran, The Loop, Love, Inc., Modern Men, One on One, One Tree Hill, Pepper Dennis, Related, Rodney, Surface and Twins.

Surprisingly, and for the first time in a while, all of the shows that we support here are pretty likely to come back. With Arrested Development and Alias' fate already sealed, this year was more difficult than years past for me to make a single choice. For what it's worth, I would say that although I ended up voting for Veronica Mars, Supernatural appears to need the support. Scrubs folks needn't worry; on the off chance that NBC doesn't pick up it's rebounding show, ABC(who actually owns the show) has gone on record saying that they will. Smallville, with a Superman movie juggernaut headed our way, you are safe, at least for this year. Surface folks, it may be time to throw in the towel. Think of Surface as the Ralph Nader vote.

Anyways, here is a direct link to Kristen's inbox..remember, only write the title of the show you want to win in the subject line and send away.

Breakfast On Pluto/Cillian Murphy

I want to make mention of a quite remarkable film that seems to have been overlooked in the US during its run in theaters (due most likely to its quite limited release), but is now on DVD where it can obviously reach the mass audience it deserves. Breakfast On Pluto is the tale of an Irish boy abandoned to a church in infanthood, his subsequent troubles with school, church, and adopted family due to his obvious (and unapologetic) identification as transgendered, and finally the meat of the story is concerned with his quest to find his real mother. It is set by and large in the early 1970s (featuring a mighty nice soul, rock, and bubblegum soundtrack by the way), as IRA/English troubles are raging and, much like Brokeback Mountain (which otherwise this film resembles in no particular way), homosexuality remains an unspeakable taboo, so obviously the nuances of gender/sex identification are even further misunderstood. That said, the film is never didactic, as protagonist Patrick (Cillian Murphy) makes no concessions about who he is, yet it is never an issue until someone else makes it one. Murphy's characterization of Patrick rings true from start to finish, and neither he nor the script fall into caricature at any point. Instead, Murphy and director Neil Jordan present what amounts to an episodic adventure story, as Patrick runs into all kinds of characters during his quest. Are they quirky? Yes, often enough they are in some way, but they are never cliche, and never mere sketches. In fact, that is one of the film's most redeeming aspects: there isn't an uninteresting character in the fair-sized cast of supporting roles. The film is not bogged down in sub-plots, either. As a viewer you are just given enough information to understand where any given character is coming from, and then presented with how the character interacts with Patrick. Most importantly, the film offers surprise after surprise, and earns every step of the way. There's no cheap twists, no false notes, and no dull moments in its two hour run. There are moments of real magic, both in terms of storytelling and filmmaking. Ultimately, this film falls alongside Hedwig & the Angry Inch in terms of boldness, creativity, honesty, and sheer fun, and in fact I think they would make a great double feature. I should probably note that the DVD features a short behind the scenes featurette, and a commentary track. Pretty minimal, I suppose, but I think the film speaks for itself.

I also want to write a quick note about Cillian Murphy in particular, who seems to be one of cinema's most talented rising stars. His breakout role (in the U.S. at least, I'm not sure of his status in Ireland/Europe before this) came with the breath of fresh air in horror, 28 Days Later. He's since had standout roles in Batman Begins and Red Eye, two of the smartest action films of recent years. And now with his leading turn in Breakfast On Pluto he seems to be following in the footsteps of genuinely daring and diversely talented young (well, they were young) actors like Ewan McGregor and Johnny Depp. Let's hope he continues along this line, but avoids the filler McGregor and Depp both have patched into their histories.

Video Games To Film: Street Fighter

This is my first entry for this here blog, mainly because I really could not think of a subject worthy enough to make me want to lose my blogger virginity. I've never blogged before. I once got to second base with a "Sean Hannity Superfans" blog but I was too nervous to go any further. Yet when I was asked to share my views on the 1994 motion picture STREET FIGHTER I knew it was time to bust my blogger heiman.

We seem to be getting movies based on video games all of the time these days, in fact SILENT HILL will be added to the pile tomorrow. But there was an era when this wasn't so. It was a time of the O.J. Simpson trial, Michael Jordan's career in baseball, and when "New York Undercover" dominated the television landscape. The idea of video games being turned into films was still in the art house experimental phase with flicks such as SUPER MARIO BROS. and DOUBLE DRAGON coming and leaving in the blink of an eye. Who could we turn to to make sure such scripts as WING COMMANDER and HOUSE OF THE DEAD would someday find their way to the screen? The answer is simple: Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Van Damme, following the worldwide craze brought on by TIMECOP, teamed up with director Steven E. De Souza to craft a film that human eyes were not ready to view. One would expect that a movie based on the STREET FIGHTER video games would be full of great fight scenes, amazing stunts, and perhaps even some nifty chase sequences. This movie had none of that! Instead, in a bold move that would not be appreciated until years after the film's release, STREET FIGHTER chose to play it for laughs. STREET FIGHTER is a modern take on the Marx Brothers with Van Damme running the show in a way that only Groucho could have done better.

STREET FIGHTER is noteworthy for containing the last filmed performance of famed actor Raul Julia, who was given the difficult task of playing General M. Bison to Van Damme's Colonel Guile. Some might say this was not a fitting way for Julia, a highly respected stage and screen performer, to finish his career before dying. Hogwash to that! Do you think as the years go by that KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN is going to play on Spike TV at 2 in the morning? Hell no! Playing Bison insures Julia will maintain a legacy among insomniacs and those too impotent to be watching porno at that time of night.

If it has been a while since you have seen STREET FIGHTER, or if you've never had the pleasure even once, I urge you to rush right out and give it a fresh look. Raul Julia deserves that much.

The Rappaport Report: The Rapporpture!!!

Eagle eye viewers will have no doubt spotted the 'Port in the audience of Tuesday's American Idol performance episode. Without question he was the biggest (even bigger than Mimi Roger's forehead, she used to date Tom Cruise! ((congrats TomKat! Take that Rogers. You could have been the first to bear Cruise's seed!))) star in the audience that night...coincedence? I THINK NOT.

The Rapporture is coming my friends. First, we get an HOUR of "The War at home" last sunday, now we get Michael in the audience for the biggest show in America. Soon, we will be seeing more of everybody's favorite angry white man (not George Carlin) on Fox.

RAPPAPORT REPORT RUMOR REPORT!!!

Sources inside Fox Headquarters have told me that our man Mike will be making another major splash in this upcoming TV season. Do you guys remember Skating with Celebrities? Of course you do. The big Todd Bridges comeback vehicle was a hit and it is about to sign its next big headliner. Given the title of this column I think you know who I am referring to...

In Tune

My first goal with In Tune (is that title too generic?) is to talk about new music I've been enjoying, not enjoying, eagerly awaiting, or what have you. That includes albums, singles, music videos, etc. Typical stuff. My second goal is to curtail as much as I can any of the indier-than-thou posing one often enough finds in music reviewery. I'll be honest and will have an opinion, I'll tend to accentuate the positive, and when I feel like going negative I'll try to keep in mind it is just one more opinion in the pond. That's the best I can offer, so on with the show.

One of the albums that has been getting the most play from me lately is the recently released Mates of State album, Bring It Back. For those unfamiliar with the group, its a married male/female duo with a drums & keyboard setup. Their signature sound is built on catchy vocal harmonies, fuzzy buzzy keyboard melodies, and rolling/crashing drums. This results in a surprisingly full sound, with songs ranging from gleeful pop stomp to quite affecting melancholy ballads. The band's previous three albums were all pretty consistent: 2 or 3 fantastic standout tracks fleshed out with several more samey but still pretty good songs. Well the good news is that the fourth album runs along the same lines, with some amazing standout tracks ("Like U Crazy" and the one-two knockout at the end, "Punchlines" and "Running Out"), and several more pretty good songs that, if anything, are even pretty gooder (uhm, yah) than on previous albums. If you're into big fuzzy songs with charming vocal harmonies, you shouldn't be disappointed.

Built to Spill return with their first album in nearly five years, the wryly titled You In Reverse. Frontman Doug Martsch is known for matching his muscular guitar virtuosity with equally strong, head-sticking melodies, which may be the reason the band's last album (Ancient Melodies of the Future) was so divisive. While I found it to be quite a pleasant listen all the way through, it's impossible to deny that it was overall a less ambitious album in context with their other work. That said, I do believe You In Reverse will prove to be a pleasant surprise for both sides of that fan division, and for new BTS listeners as well. At first listen, the album sounds like the most straightforward rock record they have ever made, and I suppose in some ways it is. It even seems to be missing the layering of sound BTS fans have come to expect. With continued (and repeated listens) however, the layers creep out of the background; the album may not be as lush as past releases, but it's definitely just as complex and rewarding. From the nearly-nine-minute Goliath of an opener "Goin' Against Your Mind" to the sidewinder closer "The Wait," Built to Spill deliver another top shelf effort in the ever-more-crowded realm of indie/pop/rock.

Lastly, I want to mention a couple singles that have been digging their way into my brain lately. The first is one of the best pop gems out so far this year, "Bossy" by Kelis. The vocals are sexy and serpentine ("I ride the beat like a bicycle/I'm icy cold" is just one in a string of great lines this song features), and the backing track is relatively skeletal in all the best ways. To make matters even better, Too $hort guests to knock out the bridge with a surprisingly solid rap. Kelis continues to be up and above most of her contemporaries (Missy E. is just about the only other true female innovator out there in the mainstream right now, it seems. If i'm wrong, I'll be glad of it, so let me know). It's an A+ single and I don't think it will wear out its welcome any time soon. Not to mention the fantastic video, with Kelis (minus her poodle hair, finally) really showing who's boss. The other song that's been stuck in my head lately is Three 6 Mafia's "Poppin' My Collar," the follow-up single to their magnificent "Stay Fly." I'm not going to pretend I really care about this group in a big way. I didn't like any of their songs I heard before "Stay Fly," I haven't downloaded any of their albums including the newest one, and while I think it's pretty cool they won the Oscar this year, I also think "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" was the weakest of the three or four songs D Jay performs in Hustle & Flow. All that aside, there's no denying the song. Like "Stay Fly," the instrumental here is upbeat bordering on triumphant; the lyrics are meaningless; the delivery is awesome; the hook is as good as it gets. Project Pat's flow in particular makes me want to add a final -a syllable to every last word I say for all time. It's that darn catchy. That said-a, I think I'm gonna go to bed-a. See you late-a, unless you are a music hate-a.

The Rapaport Report

It looks like Christmas came early this year, folks! To make matters confusing, though, it arrived on Easter Sunday, getting its yule tide peanut butter all over our collective chocolate bunny, in what can only be described as proof positive that such nebulous terms as "God" and "Rupert Murdoch" are actually quite synonymous. I am referring, of course, to Sunday's miraculous double dose of The War At Home, the only show on television currently featuring the Christ figure in this entirely non-hyperbolic extended metaphor, Michael Rapaport. Let's face the facts: he's Jewish (like Jesus); he's the typical hammy, earnest red head (like Jesus); he's 6'4" (like Jesus). Unlike Jesus, however, he wasn't executed before the advent of situation comedies, and so his teachings may be captured in real time on video tape and preserved for generations to come. Now we all know that the 8:30 slot in Fox’s Sunday night line-up has always been a greased trapeze of sorts, where eager sitcoms come to fly from The Simpsons’s firm grip only to fall to their bloody doom. Enter our hero Rapaport: character actor supreme in film after film where he plays the only white guy. His charge: not only following The Simpsons, but ushering in The Family Guy. Two animated cartoon shows?! Who says prime time isn’t for kids anymore? Anyway, if there was any doubt, which there wasn’t, Rapaport and co. pull it off flawlessly. Not only that, but they are pioneers in the world of sit-coms in that they have added a special twist: the slightly dysfunctional family! You would think Fox, always the edgiest network, would have thought of something like this before; but nope, it takes Rapaport to do a man’s job. And what did he bring to our feasting table? Well for one thing, he made the decision to include ethnic diversity in primary roles, casting feisty Italian(!!!)Anita Barone as his wife Vicky. In an unprecedented move, he actually traveled back through time to capture a teenage Conan O’Brien, forced him into drag, and cast him as his sexually promiscuous daughter. Then, in an act of unrivaled celebrity altruism, Rapaport rescued a poor starving orphan child from the barren wastelands of Malcolm In The Middle to play his disappointing older son (beat that, Brangelina!). And finally, there’s an obnoxious young blonde actor playing his obnoxious young blonde son. The genius of the show is that each kid has a problem; Rapaport and wife argue about it with them and each other; after a series of one-liners for each cast member the problems are more or less resolved; and to keep things from becoming formulaic, slightly different problems are thought up each week! If that’s not a recipe for success, then it wouldn’t be Rapaport’s recipe. Keep up the tasty work, I say! Well that’s all for the report right now, fellows. Keep a dedicated eye out for future reports, and The Rapaport Report might reach its ultimate goal: At least one Rapaport show on every major network.

Solid Brick

BRICK

Brick sounds like a no brainer. Take the archetypical detective story, and set it in modern day high school. What Rian Johnson ends up with is a slick looking nod to the thrillers of the ‘40’s with fast talking men hot on the heels of a dangerous crime lord in a shady setting with shadier woman.

Brick tells the tale of Brendan, a high school youth who worries about the whereabouts of his ex-girlfriend Emily. When things go awry, Brendan has to delve into the shady high school underworld to shake out the guilty party. Helping him out is The Brain, a rubix cube playing associate who aides him with information. This information leads Brendan to a meeting with a number of the schools more outlandish individuals.

Rian Johnson has got it, I don’t mean got the style of the genre he’s knee deep in, though he does, his detective tale is a road paved with sleepless nights, vicious brawls, mysterious men with mysterious motives. Johnson's got the visual talent and ability to create a distinct mood and atmosphere What’s really impressive is the staging and execution of the two big “action” scenes, one being a parking lot brawl, the other being a thrilling foot chase with a splendid payoff, it’s no surprise he was awarded for originality of vision, the guy’s gonna go places.

I never liked Joseph Gordon-Levitt during his tenure on Third Rock from the Sun as the youngest [oldest?] alien Tommy, but then you don’t care once his portrayal of Brendan hits the ground running in his search for the perpetrators and the story behind the titular “Brick”, giving pursuit with little regards to health, sleep or grades, he’s the hero who can't be put down, and his hard boiled banter works 100% throughout the tale. To paraphrase Paul Rudd “Y'know, I always thought that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the shit in this one!”

Discussing the supporting cast of characters risks spoiling and this is a film best watched without prior knowledge [But then again, what isn’t?]. Brick is playing in limited release but I assure you it’s worth the time when the film is rolled out to a theatre near you.

Yo Mamma handles more "traffic" than a linux based web server!!!

Immigration is a hot topic right now, and myself being a California resident I have come to embrace the Hispanic culture that is so prevalent in Southern California with one exception...WILMER VALDERRAMA. I would gladly support deporting all "undocumented citizens" if the government only promised to send Wilmer back with them. This guy has done nothing significant in his entire Hollywood career. He has simply coasted on his Fez voice and his on again off again relationship with Lindsay Lohan (come on you two, work it out!!!).

Apparently, someone gave Wilmer DVDs of "In Living Color" and some executive agreed that the idea of doing a show based on a 15 year old skit concept (Dirty Dozens) was a great idea! Basically, Wilmer and some black guy find the best trash talkers from schools in the "ghetto" and have them "spit their game" against each other. As I was watching bits and pieces of the recent 9 episode marathon MTV aired this past weekend, I expected Ashton Kutcher to pop into my screen and explain to me this was one giant Punk'd skit. The people on the show are not funny and the jokes are all old. Seriously, we all see this person is fat and has pimples is it really that hilarious when you point out the obvious? Also, there is something inherently racist about the idea of combing the "ghettos" for the best trash talkers. Are blacks and latinos the only ones who can talk good trash? Rich white kids have been trying to be black for the past 40 years. I am sure there are some great trash talkers up in the San Fernando Valley or in Beverly Hills.

"Yo Mama" airs 19 times a day on MTV. I am sure you will run into an episode soon. I suggest you don't watch.

Justin Fixes the Sweeps Update: Faze

Since I have to be the negative guy around here, and the only show I think is up to par is The Sopranos (well and the Office), I'm going all counterpoint on Faze's ass.

24: Who knows what it is about this show that keeps me glued. It's not as interesting as seasons past, and never as ballsy as it's best cliffhangers tease. Somehow though, the still badass Jack Bauer and his merry band of folks keep this show near the top of my DVR list. Aside from the cliffhangers, which I agree with the Faze on, a major recurrance is the reliance on bureaucratic roadbloacks to Jack. It seems no matter how many times this guy is right, there's some new head of CTU or protocol that is in his way. It's a plot device used almost every week. If this didn't exist, this season's 24 would have to be called 2.

Prison Break: I have all four of these waiting on my DVR. More later.

Family Guy: After a phenominal return and great run, the show has gone downhill for me since the Quagmire falls in love episode. The last 2 or so have produced about as much laughs from me as your average episode of Mad TV or Saving Private Ryan. Hopefully they are just off their game, but if this streak continues, I don't see this lasting on my must watch list.

American Idol: Fuck you for mentioning this on my site. To all of you people watching this, thank you for making a shitty karaoke/popularity contest one of the most watched shows on TV. Die.

Scrubs: Keith is horrible. This season is horrible. I feel this perhaps more than others because I only caught up with the show last year..the first few seasons still fresh in my mind. How did these characters' reality become more crazy than JD's old fantasies? How have they managed to dumb down these characters that they have taken so much care to give depth? Why, when Elliot had nothing to do, did they have to give her the jackass Keith? Why do the producers of the show think he is good enough to be recurring? The show may be getting it's best ratings, but god dammit it has nothing to do with the current state of things. There have been some good shows, the Wizard of Oz and Air Guitar band being standouts. Fasion is really shining this year as well, they are giving him room to breathe. The rest of the scrubs are just starting to annoy me..even the great Dr. Cox has been hitting the same note for a while. The former masterful balance of comedy and drama has been tilted way to the comedy side, with the drama forced in at the end in an almost full house fashion..all that is missing is the shitty guitar riff. The Office is the funniest show that is (still, arrested development RIP) on television right now.

Veronica Mars: One of the most consistent shows on TV is still pretty great. I have quite a backlog of these to watch so I'm not completely caught up, but I am liking where the show is going. My only problem here is that the attempts to make this accident seem personal to Veronica seem stretched..that is nothing that can't be tied in later. I also love the possibility that season one's mystery hasn't really been solved.

Supernatural: I will watch this one on DVD.

Lost: Ah yes, you've been waiting for this one. Jeph Loeb, known mainly for his work on some recent great Batman comic books, has seen some work with Lost this season..And some of it has been pretty good. Ok, I lied, this show sucks, but like 24, I keep tuning in to see when they slide in their approximately 1 out of 5 ratio in which the episodes have anything interesting happening to a character you give a shit about. Seriously, who cares about the asian couple? If you say that you do, you really ought to get outside, or at least down to your video store and rent a show that does this type of thing right, Twin Peaks, or even get a COMIC BOOK that does it right, The Walking Dead. Anyway, the last Locke episode was a good example of how good it could be. They didn't spoonfeed us anything, and they didn't really reveal anything, but they added to the mythology of the show in a way that kept it interesting. I don't care about the love triangle, I don't care about Sun's baby, I don't care about the sand in Ana Lucia's snapper. I care about the main story. The writers haven't given any characters enough depth or relevance, outside of a precious few, for that to change for me.

Pre-Sweeps Update 2

Here are some of the shows I have been following in addition to the ones listed below:

Desperate Housewives: Season 2 started out really slow and I was pretty sure it was going downhill from all the hoopla it got first season. The story line has picked up and it is getting somewhat interesting. Carlos and Gabby are stealing babies, Bre is being accused of child molestation and Susan can't seem to get it right with men. Seems like any other week in Wisteria Lane. America loves sensationalism. I guess that includes me.

Grey's Anatomy: It is still entertaining to me, despite Meredith Grey. George sleeps with Meredith and while they are doing it, she cries so he hates her. He ends up dating some orthopedic surgeon, forgot her name. Mer and Dr. McDreamy are trying to be "friends." And Izzy is falling for a patient in need of a heart transplant. 10 bucks on Addy walking in on Mer and McDreamy in bed by the end of the season.

Prison Break: Faze already talked about this. Just wanted to add how much I love Wentworth Miller. And I hope Dr. Sara falls for him even more while he is in the psych ward.

Gilmore Girls: I have been meaning to talk about this show but have been avoiding it since there is so much to say. I have been a fan from the beginning and I am going to miss it when it goes next year. The season has seen a lot of ups and downs in the world of Rory and Loreali. Running away from Yale, getting arrested, going back to Yale and falling in love with the town asshole (Logan) are just some of the things Rory has accomplished thus far. Loreali and Luke finally admitted their love to one another and planned on getting married but that got complicated after Luke found out he had a long lost daughter. Even still, Loreali and Luke are boring as a couple, I actually enjoying Luke's pining for her more then them being together. Hmm what else...Jess came back last week. That was refreshing. And Paul Anka guest starred. (reason why it's funny-Loreali named her dog after him) Oh ya, Loreali's parents are planning to move to Stars Hollow. That should be interesting. AND Lane is getting married!!

Enough Summarizing. I love this show's wit. And I remember someone coined them Gabmore Girls (maybe SNL or MADTV, not sure) because everyone speed talks. Remember the show Blossom, her friend? It is like that. Like 100 words a sec. You really have to pay attention to get jokes because they don't stop for the audience to get them. That's all for now.

Pre-Sweeps Update

Do you hear that? It's the sound of your Tivo/DVR revving up for the happiest time of the TV season...Sweeps. I figured since I have talked about TV so little recently, I would run a quick update of some of my favorite shows as they make their way into the homestretch.

24: Umm...I don't know where to start. This season has been all over the place. The one theme that is kind of annoying is doing a big reveal at the end of one week, only to take a step back in the following week's episode essentially negating any drama that was developed e.g. Audrey's connection to the day's events, the President's involvement, etc, etc, ETC. The only thing saving this season is that it has had some great "Jack Moments". Anyway, this show is really limping to the finish in my opinion...yet I keep watching!

Prison Break: I was skeptical what they would do after we saw the aftermath of the initial breakout attempt. I figured the show would collapse in 24 fashion and just meander around until the end of the season for a big bang finish. I guess it can still happen seeing that it just came back a month ago, but I like what they seem to be setting up, and that flashback episode was actually pretty good.

American Idol: Good talent. Thank God Taylor and Chris are there. I am calling McPhee to win it all.

Scrubs: Pretty decent overall. It hasn't had the consistency that I could expect each week, but still very high quality stuff.

Veronica Mars: The show has been cruising along nicely giving bits and pieces of information about the bus crash. I was afraid this formula wouldn't work as well as it did last year having one giant overarching mystery, but you know what as the season has gone along its really kept me engrossed.

Lost: Justin would disagree here, but this season has been spectacular. The impending war with the Others, Mr. Eko, guns, POW's, crazy houses, highlighter images, etc. Great stuff. I can't wait to see what massive cliffhanger they leave us with this year.

Supernatural: Still my fave show of the entire year. Every episode is laden with humor, scares, mythology, and just good ole ass kickin'. It really has the early seasons of Buffy vibe going for it with a nice kick of machismo. It looks like the demon that killed Sam and Dean's mom will be involved in the finale and they will be reunited with their recluse father to fight it. I can't wait.

South Park still relevant?

So this last week brought the conclusion to South Park's 2 parter commenting on freedom of speech and the controversy over Danish cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) packaged all around Cartman's quest to get Family Guy cancelled for showing the Prophet in an episode.

Geeks have been in an uproar about this episode and have come out in staunch support of Trey Parker and Matt Stone but I ask is it warranted? I did not think these episodes were that clever at all and any laughs in it were just chuckle inducing. The twist involving the writing staff of family guy being manatees was just stupid. The commentary on freedom of speech I guess was intelligent, but nothing groundbreaking. Really, South Park hasn't done anything great for a long time now. Save for its Scientology episode (which was genius), the show has just been coasting. Granted, I haven't watched the show religiously for years now,but I get the feeling that the show is going through, dare I say, the Simpsons syndrome. Its been on too long and it just doesnt make with the funny anymore

As far as Family guy, the show has had huge ups and downs this season, but I still think its one of the funniest shows out there and today's South Park doesn't hold a candle to the best that Family Guy has to offer.

As far as which show in its prime is better, the answer to that is easy...Futurama.

Tivo is still kicking

Lots of Tivo in the news over the past week. First, Tivo extended its deal with DirectTV for another 3 years, which means all you DirecTivo users out there can rejoice in getting great satellite service with the BEST DVR software on the market today (LINK).

Next, Tivo announced a sort of choose your own adventure version of advertising given the fact that Tivo users see little to no traditional commercials. Basically, you see part of an ad and choose what kind of person/consumer you are and the ad will continue down a specific path for the user (LINK)

Finally, the big news. Tivo wins its patent infringment lawsuit against Echostar (the other satellite provider) and is awarded 73 million dollars. Basically, Tivo stated that Echostar stole their technology and used it in their own 1st party DVRs. In reality, everyone has stolen Tivo's design, but no one has done it better (LINK)

Just when you think they couldn't get any stupider, they go and do something like this...AND TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES. (5 stealing cable brownie points to the person who can identify the movie that I am paraphrasing from)

You Tube Pick of the week/day/hour

Heat Vision and Jack. A super intelligent astronaut (played by Jack Black) on the run from NASA with his talking bike (imbued with the spirit of our hero's old roommate Doug and voiced by Owen Wilson). This pilot for a half hour action-comedy show directed by Ben stiller and written by some of his old "Ben Stiller Show" cohorts has been floating around youtube for a while now. I finally got around to seeing the whole thing. It had potential, but it also felt a bit off in its humor too. Although, you gotta give the show credit for having Ron Silver play himself, "a gifted actor and a cold blooded killer".

Fox passed it over. Of course, if they knew how big Jack Black would become I am sure they would have reconsidered. Tell us what you think about it. Here is the link

Thank You For Smoking

Overview: Nick Nayler played by Aaron Eckhart is a lobbyist for the Tobbaco company who wants to take back the industry from the do-gooders (played by William H. Macy) by getting more cigarettes into the hands of children and teenagers, preferably by working with Hollywood to get smokes into films. Much of the film is a reflection of how Nayler faces opposition against his “morally flexible” stance on selling cigarettes. Nayler’s son, a product of a broken home, wants to learn what his dad does and why everyone hates him so much…so Nayler takes him along for the journey, from taking part in bribes to point blank escapades.


The Good: What satire!!! And what a cast. Rob Lowe plays the head honcho of a consulting firm, “EGO” (haha) who has a weird obsession with anything Asian. Katie Holmes is a reporter who will go to any lengths to get a story and she does a pretty good job. Robert Duvall is the “captain” of the industry who supplies money to Nayler to further the smoking cause. I could go on but really…the cast was awesome. Not to give away too much, but I really loved how these anti-heroes did not feel it necessary to change their views to be politically correct. It was real and I appreciated it. (Especially the Merchants of Death. Haha!)

The Bad: Nothing. It was a light hearted laugh and I really enjoyed it.

Recommendation: Definitely go watch it. Unless you have lung cancer or know someone who died from it, or got fat from cheese or got shot or alcohol poisoning, I could see why you wouldn’t think it’s funny. Sorry.

Can you see me now? Good.

Verizon is looking to establish direct relations with its customers in hopes of subscribing more people to their new cable TV campaign. In an article in the Wall Street Journal, Verizon has set up call centers in Fairfax, VA to directly answer the concerns of the customers in the region, one of the first of many of such centers. There has been a push to sell their cable TV service door to door. The article talked about this one lady who recently had surgery and switched to Verizon because the rep came to her door and offered to walk her dog. She claimed he was so nice and that's why she switched. Oh man. That is the way to do it. Verizon is not even offering discounts to customers because they have not gone national at this point and their rates are still more than Comcast but I guess this door to door service is a way to revamp their company.

It is interesting to note how companies are changing their marketing techniques to stay in tune with the times. With the inevitable segmentation of media as we know it, everyone knows it's all about customization and they all want a piece of the pie. Telecommunication companies are switching over to cable and vice versa. I personally would rather have the companies stick to their original endeavors instead of crossing over because I get this image of Walmart-esque companies taking over every aspect of our lives and selling anti-freeze in the same aisle as fresh fruits but that’s just my own personal paranoia and I realize it probably isn’t rational because of regulations. Thank God for Osha, FDA, EPA and whatever the hell else. This will probably be really good for consumers because the more competition there is, the more innovation and price cuts. Here is to living at the threshold of change. Cheers.

You Tube Pick of the day/week/hour

This post is actually a link to a specific youtube user's member profile. The man "young afghan" has posted over 300 videos of classic hip hop from A tribe called quest to Kool G Rap and everything good inbetween.

You will not find any of that crap being sold as hip hop today in this collection.

This was Hip Hop at its BEST.

Go here and set aside a few hours.

Not So Phat.

Phat Girlz. So I got coaxed into watching this film with a bunch of girls...ya peer pressure. I had a feeling it was going to be horrible because Mo'Nique was in it but I watched it anyway because I did not want to be diffcult.


Overview: Mo'Nique wants to get some but thinks she won't ever find a man because she is obese and hates herself.

The Good: nothing, I wanted to shoot myself.

The Bad: This movie was trying to be a social commentary on how America views fat people and how in Nigeria, being obese is a sign of wealth because most of the country is dying of starvation. And how you should love yourself, even if you are really overweight. The words type 2 diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, certain types of cancer and early death kept flashing in my head and yes, that's where my mind went because I was so not entertained with anything in this movie at all. It was trying to be funny and serious at the same time and it just didn't work. None of it. The lines were so predictable that I knew what the characters were going to say before they said it.

Recommendation: I am actually just venting because I am so annoyed that I wasted money on this piece of crap, waste of my life, excuse for a motion picture. So Kids, moral of the story, don't listen to your friends and steer clear of Mo'Nique.

BORAT: THE MOVIE (I like you, do you like me?)

If you don't know who this man is to the left, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Borat Sagiyadev before reading this advance review. I think watching his work will explain the genius that Sacha Baron Cohen has created. You can find a lot of great stuff on youtube (who knew?!). Here is a link to a best of episode from one of the british episodes

Ok...done watching? Caught your breath from laughing. Let me tell you, that I was lucky enough to see a full movie version of Borat's antics in America, and if you loved the clips you saw on youtube, you will love this movie. I don't want to ruin too much of the movie, but I will just tell fans out there that this is NOTHING like "Da Ali G movie". Rather than make an actual movie, Cohen made the smart choice of putting together interviews across the U, S, and A and running a paper thin plot in the background to give the movie a more legitimate beginning and end.

They use what worked from shows in the past e.g. the etiquette bit is recreated with a new flavor, but there is nothing from the show that was just spliced into the movie. This is 100% new Borat. Along for the ride is Borat's Kazakstani TV producer, Azamat. You will just have to watch to see the antics he gets involved in. There are some INSANELY funny scenes that will no doubt be trimmed for the MPAA and some tightening up occuring over the next few months for sure, but with no hyperbole I can say that this movie is one of the funniest things I have scene in the past few years.

For the uninitiated who didnt care to view the clips, the only movie that really compares is the Jackass movie. Real people are on camera, who don't know that Borat is just a character being played by a comedian. It isn't some sort of mockumentary because there is little scripted action in it at all and 90% of the laughs come from the culture clashes that Borat sees between American and Kazakstani culture.


As far as release date, we were told that the movie is currently being screened across southern california but is in a state where the audience input can make significant changes in the final product. So, I would guess the movie is still 5-6 months away from release. I could see the studios waiting to see how Will Ferrell's new movie "Talladega Nights: the legend of ricky bobby" does this summer seeing that Sacha Cohen plays Ferrell's nemesis in that movie. A Borat movie in the fall/christmas season could build nicely on positive buzz from the Ferrel movie.

If you love the show, you will love this movie. If you aren't familiar with the show, you will still love this movie. If you are an ultra conservative, feminist, jew...you may not like this movie.

You Tube pick of the day/week/hour

I am a you tube whore. It epitomizes this whole craze of user created content that all the tech geeks of the world have been talking about for the past few months. Granted, a lot of the stuff on the site is not created by users as so much as digitzed and posted there. The thing that makes it great though is that I literally am never disappointed by the content. Do you want to see "u cant touch this", it's there...the humpty dance, it's there...captain eo (the michael jackson 3d adventure that used to be at disneyland/world), it's THERE...and the list goes on and on.

So, given the fact that I waste so much time there, I thought I would just link to some of my favorite peices from you tube in this blog from time to time. At first it was going to be a weekly column, but I figured given the amount of stuff on the site I should leave myself the possibility of posting more than once a week.

Without further ado, the first youtube pick of the day/week/hour:

C-walking Vietnamese

For the wankstas out there, C-walking (short for crip walking) is a sort of gangsta dance form popularized by southern California's own legendary gang "the Crips". Members such as Snoop Dogg and Mack 10 often use these dance moves in their stage shows and refer to them in their music. Now, these 3 vietnamese kids have taken it to a far more complex level than gangsta's ever did and frankly are pretty damn impressive.

Enjoy...

Robot Chicken is BACK BABY

Robot Chicken, one of the best things Adult Swim has green lighted since its original 4 shows, is coming back TONIGHT AT 11:30 pm on Cartoon Network.

Coincedentally, the DVD of season 1 is also available with all the original "Sweet J presents" skits that Seth Green and Matt Seinreich worked on , which was basically the same idea as Robot Chicken. Unfortunately, Sweet J was part of Sony's early foray into the world of Broadband, Screenblast, which basically meant it was impossible to view entire episodes due to buffering and poor streams.

For the uninitiated (of which there are many), Robot chicken is a skit show at heart. Except the stars are action figures of yesteryear (animated through stop motion) in outrageous situations e.g. Voltron facing off with a monster in a "you got served" style dance off, Optimus Prime falling not to decepticons but to prostate cancer, etc.

If you were born in the '80s, Robot Chicken will definitely entertain you, and its barely 15 minutes long made up of sketches that range from 5 seconds to 3 minutes. You cant be THAT busy can you?